The Pros and Cons of Being a Working Woman

Now you have to understand that this list is from the point of view of someone who previously didn’t work for cough*her entire life*cough and is now a full time nanny. If you’re a little slow to the pick up, that someone is me. Your pros and cons list might be extremely different from mine. And probably way better too. Because everyone thinks they’re so frickin’ great these days.

Pro: I get to play and be silly.

Con: I have to wake up at an hour where playing and being silly is the equivalent to death.

Pro: Kids are super honest and you always know where you stand with them.

Con: I’d rather not know.

Pro: I don’t have to get dressed up.

Con: I don’t have to get dressed up 😦

Pro: I meet lots of fun kids every day.

Con: Fun kids can be flu carriers. Not fun.

Pro: I get to eat like a kid!

Con: I have to walk like a kid.

Pro: I don’t really have to work out because I’m on my feet all day.

Con: When I come home I want to murder everyone.

Pro: I make my own money!

Con: I have to spend my own money 😦

What’s the best thing about your job? What’s the worst?

Stressed But Well Dressed

You know those cutesy little framed quotes meant to hang in your kitchen that say “Stressed is just desserts backwards!” Yeah, I hate that. It’s like, okayyy so if I eat a brownie my stresses are just supposed to flutter away? If anything, I think that would add to the feeling of being overwhelmed. Oh great, now I can’t eat dinner because I had a stupid brownie because this sign in my kitchen basically told me to.

I’m really just overreacting. I started nannying full time-ish and I’ve found that I have no time for myself, no time to clean, and no time to workout. I just want to sleep forever. How do people have kids and read books? Or have kids and write blog posts? Or have kids and vacuum? I honestly don’t understand. I don’t even have children of my own and I’m finding it hard to fit everything I want to do into one day.

Me, after work.

I do like the whole earning money aspect though. And sometimes, okay a lot of the time, the kids are pretty cute. And I’ve gotten an avalanche of compliments on my gold sparkly TOMS after hanging around playgrounds so much. They’ve been referred to as “princess shoes,” jus’ sayin’.

So no, it’s not all bad. One of the terrifying things though, is when the parents of other children on the playground think I’m one of them. “NO!” I want to scream. I’m going to look wayyyy more ragged and tired when I have kids. The fact that I could already pass as a parent scares me to no end. Also, I would hope that my future children would somewhat resemble me. How can people look at these kids with huge brown eyes and thick hair and assume I’m their mom? Does not compute.

I digress. If you haven’t seen me around the blogosphere lately, this is the reason. But I’ll try to pop my head in every so often to see what’s up. Is anything stressing you out lately?

Jobs That Shouldn’t Exist

Occasionally when my husband and I sit down to watch Jeopardy, we catch a bit of Wheel of Fortune beforehand. While I was studying the show, I noticed Vanna White dressed to the nines. And by nines, I mean wearing dresses that someone her age should not be wearing unless they’re up for an Academy Award.

What kind of prestigious job does Vanna do that requires her to wear such gorgeous uniforms? Why she touches panels that have been lit up, of course! In all seriousness folks, do we really need to keep paying Vanna to do this? Honestly? We live in the 21st century for crying out loud! Can’t the panels show the letter on their own now? She really has to go up to each one and touch it? Update your set, Wheel of Fortune. How can you be able to give away “fortunes” but not have up-to-date technology?

Also, do we really need to keep paying for extras in movies and TV? Can’t they just film shows and whoever ends up in the background is just part of the show that day? Is it really necessary to pay people to walk from one end of the set to the other? I know what you’re thinking, What if the show is a period piece and the extras need to be dressed up and go through makeup? You bring up a good point. If people want to be extras then they can get dressed up and be in the background and their payment is that they get to be in the background of a really cool movie or TV show.

