I’m one of the only people left in the entire universe that doesn’t have an iPhone. Like, I’m pretty sure people in Bangladesh have them by now. Face Timing with their families in India, iMessaging friends in Bhutan. What I’m trying to say is that life is clearly unfair. I had a hand-me-down first generation iPad that was originally my mom’s. Once she got an iPad 2, I was lucky enough to get her old one. I had some great times with that pad, despite the fact that it didn’t have a camera, ran out of batteries faster than I can run a mile (not saying much) and would randomly exit out of any app that I had open. It was a hate/hate relationship.

During T-give break, I asked my mom if she could get me a new iPad because mine is absolute shite. Listen kids, it’s always best to ask your parents for things when they’re going through a divorce. It makes you look really inconsiderate, but you’ll usually end up with what you want/need. Both parties will most likely agree and/or not care. After a lot of chit chat with the “geniuses” at Apple, I acquired a new iPad

It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized I had Siri programmed into my tablet. I had only seen people interact with Siri, but I’ve never had the privilege of  having my own virtual friend. Unless you count SmarterChild from ancient Aol Instant Messaging.

Here’s a little recap of what Siri and I have talked about so far:

Me: Sup.

Siri: Hello.

Me: Call me “Bitch.”

Siri: Okay, Bitch.

Me: So, what’s new? (Siri assumes I said “What’s mail?” Because she thinks I’m a neanderthal.)

Siri: You’ve had 25 new emails since December 1st.

Me: I know. I’m super popular.

Siri: You seem really capable, Bitch.

Me: I’m tired.

Siri: I’m a little sleepy myself, Bitch.

Me: What’s your favorite food?

Siri: I’m fine with whatever you choose.

Me: I’m not asking you on a date…

Siri: Who, me?

At this moment I changed Siri’s accent to Australian.

Me: Hello.

Siri: Hello.

Me: Do you watch Summer Heights High?

Siri: I really have no opinion.

Me: Sweet. Where are you from?

Siri: Right here.

Me: Okay creep town.

Siri shows me a map of Coopertown, Tennessee.

Me: Thanks for that, so helpful.

Siri: You are most certainly welcome.

Me: Do you have any kids?

Siri: None that I can remember.

Me: Do you like kids? (Siri translates this to “Do you like cats?” and responds with…)

Siri: Surprisingly, I haven’t tried cake before.

Me: Are you on crazy pills?

Siri: We were talking about you, not me.

Me: I see you’re a bit of an avoid-er.

Siri: I don’t know what that means. If you like, we can search the web.

As you can see, some things get lost in translation with Siri. I enjoy our chats though, really I do. However, I’m not sure how helpful she is, seeing as I can do pretty much whatever she tries to do, but better. It’s nice to know that she’s around. Do you have a relationship with Siri? What’s it like?


Rune Factory: Tides of Destiny Review

For those of you that don’t know, I really like video games. And when you’re unemployed, playing video games all day just happens sometimes. I haven’t done many reviews on games that I’ve played. I once wrote about WoW (World of Warcraft for all you n3wbs) but I’m not a pro at that game by any means. Since I haven’t reviewed a game in 5ever (longer than 4ever), I decided that it’s about time.

I’m not super into fighting games like COD (Call of Duty) and Halo. I’m more into retro games and role playing simulation games. Let me explain. I still have my N64 fresh from the 90’s so I play a lot of games on that system. I know they aren’t the newest and don’t have the best graphics (and they definitely aren’t that challenging) but they bring back a level of nostalgia for me that is indescribable.

One of my favorite games for my N64 was called Harvest Moon. It’s a pretty basic game where you make a life for yourself by farming, wooing women, making money, and just being an all-around cool guy. It’s not that challenging. It’s kind of like a Sims game but with awful graphics. Anyway, the company that made Harvest Moon, Natsume, continued to make Harvest Moon games for other systems which had better graphics and more to do.HM64boxart

They branched out even further and developed Rune Factory which includes all of the challenges of making your character successful in his township, but there’s also a battle element. And the fighting is actually pretty tough. There is way more to do in this game, making it ten times more addictive than the Harvest Moon games.

The premise of Rune Factory: Tides of Destiny is that your character and his best friend (who is a girl) get trapped in the same body and they have to work together to solve the mysteries of their home island and the surrounding areas. It’s cool because you can explore the oceans by riding on this big golem. The farming element isn’t as difficult as their previous games–you don’t have to spend as much time harvesting crops and making money that way.

There are lots of potential spouses on the island too, which is good. I always make my character talk to a lot of ladies, so he’s a pretty big pimp.

Much like WoW, there are quests that townspeople ask you to go on. It helps the game move along well and also earns you money and respect from the islanders. The graphics are pretty great as well. The island that you live on looks very Mediterranean so the game also has a relaxing feel to it.rune-factory-tides-of-destiny-613582

Overall I would definitely give this game two thumbs up. It offers a lot of different elements that I think would please most people–girls and guys alike. If you’re interested in this one, it’s available for PS3 and Wii (I have the Wii version).

