Dear Adele, What the Hell?

I think by now we all know who Adele is. She seems like a cool person, but of course, I’ve found a reason to not like her. Well, it’s not that I don’t like her. I’m just questioning her existence.

Adele famously said,

I love food and I hate exercise. I don’t have time to work out…I don’t want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue. I want to be on the cover of Rolling Stone or Q. I’m not a trendsetter…I’m a singer…I’d rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album than look like Nicole Richie and do a shit album. My aim in life is never to be skinny.

Hmm this seems like a sensitive subject for Adele. I’m going to dissect this quote so all of you can be bothered by Adele too.

“I love food and hate exercise.” Oh really? How strange. I’ve never met anyone in life who has that problem. Come on Adele. Who doesn’t love food? No one. I get that she’s trying to be relatable, but isn’t that too relatable? Oh you love food and hate exercise? There’s a club for that–it’s called everyone in the entire world.

“I don’t want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue.” Okay again, Adele, no one wants to be on the cover of Playboy. That’s a sign of desperation. And as for Vogue, can beggars be choosers? I mean, no one has to put you on the cover of anything. Oh wait, look. What’s this?

You look like you’re having an alright time on the cover of two different copies of Vogue. Did you tell them that you didn’t want to be on the cover when they called you up?

“I’d rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album than look like Nicole Richie and do a shit album.” Good news! You can actually be skinny AND make a good album! It’s been done before, I’m sure it will be done again. I mean, look at Amy Winehouse. She was super skins and she had an awesome voice. Granted, she died. But still.

“My aim in life is never to be skinny.” Hmm that’s interesting. It seems like you’ve lost quite a bit of weight. I mean, it might be because you have a new boyfriend, or because you wanted to look good at the Grammy’s knowing that you would win everything, or it might be because you realize that being overweight doesn’t make you happy. You don’t have to be super skinny or really overweight. There’s a happy medium for everyone. Just don’t be so crabby about it.

Also, your chin creeps me out.

Fall Favo(u)rites

This is going to be a seasonal break from my posts aboot Canada to talk about some of my favorite things in fall. Lets get started, shall we?

1. “Someone Like You” by Adele. Such a good song. I listen to it at least once a day. I think my neighbors are starting to get creeped/going to kill me. The song’s lyrics are kind of weird, “Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you.” Like, you’re really awesome and I love you but you don’t love me, so I’ll settle for someone like you, but they won’t be as good as you. Hmm that’s a pretty bad sitch. I’m still not convinced that Adele isn’t singing about Nutella though.

2. Pizza. I got such a good deal on pizza at Costco (I know, I know. I shop there now). It was 4 pizzas for $12. I think they are meant for at least two people, but surprisingly, I am able to finish them off without any help.

3. My birthday. It was on October 5th and even though I am getting super old (24 blehh), it’s still really nice to have 100 notifications on facebook. I felt the love. And if you didn’t wish me happy birthday, you are officially dead to me.

Perfect. Purrfect.

4. Pictures of cats. Cats are so awesome. And pictures of cats dressed up or just being weird really make me happy. Cats always look like they hate the world and it never ceases to put a smile on my face.

5. “Big Wheels” by Down With Webster. I really just like this song for the music video. It’s got a video game theme and I am kind of obsessed with gaming. There is a scene in the video where the band is go-kart racing and they filmed it like Mario Kart. I really appreciated it.

6. The Pacific Ocean. I can walk to the beach from my apartment in about 15 minutes. Granted, its cold outside and the water is freezing, but its kind of a great luxury to live by the ocean and stare out into it’s vastness. Yes, I’m gay.

7. Tweeting. I know, I know! A little slow on the uptake. The word “tweeting” kind of makes me want to re-think my life, but there is something so great about being able to write a message to some of my favorite celebs in hopes that they might read it. It seems kind of vain at times, but hey, if you like listening to yourself talk (or reading your own words) then it’s definitely for you.

8. Animal Crossing. Okay this is a video game for Wii where you start a life in this town and you make friends and eventually establish yourself as a capable townsperson. I was explaining to Paul how its really cool because you have to work for this guy in the town in order to pay off your house. And Paul was like, “Oh that’s weird. I have to do that in real life.” No one understands me. I was really stressed in this game trying to make a living. How belittling.

9. Tumblr. You can use tumblr for lots of different things. Many people use it to blog or to post pictures that they have taken. I post pictures of things that I wish I had. It’s like a virtual scrapbook of dreams. Yes. And on that note, I am finished.