I was walking aimlessly downtown around 3pm when I passed by my husband’s work. I asked him if he wanted to go for a quick coffee since the sky was blue and he probably wanted an excuse to leave the droning of his office. He came down and we went to this little place across the road called Street Level Espresso.
After walking in and ordering (one Americano for him, one Tea for Sad People for me) we sat down and smiled. It’s not everyday you get to share a sweet second during the busy work day. Our moment of bliss was cut short by an 84-year-old woman’s voice. I know her age because she said it 3 times out loud. I also know she worked in a factory for 50 years because she casually mentioned it thrice as well.
After Paul swallowed the rest of his drink to the sounds of this woman’s voice talking over the coffee machines, I told him it was fine to leave me. I’m usually the first to inhale food or drinks, but my tea was so hot I couldn’t gulp it. As he left, I readjusted myself so I was facing the bar of the shop instead of the back of the store. Just because I hate people doesn’t mean I have to look like I hate people.
The 84-year-old woman, Mary, gasped when she saw my feet. “I LOVE YOUR SHOES! THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL.”
My “beautiful” shoes.
“Ohh uhh, thanks. Yeah, they’re kinda fun.”
“I once bought a pair of sparkly shoes downtown for 150 dollars. They aren’t comfortable so I don’t know when I’ll ever wear them. I couldn’t wear them in the factory, that’s for sure!”
Come on tea, cool down.
“Look at that picture of a chicken on the wall! Who would ever want that picture? For 100 dollars! Hmph!” She said, staring at it.
All of a sudden a taller man, Zeke, came into the shop whom Mary greeted with excitement.
Do they boil their tea with lava?
Mary kept on talking to Zeke while I burned my mouth numerous times, sacrificing my body in order to free my mind. When I finally finished, I rose and strode to the door. “It was nice meeting you.” I said.
“Oh, meet my friend!” She said, motioning to Zeke.
Oh come on.
“Hi, I’m Lily. Nice to meet you.” And I’ll probably never see you again ever. Why is your palm so sweaty?!
“Hi, Zeke.”
“I guess I’ll see you around. Mary, right?” I said.
“AHAHA YES!”
Congratulations on your first time being outside and interacting with people, Mary.
Lily In Canada 
I hate to break this to you, but you’re turning Canadian. “Nice to meet you, crazy person”?
Ughgh. I might have to have a moment of silence for my old, intolerable American self. (Intolerable in the sense that I couldn’t tolerate people and that I, too, was hard to tolerate.)
Being Canadian is painful.
When someone bumps into you and you apologize, you will have crossed the point of no return.
I identified with crazy Mary here, and to that note, I think it’s sweet you said goodbye. I read this to Dave and told him he’s not allowed to die before me because then I’d probably go into isolation and lose my sense of boundaries and accost people who are wearing gold shoes. 🙂
Haha thanks. Yeah I was struggling with feeling bad for crazy Mary and being super annoyed because there wasn’t a moment of silence. But yeah, I totally feel for people who don’t have anyone to talk to. All of her thoughts just flowed right out!
Haha in all fairness, I shouldn’t wear those shoes if I don’t want to amaze people 😉
It’s true. You have a social responsibility to control your awesomeness, and reserve it for special occasions. 🙂
I really don’t like random talkers that ruin my peace and people watching. (Especially during a few stolen moments with the husband. )
Cool shoes…
I know. It was tough. I’m just glad that Paul got out of there safely. But yeah there is a time and a place for random talkers and this was definitely not it.
Thanks lady!
Aren’t people just the worst?
They are. Like, so so so much so.
Tots. You’re becoming assimilated my dear. Welcome to Canada. We can’t just hate people properly. It’s just not our way … Sorry Lily, but again. Welcome!
I knowww. I am mourning for my old self. A part of me was almost charmed by her. Which terrifies me! You Canadians and your damn good ways!
If I weren’t mentally ill, I would be the kind that wouldn’t ever go out. I would stay inside and never interact with people.
I definitely see the draw to never going outside ever again. There are just so many people out there. It’s much safer in here with the people in my computer.
That is why I prefer the people of WordPress. They don’t insist on every meeting or bothering me.
Just so you know, I had an entire reluctant conversation with someone in an elevator today without ever looking up from my book.
Pretty sure she heard my sigh of relief when she got off.
So it can be done!!! 😉
Applause for your good manners and your great taste in shoes and for taking your husband out to coffee!
Let’s let the rest of it sink out of our memories, so it remains a lovely day. It could have been worse–she could have been a second cousin twice removed on your Mother’s great Aunt Hester’s side.
Right on, Lily! Migrating is all about the melting pot and it’s a pox upon Canadian society that they allow old crones and their sweaty palmed dwarves to mingle with those who are still settling in.
Those shoes really are fabulous though.
Classic Lily post! Loved it :D. And give her a break, that old poor woman might be starting a fan club for you and your shoes ;).
Mary sounds like a peach. 🙂