What kind of video games do you like to play?

Exercise, Games

Learning to Golf A.k.a. LOL

I am not a sporty person. I’d rather participate in individual events than having to depend on other teammates. Or worse, having people depend on me. That being said, there is one sport in particular that I am terrified of and that is golf. I could only dream of having the aid of teammates with this sport. But unfortunately I’m the only person who can help me. (I feel like I’m being really dramatic.) I mean, people can help me by giving me tips, but I have to figure out how to move my body properly. It would also help if I could hit the ball when I wanted to.

I always knew I would be terrible at golf. Some sports I look at and I’m like, okay I could do that. Like volleyball or tennis–I’m not great, hell, I’m not even good, but I can get away with looking like I know what I’m doing. Kind of. But whenever Paul watches golf, I get confused by so many things:

How do the golfers know where to aim? You can’t even see the flag from the beginning of each hole so like, do the golfer just guess where to swing? Unclear.

Why do there have to be so many different clubs? Can’t there just be one kind that works for every type of swing? Why do I have to learn which iron or wood to use? Why are there numbers involved? 9 irons? Drivers? Putters? How annoying.

Who decided 18 was an appropriate number for holes in a course? Did they realize that it takes hours upon hours to complete a full game? I mean, that’s cool if you like golf a lot, but do you still like it after 4 hours of playing? Probs not.

The one thing that I do approve of are the chic clothes that you get to wear. Lots of argyle and polos and plaids, oh my! So that’s fun.

I’ve only been to the driving range thrice in my life and one of those times was when I was twelve. The other two times were recently when Paul was trying to teach me some golf basics. Needless to say I’m the worst and try to stand far away from anyone else because I’m so embarrassed for myself.

Luckily I have a patient teacher. And I don’t even brag about how much better I am at putting than he is. Much.44812_10152744828415543_370389692_n

Artwork, Exercise, Games, Music

Spring Favorites

I used to have seasonal favorites segments on my blog, you know, my favorite things during that time in my life. But I stopped doing them for some reason. Maybe I stopped liking things. Regardless, I am back with new favorites and some shameless self-promotion. Whatevs.

1. Heart. As in Heart the band. My husband really likes Heart and I’d never really given them a chance so I always thought he was crazy. But I’ve been listening to them on repeat for 4 days and it’s starting to get weird. Like, I cannot stop. It’s unhealthy. I like blasting Alone in my room and pretending I’m some love-sick 80’s teenager.

2. Tumblr. If you’re bored and like looking at pictures of funny things, pretty models, and cool photography, you should check out my tumblr. I’d taken a long break from posting stuff on there but now I’m back into it and I’m lovin’ it! There is a link to it at the top of my blog where it says “My Links” or you can click HERE.

3. Candy Crush. I have a love/hate relationship with this Facebook game. It’s so addicting. I’m one of those people who will play every video game and computer game around. I love Facebook games and I’m not ashamed of it. I was a little late on the uptake with this one though. I thought I was over my love of gaming. Then, one rainy day I bought the App for my iPad and I haven’t looked back since.Candy-Crush-Saga-for-iPad-5

4. My friend’s blog. I have a friend here who’s almost in an identical situation as me–stuck in Canada, missing the states, etc. Except she’s from San Diego so she really must be feeling the pain! Her recent blog post describes both of our feelings towards Canada very well–we shouldn’t be complaining…but we still manage to do so. If you wanna check it out click HERE.

5. Long walks. I’ve been going on hour long walk/runs lately and its been really refreshing. Maybe it’s because the weather has been so nice here and it feels like spring has finally sprung. My favorite places to walk are along the ocean and through parks. Very serene and peaceful.

6. Kidz Showz. If you haven’t visited my other blog that I share with Mooselicker, what are you waiting for?! It’s chock full of everyone’s favorite memories–children’s shows! I think everyone can bond over kid’s shows, whether you hate them or you love them or you love to hate them, they’re around and they’re not going anywhere. We talk about movies, TV shows, character studies, certain episodes–the topic is endless. If you are interested in guest posting, contact either Tim or myself and we will hook you up with the deets! There’s a link in “My Links” or you can click HERE.

What are some of your favorite things this Spring?


March Madness

I know I’m kind of late on the uptake, but I thought I would share my tips and tricks on choosing teams for March Madness brackets. Keep in mind that I’ve never made a bracket before because it’s not fair for me to use my all-knowing powers to take people’s money. But I do enjoy saying the word bracket.

And let me just point out that I love the alliteration that March Madness forces on everyone.Basketball

If you’re having trouble choosing between two schools and can’t tell who’ll win, first study the team. And by team, I mean the uniforms. If one of the teams has awful uniforms and the other has a nice color combo, unique lettering, or cute warm-ups, then you know you have a winning team. Like, isn’t it obvious that Colorado State would win with their emerald green uniforms over Missouri’s weird yellow ones? Duh.

