Feelings, Food, Judging, Music

Dear Adele, What the Hell?

I think by now we all know who Adele is. She seems like a cool person, but of course, I’ve found a reason to not like her. Well, it’s not that I don’t like her. I’m just questioning her existence.

Adele famously said,

I love food and I hate exercise. I don’t have time to work out…I don’t want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue. I want to be on the cover of Rolling Stone or Q. I’m not a trendsetter…I’m a singer…I’d rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album than look like Nicole Richie and do a shit album. My aim in life is never to be skinny.

Hmm this seems like a sensitive subject for Adele. I’m going to dissect this quote so all of you can be bothered by Adele too.

“I love food and hate exercise.” Oh really? How strange. I’ve never met anyone in life who has that problem. Come on Adele. Who doesn’t love food? No one. I get that she’s trying to be relatable, but isn’t that too relatable? Oh you love food and hate exercise? There’s a club for that–it’s called everyone in the entire world.

“I don’t want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue.” Okay again, Adele, no one wants to be on the cover of Playboy. That’s a sign of desperation. And as for Vogue, can beggars be choosers? I mean, no one has to put you on the cover of anything. Oh wait, look. What’s this?

You look like you’re having an alright time on the cover of two different copies of Vogue. Did you tell them that you didn’t want to be on the cover when they called you up?

“I’d rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album than look like Nicole Richie and do a shit album.” Good news! You can actually be skinny AND make a good album! It’s been done before, I’m sure it will be done again. I mean, look at Amy Winehouse. She was super skins and she had an awesome voice. Granted, she died. But still.

“My aim in life is never to be skinny.” Hmm that’s interesting. It seems like you’ve lost quite a bit of weight. I mean, it might be because you have a new boyfriend, or because you wanted to look good at the Grammy’s knowing that you would win everything, or it might be because you realize that being overweight doesn’t make you happy. You don’t have to be super skinny or really overweight. There’s a happy medium for everyone. Just don’t be so crabby about it.

Also, your chin creeps me out.

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