Things I Actually Enjoy Aboot Canada

No one in my town says “aboot” but I love saying it and typing it and I just felt like it needed to be in my title. I’m sure there are some Canadians around that say aboot, so this one is for them. And Ross Murray because he’s won’t shut up aboot it already.

I’ve now resided in Victoria, B.C. for over two years which has enabled me to accurately judge the people, places, and things surrounding me. It turns out that the more I live in one place, the more I end up liking it. I now have a strange and dare I say, loving relationship with my little neck of Canada. Here’s why:

It’s Beautiful. I have trouble saying that because I don’t like calling things beautiful unless it’s my own reflection. These are the jokes, people. But Canada has really upped the ante. I live by the mountains and the ocean (the ocean is unswimmable (not a word) throughout the entire year, so that’s a major drawback, but at least there’s water to look at) and they make a pretty good combo. There are a lot of trees left here (mainly because Canada is still extremely uninhabited) and a lot of cute wildlife. And no roadkill! Where I come from there is roadkill everywhere! There are literally deer everywhere here and yet none of them are “sleeping” on the roadside. Bravo, Canada!

The People are Friendly. At first I didn’t think this was true. I thought that they were the same as Americans and that they were just making up the whole “friendly, nice Canadians” business to lure in unsuspecting tourists. But no, they’re friendly and kind to each other. And they’ve accepted me into their country, almost. If only I could get legal status, then I would really be livin’ the life.

Their Money. It’s colorful, bits of it are clear, and they got rid of the penny. These people know what they’re doing. Greenbacks are all fine and dandy, but we need to rid ourselves of the penny once and for all. I’m “sorey” to say but we need to follow Canada’s lead on this one.

Their Willingness to Laugh. A lot of the Canadians that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting have been super cheeseball. But I have to hand it to them–they’re ready to laugh at any time. They want to laugh! These are my people. I just have to spend some time refining their senses of humor. Not everyone is cheesy, but almost every single person.

They Have At Least One Dumb Politician. Yay! We’re not the only ones with embarrassing political figures! Rob Ford, we welcome you with open arms. As long as you stay in Toronto and keep embarrassing your countrymen.

Chapters/Indigo Bookstores. Man, I never thought I could love a bookstore so much. Like, I seriously have a love affair with this place. The outside is grungy, but the inside is magical. They sell books of course, but they also sell home goods, jewelry, bags, accessories, seasonal goods, candles, and of course, Starbucks. Barnes and Noble, TAKE NOTE.

Pubs. Canadians take their drinking rather seriously. But not seriously enough to sell alcohol in their grocery stores. Ever since moving here, I’ve been impressed with the amount of adorable pubs that this country has to offer. I don’t even drink, but I like to have a comfortable place to watch my friends drink. Not some smelly old bar.

Their History. Canada definitely knows how to make attractive legislative and Parliamentary buildings. The one in my town is pretty schweet. Other buildings around town lack updates, but it’s kind of cool to see that some of the structures in Victoria are still standing since their erection (tee hee) in the early 1900’s. Also, I think it’s adorbs that Canada didn’t gain it’s independence until 1982. And on top of that, I have to give them props for all that they’ve done for their First Nations (AKA Native Americans) communities. They take care of them and are reverent towards their history far more than Americans have ever been. But that’s not saying much.

Tim Hortons. I used to think Dunkin’ Donuts was the best place to grab a sweet treat, but I have learned to love Tim Hortons and their cheap breakfast selection. Getting a bagel with cream cheese and a coffee is cheaper than my drink order at Starbucks. Tim Hortons has a special place in my heart now.

One last thing, go check out my 5×5 interview over at You’ve Been Hooked! The Hook is a Canadian fellow who has made my new life a little lot happier! He is extremely entertaining and stumbles into hilarious situations during his job as a bellman. Go take a look!

Music Review: Japandroids

I was lucky enough to get tickets to a Japandroids concert last month here in my new hometown of Victoria, B.C. My little slice of Canada doesn’t get too many good shows, but Japandroids are from Vancouver so adding Victoria to their tour probably just felt right. And I, for one, am thankful that they came here.

I hadn’t been to a rock concert in a long time. I was kind of psyched to dance to fast-paced songs all night and get knocked around a bit. My husband and I somehow managed to get in the front row, right behind the barricade so we were involved in all the concert action. There was lots of moshing–our friend even lost his glasses in the pit. Super hard core.