I’m actually not sure if this is a job or if volunteers do it, but either way I hate them. Those bell ringers at Christmas time who want money for the Salvation Army or whatever? Like, do you really need to stand there? Why don’t you just leave a box accepting donations at the registers of the stores you’re standing outside of? Also, don’t you think people would’ve donated money already if they wanted to? Are you supposed to put me in the giving spirit? Because you’re putting me in the murder someone spirit.

I’m kind of torn about this next job because I appreciate them, but I also feel like they’re unnecessary. Models–do we really need people to show us how expensive clothes look on someone way skinnier than the person buying the clothes? Probs not. Like, if I wanted to buy something, I would try it on, not see how it looks sashaying down the runway. I actually think models are gorge, fun to look at, and almost an art form really. That being said, their job entails walking and posing for pictures. I do that every day so where are my millions?

Lastly, I hate the people who stand by the side of busy roads and wave signs that say “BLOWOUT SALE” or “BUY TWO PIZZAS GET ONE FREE!” How hard is it to find signs that stick in the ground? You really want to pay someone to stand outside holding a sign? Is that being proactive? No. Stick the sign in the ground and then you’ll save money, save your business from embarrassment, and save your employee from wanting to throw himself/herself in front of a moving vehicle.

Why do I constantly have to tell the world how it can improve itself? These are simple solutions to dumb problems.

Can you think of any unnecessary jobs?

Advertisements: Yea or Nay?

I’ve noticed that some folks around the blogosphere have added ads to their pages. I need a little help deciding whether or not to take the advertisement plunge. Lets weigh out some pros and cons, shall we?

The Look. Okay yikes yikes yikes. Advertisements are so fugs. I like the fact that my blog is streamlined–you come for Lily in Canada, and that’s what you get! I hate when I click on a blog and it’s covered in ads. BUT I heard that you can choose the placement, so maybe I could hide them. But then I guess you wouldn’t want to hide them because you need people to click on them. So I’m at a bit of a standstill here.

The Embarrassment Level. What if one of my ads is for penis enlargements or some kind of mail order bride thing? I don’t want my viewers looking at such distasteful things. Plus it might remind my mom of Las Vegas and that would cause her to burst into tears. So like, I can’t really risk that, can I?

The $$$. Cash money baby. I’m totes in favor of making a little extra spending money. Especially since I don’t have a job. I’ve heard different things from different people though. I’ve heard that the amount is really insignificant. But from others I’ve heard that you can make anywhere from $30-$100 a week! And I would be super pleased with that.

So what’s the dealio? How do we feel about them? Yea or nay? Share your stories and experiences with me. I need to know the deets!

Final Note: I originally spelled it “yay or nay” because I’m mildly retarded.

Men vs. Women: Learning How To Speak

I make a lot of observations when I volunteer. There’s not much else to do besides that. I mean, I could try actually selling things to people, but I’d rather not expend that much energy.

I remember in my high school Sociology class, one of my peers mentioned to us that during his time off of work, he’d sit at a table and just observe people and take notes. I don’t think he had a lot of friends. Everyone was super creeped out after he said that. Looking back, I guess he was just being artsy and had a real interest in people. Or maybe he’s just a future murderer.

ANYWAY. I volunteer in a gift shop so I end up asking people how they’re doing or if they need help with anything. I always make sure that I check in with them when they first enter, even if it’s just saying, “Hi, how are you?”

Time and time again I find that women are more animated and enthusiastic in their response. They might even offer up a bit of information like, “The weather is gorgeous!” or “I’m visiting from Washington!” or something of the like. Of course, not all women are like this. Some are colder and just say “Hi” or “Thanks.”

But men are so different and weird. Most won’t even make eye contact. They seem shameful and keep to themselves. If they respond, it’s so quiet and short. Often they’ll just nod in hopes that I’ll move away from them. Although, there are some men that are jovial and ready to crack a joke. These men though, are ALWAYS accompanied by their wives.

So what can we learn from this unofficial study in human behavior? I’m definitely not coming from a feminist stand point, but if I have to come to one conclusion, it’s: Men are from Mars and women are from a place where everyone is normal and loving.