Girl Crush of the Week: Icy Bitches

There’s something about this time of year that makes me appreciate the ice in people’s veins. I think that might be why The Grinch is such a popular story. The cold weather tends to bring on a bitter bite in the spirits of some. Hopefully you enjoy the following frosty women as much as I do.

The White Witch from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe is one of my favorite icy bitches because she’s both icy, and a total bitch. And she basically symbolizes Satan. Merry Christmas! I like how she was so easily able to tempt Edmund with Turkish Delight. Of course he was swayed to the dark side with food. A boy after my own heart. The White Witch was played by the androgynous Tilda Swinton in the big screen movie. I thought that was a good choice because her face always makes me think “What are you?!” The perfect amount of creepy, bitchy, and chic.

Ever since I was a young child, I was drawn to Queen Frostine from Candy Land. Wearing a big smile on her face alludes to her loveliness. She sports a beautiful gown most likely made out of frosting which is kind of risque for a kid’s game. However, she still makes the bitchy list. If you were lucky enough to get the precious Queen Frostine card out of the deck, you got to skip all the way to her presence. BUT she gives you no warning about Gloppy’s Molasses Swamp further ahead. You can literally get trapped there for the entire game. Hence, the  bitchiness.

Welcomes you with open arms and then sends you to your death.

I mentioned Elsa from Disney’s Frozen in a previous post this month. I’m literally in love with this character. She’s so rad because she was born with these icy powers that her parents make her conceal (rude and dysfunctional). Eventually her powers are revealed and she sings this amazing song about how she basically doesn’t give a crap anymore and she’s my hero in life. During her rage-singing she builds herself an amazing castle. I also really REALLY love her hair. She technically makes my bitch list because she almost kills her sister twice and plays it off like it’s no big thang.

I felt compelled to include Rose from Titanic on my list because she actually has icicles hanging from her, she’s that icy. Rose is a lovable gal in that she thinks she’s too good for Jack but then realizes that Jack is actually Leonardo DiCaprio and she falls madly in love with him, shedding her clothes immediately. At least I think that’s how the story line goes. Anyway, for some reason she feels like she’s unable to spare any room on her floating door raft and just lets Jack float in the water and die. Like, could you not scoot over a couple inches? 

I remember having a picture book of Hans Christian Andersen’s story The Snow Queen. I had to just refresh myself on the tale, and I have to admit that it’s pretty messed up. A lot of the story focuses on weird devil goblins that want to distort people’s happy view of the world we live in. The Snow Queen captures a boy and takes him in her sleigh to her frozen palace. He can only free himself once he completes this impossible task of spelling the word “eternity” using shards of glass. A super safe art project for a child. He’s eventually rescued by his friend and the Snow Queen just chills like nothing ever happened. She’s probably still kidnapping children to this day and forcing them to play with glass.

Do you have any girl crushes right now?