The ‘droids have two studio albums and one compilation album. Their most recent album, Celebration Rock, is the one that I’m the most familiar with. However, they played songs off of all their albums that night and I’m pretty sure they played their two studio albums in full.

Some of my favorite tracks from Celebration Rock are “The House That Heaven Built”, “Fire’s Highway”, and “Adrenaline Nightshift”. Their lyrics are fun to shout and super great if you’re looking for new tunes for your workouts. My favorite lyrics would have to be from “The House That Heaven Built” that say “When they love you and they will, Tell them all, they’ll love in my shadow, And if they try to slow you down, Tell them all, to go to hell.”

Surprisingly, the group is made up of only two people. For all the sound that they make, it’s impressive to think that there are only two instruments played by two vocalists. The duo put on a great and entertaining show that kept everyone on their toes. They asked the audience to go as crazy as possible and I could see the guards rolling their eyes.  There was a lot of crowd surfing, people running on stage, and many a beer sprayed. Insanity ensued.

I would totally suggest seeing Japandroids if they come to a city near you. I had an awesome night and would definitely see them again.

Saving the World

Okay, that’s a little dramatic. I’m not saving the world. But I’m definitely saving Victoria’s ass big time. I’ve already helped people in need thrice this week. Do I need to purchase a cape or what?

A couple of days ago I was shopping in Walmart (gross, I know). I chose an express line and the old man in front of me kept turning around and staring at me. Assuming it was just another Walmart psycho, I chose to ignore him and put my sausages, peppers, carrots, and hummus (the essentials) on the conveyor belt.

When the guy in front of me turned around to face the cashier, I noticed that he had a packet of cheese in his back pocket. Like, an $8 block of cheese. He was completely rung up and about to pay when I tapped him on the shoulder and said “Don’t forget the cheese in your pocket!” He reached back, laughed and pulled it out and paid for it.

Afterwards the cashier was about to kiss my feet or something, she was so grateful. The best part was when I reached down to grab my groceries, I saw that the man in front of me forgot his other bag to which the cashier said, “Karma!” He must have been very flustered.

*There was originally part of me that thought he might have forgotten the cheese and wasn’t trying to steal it but then I realized, who would put cheese into their back pocket instead of into their cart with the rest of their food? I also thought he was going to beat me up in the parking lot or follow me home so I laced my keys between my finger and took a weird route home. The things I do in order to stop thievery.

The next day I was walking downtown when two Asian tourists flagged me down. They were holding their luggage and looking super confused. They had a map with their hotel circled on it and asked if I knew where it was in broken English. I said yes, and gave them directions but since I was walking that way anyway, I told them to follow me and I would take them there.

I had a little chat with them and found out they were coming from California and just visiting for pleasure. They said the city was very beautiful (even though it was a little cloudy) which was cute. All in all they were super grateful that I was able to guide them to their destination. Just doing my civic duty.

On the same day, as I was walking home, a biker stopped and asked me for directions and I pointed him in the right way. Not a super big deal, but if it wasn’t for me he probably would’ve gotten lost and died. So what I’m trying to say is that Victoria needs to erect a statue of me pronto.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

I have been having a ball “witch hunting” recently. Oh, what? You don’t witch hunt? Well, I’ve always had a thing for history and learning about different religions, cultures, and societies both ancient and modern. When I was in university I took a Women in History class and there was a segment on witches that I fell in love with.

The idea of witches/Wiccans/Satanists has been around since the biblical ages. Many scripts warn people of witches or those who practice Black Magic and say that any act of that sort is punishable by death. In early Europe though, especially in the UK and Ireland, peeps got a little carried away with this instruction causing tens of thousands of executions. It was especially scary if you happened to be born a woman and did anything out of the ordinary. Depending on how harsh your fellow townspeople were, you could be in danger of being called a witch if you had red hair or laughed in public. Or even if you were widowed.

This kind of behavior made it easy for men and women alike to accuse almost anyone of being Satan’s mistress. Often times if a fellow member of society didn’t like someone, they could say something like, “When she looked at me, her eyes pierced through my soul!” and bam–they were a considered a witch. It was a game of one person’s word against another’s.