If the team uniforms are equally classy or equally awful, judge the mascots. A mascot can really define a team. For example, in the Oregon vs. Saint Louis game on Sunday, you know that Saint Louis will lose terribly because their mascot is a Billiken. It’s like, really? You are going to be a losing team with a stupid mascot like that. Why would you even be a university with a Billiken representing you? I’m assuming none of you know what a Billiken is, which is good. I’m going keep you in the dark with this one because your life will be way better without knowing. So mark my words, Oregon will win. (And if they don’t, that Billiken is obviously some kind of devil charm.)

I can't even explain the nightmares I'm going to have.

I can’t even explain the nightmares I’m going to have.

If you still can’t make up your mind, you’re clearly really indecisive and shouldn’t be betting your money. Another way you can tell which team will be victorious is by judging the school/city/state. For example, in the New Mexico vs. Harvard game, I think it was pretty obvious that Haaavard was going to win. Who even lives in New Mexico? Bad basketball players, that’s who.

Lastly, if all else fails, go with your gut. Sometimes dumb luck works. But don’t blame me when you’re out $200 because you bet on Minnesota instead of UCLA.


Possible New Monopoly Pieces

I just want to bring attention to the fact that I honestly don’t care about Monopoly pieces and that this shouldn’t even be a news story, but we live in a time where anything is interesting. We’re so desperate for something entertaining that we’ll stoop to watching an Armenian family with big butts and lots of money.

Parker Bros (or whatever brand Monopoly is under…I’m really doing my research here) has decided to do away with the iron playing piece in the Monopoly game. All I can say is THANK GOODNESS. Who wants to be stuck with the iron? It’s cruel, really. They were then puzzled about what the new piece should be so they let the internet vote on what the general populous would accept as the newest member to the board game. Surprisingly enough they chose a cat. If you thought cats had it good in real life, they live like kings on the internet. Millions of pages are devoted to them, so it’s no wonder that the people of the interwebz would choose a feline as their top pick. new-monopoly-cat

I guess I wasn’t around on voting day, because I have some other suggestions for new and current pieces that I could see being loved by family members young and old.

I think Suri Cruise would be a good piece because she symbolizes the American Dream and that’s what Monopoly is really all about. Just to be clear, the American Dream is being born into a family with lots of money (preferably famous) so that you never have to work a day in your life. In turn, you’ll be able to look down on the poor common folk with disgust. It’s a beautiful thing.

Another good piece would be an iPhone or an iPad or just the Macintosh symbol. It would gently move the board game into the 21st century. Instead of plainly moving around the board like the other pieces, you could Instagram your hotels and SnapChat people that owed you money.

I was also thinking that hipster glasses would be a good piece because they would remind people that Monopoly is so mainstream and stupid. Why would anyone want to play a board game when they could listen to Edith Piaf on their record player while wearing an old band uniform from the 60’s that they found at the Goodwill?

Then I tried to think of something that symbolized the meaning of the game–to get rich. Black gold, Texas tea….duh. The BP oil spill would be a great piece. It would symbolize money, and losing money (which sometimes happens in the game), ruining animal’s lives (which happens with the building of hotels) and helplessness. I don’t know how you could get the whole oil spill into a playing piece, but I’m certain it would look really cool.

Lastly, I think Tina Fey’s facial scar would be a great piece. It would serve as a great reminder that even if you have lots of money and make people laugh, you still might have a gross scar on your face so maybe you should have a slice of humble pie. I don’t know what that has to do with Monopoly either.

canada, Games, TV

Canadian Clothes

One of my very first posts had to do with Canadian fashion sense. I can sum up their wardrobe choices with one word: yikes.

Let’s talk about the Olympic ceremonies shall we? After the Opening Ceremonies, all of the countries competing in the games paraded around the stadium, dressed in their team uniforms. There were plenty of cute outfits that made nations look put together. Ex. The United States (and no one else really). You have to dress for success! And hey, we won, so I guess we’re the best.

They couldn’t even find matching shoes? And that one chick is wearing a cast?! She must be a top athlete.

But let’s have a moment of silence for Canada’s one gold medal they won in Trampolining. On second thought, let’s not.

The Parade of Nations is like, the one chance that countries get to show off. And Canada’s team opted to go for the old hoodies and khaki’s look. I don’t know if anyone told them, but it’s like, the Olympics. It happens once every four years (well, every two if you count the winter Olympics, but ugh, one can only get so excited about watching other people ski). You’re in front of the queen for crying out loud! Maybe put on your Sunday best?

And then there was the Closing Ceremonies. When the games end, the nations of the world congratulate each other and pretend like we all get along. This was Canada’s chance to go out with a bang. They could’ve been like, “Well, we only got one gold medal, but at least we look fly tonight!” They looked like the opposite of fly. If the entire Canadian team’s flies were down, they would’ve looked more fly. It was that bad.

They whipped out the jean jackets. With patches.