Most people know how these medieval communities would judge if someone was a witch. It was pretty gruesome. Basically, the belief was, if you were a practicing witch, you wouldn’t be able to feel any pain or at least wouldn’t be capable of showing that you were hurt. It was also believed that witches couldn’t drown, so of course the easiest way to test this would be to hold suspects under water and if they drowned–congrats! They weren’t a witch! And if they didn’t, they would be put to death. A win/win really.

That’s not to say all women accused of such crimes weren’t practicing witchcraft. Some were. There have been accounts (some true, most probably false) of covens or circles of women that would meet in the forest at night, naked, sacrificing animals or even dead human children to Satan. Spooky stuff. There were also a handful of women who confessed to being witches in early modern Europe.

Most witches, but not all, had a vast knowledge about nature and the human body. Midwives who tried different techniques for removing children from their mother’s womb had to be careful not to be accused of magik. Same with those who had a keen sense of herbs, spices, and anything from the apothecary. This seems stereotypical but many witches, even today’s modern Wiccans have a profound knowledge of such things, as well as crystals, stones, and many animal and insect species.

Of course the scare of witches has moved all around the world. One of the biggest, most common hunts was in Salem, Massachusetts from 1692-93. This was a particularly popular case because there was mass hysteria and the public actually held court room trials about it.

You wouldn’t believe my excitement when I started to research witches/Wiccans in Victoria, B.C. (where I live now) and the results showed that it held, at one point, the highest population of witches in North America. Of course I quickly grabbed my purse and ran out the door to find out more about the topic. I went to a used book store and found their Wicca/witchcraft/occult section. I was looking more for a history of witches in B.C., but only found a lot of how-to books. Which were still amazingly cool.

I asked about a book that is out of print called Michelle Remembers. Every time I asked about it, people gave me a weird look and smile like, “Ohh you’re into that stuff?” Apparently this book is the maybe-true-maybe-false story of a girl who lived in Victoria that had insane night terrors to the point where she would find herself  awake and screaming. She visited a psychologist who used hypnosis to find out the root of her problem. Apparently when she was younger, she was abused in satanic rituals. Super creepy. The book is out of print and impossible to find. But I’m on a waiting list for it. My husband of course has not only read it, but also been to the house where she lived. It’s been knocked down but the address numbers used to be 666. Spooooky! I feel like I’m telling ghost stories right now.

On my journey I visited a couple stores that focus on the metaphysical world. Both had a wide selection of books, but none on the history of witchcraft in general or in Victoria. And both had many crystals for sale. Recently I purchased a quartz crystal pendant, which not only looks chic, but also gives me power, energy, and clarity. Jus’ sayin’!

I was super intrigued when I visited a store in Fan Tan Alley (a 4 foot-wide alleyway downtown that people used to visit during the 19th century to illegally gamble, drink, and do other things…) called Triple Spiral where I talked to a woman about classes that I could take to learn about witchcraft/Wicca/occult magik. You even get to create your own spells and rituals! So cray cray. I guess it’s taught by some of the high priestesses in town and is supposed to be a great series of classes. It’s out of my price range though. How cool is it that they offer that kind of thing?

Lastly, here are some ways you can add a touch of witchy wonder to your drab, everyday life:

Listen to:

“Rihannon” by Fleetwood Mac

“Season of the Witch” by Donovan

“Wicked Annabella” by The Kinks

“Black Magic Woman” by Santana

“Witchy Woman” by The Eagles

“Wicked Witch” by Lene Lovich

“A Witch’s Promise” by Jethro Tull

Read:

The Crucible by Arthur Miller

Michelle Remembers by Michelle Smith and Lawrence Pazder

The Witch Hunt in Early Modern Europe by Brian P. Levack

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft by Denise Zimmerman

The Crystal Bible by Judy Hall

Apply:

Wicked nail polish by Essie

Black Shatter nail polish by OPI

Magic Spell Juicy Tube by Lancome

Ceridwen’s Cauldron bath melt by Lush

Magic Ink liquid eyeliner by Benefit

Watch:

The Witches (1990)

Practical Magic (1998)

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

American Horror Story: The Coven (FX 2013)

Watch Ironically:

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Harry Potter (2001)

Theater:

Wicked: The Untold Story of the Witches of Oz

Macbeth by William Shakespeare

Eat/Drink/Smoke:

Soups

Tea

Poison (or regular) apples

Spices

Clove cigarettes

Wear:

Crystal pendants

Vintage Rings

Lots o’ black

Lace-up boots

Long billowy skirts or dresses

Opium by Yves Saint Laurent

Midnight Poison by Dior

Visit:

Cemetaries

Underground tunnels

Ghost Tours

The Naked Bike Ride

Yesterday, I was just minding my own business at Starbucks when I heard some ruckus down the road. Before my brain could process what was happening, I thought to myself, “Hey those bike riders look like they’re naked.” And hey, guess what? They were.

I witnessed The Naked Bike Ride. I wasn’t prepared to see floppy boobs and small penises during my Starbucks outing, but I guess it was my lucky day. There was even someone ballsy enough to roller-blade (yay?). My husband and the rest of the Starbucks diners were laughing and giggling and Paul leaned over and said to me, “Only in Victoria.”

Naked Bike Ride Victoria

Turns out Victoria wasn’t the only lucky spot in the world. The Naked Bike Ride occurred all over the place! Cities throughout North America and Europe have participated in the Naked Bike Ride. Riders decorate their bodies with paint and other materials, or just go naked. Personally, I think riding a bike with clothes on is painful enough around the groin area, so why would anyone want to subject themselves to the harsh seats of bikes without any protection?

Because they want to be noticed, of course! The Naked Bike Ride isn’t just for shits and gigs (at least, lets hope shits aren’t involved). They’re around to raise awareness for various causes. I think the first bike ride took place in British Columbia in 2003 where the riders simply rode for peace. The ride this year was to protest against oil dependency and in favor of sustainable transportation.

I’m not a big awareness gal. Like, if people try to stop me on the sidewalk to talk about random causes where they need my support and money, all of a sudden I’m “in a huge rush!” The only thing I really care about is helping animals. That being said, I totes respect the naked riders because I definitely couldn’t do that. A lot of the girls were wearing undies though. Why were the men so eager to get naked but the women will only go halfway. Go big or go home, right?

Did you see any naked riders in your neck of the woods? Were you scarred for life or did you love it?

You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown: A Review

Last Friday I went to a university production of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, expecting a great performance. I had never seen the musical before, but my dad played Snoopy in his hay day which is super embarrassing but I figured that I would be in for a good show. I guess I forgot that I’m in Canada and people are bad at everything here.

I don’t know a lot about the performing arts, but I know when a show is bad and when a show is good. I know what over acting looks like and I know how to spot lazy props and backdrops. College students should be at the point where they don’t come off as annoying or pretentious thespians on stage. They need to be able to morph into a character. If you cannot do this simple task by the time you’re graduating college, there’s really no hope for you. Sorry, but it’s true. I’m not saying that I know everything about acting, but yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

From the minute that I heard the actors fake voices, I knew it was going to be a long show. It just seemed so forced. The girl who played Charlie Brown’s sister, Sally, put on a voice that made me cringe. It wasn’t charming or funny at all. If I were her, I would’ve studied the old TV specials and mimicked the voices that they used. If that’s what this actress was trying to do, she failed miserably. She put on this high pitched, pinched nose voice which didn’t resemble that Sally that I know whatsoever. So congrats on being a terrible actress. She did have a good singing voice though. That was her redeeming factor.

Note to the costume designer: Sally does not have a full head of curly hair. She has poofy bangs and wears light blue, not bright pink. Good job on messing that up and distracting me. You’re fired.

The girl who played Lucy was a much better actress than anyone else there. That being said, her part didn’t require much. She also put on a weird voice, but not as awful as Sally’s. I don’t know if they had a meeting where they tried to teach the girls how to enunciate and taught them to get the audience’s attention by putting on crazy voices, but that’s what it seemed like. I could imagine them having a voice coach saying, “Very good, but try to be more annoying if possible.”

I’m going to include one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies because that’s what I’d like to think their voice coaching would be like. Bursting into choreographed dancing and everything.

The guy who played Schroeder was really good. He had good comedic timing. However, he wasn’t a big character and he didn’t have a lot to do. At least his outfit was identical to his character’s and his voice was normal. Snaps for Schroeder.

Peppermint Patty was fine. She was barely in the show at all. Why include her and not Marcie? It would’ve been cute to see Marcie and Patty’s young lesbo relationship. I do like the fact that Patty calls Charlie Brown “Chuck”. I just wanted Marcie to be around to address Patty as “Sir”.

Linus and Charlie Brown were below par. First of all, the guy playing Linus was chunky. Like, chunky in a way that you couldn’t look past it or focus on his character. Linus shouldn’t be chunky. He’s like 7 years old. In the show they said that they were 5 years old but I don’t believe that because they were writing book reports and no 5 year old can write their own name, let alone a book report.

Charlie Brown was okay but his vocals weren’t that good. He could’ve been stronger on that department. Other than that, he played Charlie Brown pretty well. He seemed terminally depressed, so he was either really into his character, or actually severely depressed.

Snoopy was probably the best part of the show. I guess they have to save their best actor for Snoopy because he has the best songs and has to balance on top of a dog house most of the time. Snoopy was definitely entertaining so I would give him two thumbs up…or two paws up! I don’t know…I hate myself.

The set design was actually pretty good. All the props looked exactly how they appeared on the show so I was happy that they got at least one thing right.

I guess I’m just used to living in the states where we spend lots of money on theater departments. Like, no joke my high school performances were better than this university production. Talent wise, costume wise, production quality and value wise. Whenever I say anything like this, my husband likes to point out that maybe that’s why the US has no money–because we spend it on dumb things. And maybe he’s right. But at least we have high quality entertainment.

 

Movin’ On Up

Ever since I moved here, Canada has really tried to step up their game for me. They’ve added H&M, Forever 21 (not that I shop there, it’s just comforting to know it’s around), and in Spring 2013 Target will finally arrive. How has Canada survived this whole time without Target, you ask? Well, they haven’t. No one takes them seriously as a country, but maybe with Target on the horizon, things will start to improve.

My little slice of Canada is slightly behind the times. Toronto’s Target is already open for business. And they also have rumors of getting a Nordstrom soon. Lucky bastards.

The first Target to open in Canada was the Guelph, Ontario location. The first customers to make purchases were two scruffy guys. They made a mockery of Target by purchasing things that no one would need to buy: a Michael Bolton CD and a Tarzan DVD. Yes, you read correctly.

Don’t get me wrong, Target is the place where bad purchases are born and where money vanishes from your account. I’ve walked into Target for a notebook and come out with shoes, a board game, gummy bears, 5 lb weights, and nail polish only to realize that I never got my notebook. So trust me, I KNOW.

These guys have made headlines: “Target’s first two customers shop ironically.” They probably thought they were being hilarious. This is super embarrassing for Canada. Do you see how cheesy people are here? I can’t deal. I for one, will treat my Target location with the respect it deserves.

At least I’ll be safe here if the US gets nuked. Bonus. Oh and I don’t  have to deal with pennies anymore. Silver lining.

Ska Fest

Last night I ended up going to Ska Fest with Paul and a couple of friends. Ska Fest is exactly what it sounds like–a fest of ska music. I wouldn’t say I listen to ska often, I like a lot of new wave music, and I would say that ska falls under that category, but I’ve never thought, Hmm I really feel like listening to ska right now.

We saw Blitz the Ambassador perform. Never heard of them? Yeah me either, but it was actually really good and fun to dance to. I was pleasantly surprised because I’m one of those people who goes to concerts to listen to music they already know. I don’t like discovering new bands live. For some reason I reserve live shows for bands that I love and respect. But it’s weird because every time I end up going to a show of a group that I’ve never heard of, I fall in love with them.

Blitz the Ambassador

The best part, as per usual was the crowd. So many judgments were made! It was hard for me to concentrate because my head was spinning in the midst of all the freak shows!

First of all, you know how concerts always smell like booze, cigarettes, and sweat? This place reeked of weed and the worst B.O. I’ve ever smelled. And we were OUTSIDE. You would think all of the odors would be carried away by the breeze, but nope. It was a cloud of smelly pot. But I could look past it because everyone was having so much fun.

80% of the crowd was sporting dreadlocks. It reminded me of high school. I think I would get frustrated having my hair being a tangled, matted mess. BUT it would be nice because you could use them as a pillow. I bet people who have dreads sleep really well because they have double the head-padding. Double the pleasure, double the fun.

I distinctly remember this one girl who was kind of off to the side of the general audience and she was dancing like no one was watching. And I don’t think anyone besides me was watching. I was transfixed. She literally stretched out before the band started playing. Whenever she would turn her head, her gigantic earrings would come around a whip her in the face. She had no shoes on so her feet were black. So beautiful. She was like the Black Swan of Ska Fest.

Overall, Victoria’s 13th Annual Ska Fest was a success (for me, anyway). I’m glad I went! Next week is Victoria Buskers Festival…so expect a blog on street performers and how creepy they are!

Canada Day!

I just wrote an immensely awesome post about Canada Day and WordPress somehow erased it. Usually WP is really great about auto-saving, but this time they failed. Instead of writing about Canada Day, I’m going to write about how WordPress owes me big time. They can pay me back in Freshly Pressing all of my posts from here on out.  Jk I’ll write about Canada Day. But I’m not jk-ing about being Freshly Pressed.

While all of you are being distracted by the recent American tragedies (the death of TomKat and Adele’s pregnancy announcement), the Canadians are celebrating. Celebrating what?, you might ask. That’s a good question. You should Google it. Any time you ask a question you should Google it. Asking questions is SO 90’s.

Canada Day is basically Canada’s Independence Day. Like their 4th of July, but except it’s on the 1st of July and full of Canadian pride. On this day in 1867, the British North America Act (aka the Constitution Act) was signed, uniting 3 colonies into a single country called The Dominion of Canada. This is great and all, but they were still under British rule in a way. Like, if they wanted to pass a law or anything, they had to go through Parliament. Cray cray, right?! In 1982 (aka 30 years ago aka lol) the Canada Act was passed which made Canada a distinguished, sovereign land. No more “Dominion of”, just plain old Canada. Yipee!

This was my first time ever celebrating Canada Day. I didn’t want to admit to myself what a great time I was having. I was part of a human flag! Do you know what that is? It’s pretty self explanatory, but I imagine all of my readers to be complete idiots. Here’s a picture of what I was a part of.

Isn’t that cool? Aren’t you jealous? I was in the Maple Leaf part of the flag. That’s the best part. Who wants to be the boring old white part? Or the red stripes on the side? The Canadian flag is a pretty lazy design when you think of it. Obviously not as lazy as say, the Japanese flag, but you catch my drift.

After that we meandered down to the food pavilion. Mainly because I kept talking about how hungry I was. There were a series of food tents of all different ethnic delicacies. Of course Paul and I opted for the Jewish Community Center’s stand. We each got a huge kosher hot dog. We were eying the blintzes, but we didn’t want to be complete fatties, so we walked away. Quietly sobbing to ourselves.

Later on we had a BBQ and played with our friend’s kids and dog. I’m forever entertained by dogs. They never get old. Well, technically they DO get old, but you know what I mean.

Speaking of things that don’t get old–the fireworks at night were awesome. How are fireworks so cool? It’s literally fire being shot into the sky. We see them at least once a year, yet they are always awesome. They were displayed over the harbor and everyone around us was drunk and singing O Canada. It was a night to remember for sure.

Thanks, Canada. Here’s to many more Canada Days to come!

The Tweed Ride

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. About two weeks ago Paul and I were walking downtown. We were about to cross the street when a string of bicyclers soared in front of us. Typically I would have thrown my purse in the road hoping to trip all of them using a domino effect. But this time I was too transfixed to even attempt to cross, never mind cause them to crash.

All of the riders were casually biking, not racing. And they were dressed in what seemed to be 1920’s and 30’s British attire. All of the outfits looked so authentic. Not a bad one in sight, really. And everyone had a bit of tweed incorporated into their outfit as well.

I was really intrigued, watching them go by. I felt like I was on the set of a movie. Some people had their children on the back of their bikes and they were dressed up too! So much detail. One of the best bikers actually had a penny-farthing. I don’t know how he found it, but he looked awesome.

Yeeeah. I decided to find a picture because I know none of you knuckle-heads knew what I was talking about.

I guess the Tweed Ride started in London in 2009 and has been picked up throughout the world. It’s described as “a cosmopolitan ride with a bit of style.” Righto.

Usually I wouldn’t be interested in an activity that included exercise and public appearances. But for some reason I want to participate in it next year. I’ll have to start looking for an outfit. And a bike.

Congratulations Canada. This is the first cool thing I’ve seen in a while. Massive props.

Everyone in this video is super annoying and British, but you get the picture.