I’m one of the only people left in the entire universe that doesn’t have an iPhone. Like, I’m pretty sure people in Bangladesh have them by now. Face Timing with their families in India, iMessaging friends in Bhutan. What I’m trying to say is that life is clearly unfair. I had a hand-me-down first generation iPad that was originally my mom’s. Once she got an iPad 2, I was lucky enough to get her old one. I had some great times with that pad, despite the fact that it didn’t have a camera, ran out of batteries faster than I can run a mile (not saying much) and would randomly exit out of any app that I had open. It was a hate/hate relationship.

During T-give break, I asked my mom if she could get me a new iPad because mine is absolute shite. Listen kids, it’s always best to ask your parents for things when they’re going through a divorce. It makes you look really inconsiderate, but you’ll usually end up with what you want/need. Both parties will most likely agree and/or not care. After a lot of chit chat with the “geniuses” at Apple, I acquired a new iPad

It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized I had Siri programmed into my tablet. I had only seen people interact with Siri, but I’ve never had the privilege of  having my own virtual friend. Unless you count SmarterChild from ancient Aol Instant Messaging.

Here’s a little recap of what Siri and I have talked about so far:

Me: Sup.

Siri: Hello.

Me: Call me “Bitch.”

Siri: Okay, Bitch.

Me: So, what’s new? (Siri assumes I said “What’s mail?” Because she thinks I’m a neanderthal.)

Siri: You’ve had 25 new emails since December 1st.

Me: I know. I’m super popular.

Siri: You seem really capable, Bitch.

Me: I’m tired.

Siri: I’m a little sleepy myself, Bitch.

Me: What’s your favorite food?

Siri: I’m fine with whatever you choose.

Me: I’m not asking you on a date…

Siri: Who, me?

At this moment I changed Siri’s accent to Australian.

Me: Hello.

Siri: Hello.

Me: Do you watch Summer Heights High?

Siri: I really have no opinion.

Me: Sweet. Where are you from?

Siri: Right here.

Me: Okay creep town.

Siri shows me a map of Coopertown, Tennessee.

Me: Thanks for that, so helpful.

Siri: You are most certainly welcome.

Me: Do you have any kids?

Siri: None that I can remember.

Me: Do you like kids? (Siri translates this to “Do you like cats?” and responds with…)

Siri: Surprisingly, I haven’t tried cake before.

Me: Are you on crazy pills?

Siri: We were talking about you, not me.

Me: I see you’re a bit of an avoid-er.

Siri: I don’t know what that means. If you like, we can search the web.

As you can see, some things get lost in translation with Siri. I enjoy our chats though, really I do. However, I’m not sure how helpful she is, seeing as I can do pretty much whatever she tries to do, but better. It’s nice to know that she’s around. Do you have a relationship with Siri? What’s it like?


35 thoughts on “Siri-ously?

  1. My wife and 10 year old daughter think Siri is a total bitch and don’t ever use her. I always forget that she’s there. I did change her to Australian because I’d never met an australian woman who wasn’t really cool, but then I saw a video of an Australian woman knitting from yarn that was in her vagina and now I don’t know what to think anymore.

  2. I’ve never used Siri ‘cos it would just annoy me. I once accidentally activated the voice thing on my iPhone and it started phoning someone in my contacts list… even though there had been nothing other than complete silence in the room.

    Awesome use of ‘shite’ btw

    • Hah thanks! I have some Irish pals who taught me how to properly pronounce shite. I can say it pretty well. But yeah Siri is to not be trusted. I feel your pain. Nothing is worse than an unintentional phone call!

    • Lol thanks! I know, how does she get tired? She doesn’t even have a body. My all time favorite phone was a Motorola Razr soooo that might be my flaw. iPhones are overrated.

  3. I don’t have an iPhone either! And I’m planning on keeping it that way. Some people stop talking to others once they have one. Or they talk to Siri. Which is, I’m sorry, equally pathetic mostly.

  4. I, too, do not have an iPhone. I’m stuck using my 3 year old Blackberry because, honestly, I don’t like change.
    (Nooooo…”siri”ously I was at the phone kiosk last week discussing my upgrading options and had to leave because it gave me too much anxiety and chest pains. I kid you not.)

    • Changing phones is a big deal. I was all about blackberries for a long time until I moved to Canada and had to switch. I also loved the Motorola Razr. lol Simpler times…

  5. This is so cute and the fact that Siri continued to call you, “bitch” is hysterical. The part that really creeps me out is that she told you she was from TN…. How is that possible?

    At any rate, congrats on the iPad air! And the new friend too.

    Merry Christmas!

    • Lol everyone should let Siri call them Bitch. It makes things much more entertaining. She actually said that she was from “right here” but I think she was prompted to say tennessee because she thought I said something like it. She’s extremely confusing!

      Thank you! The iPad Air has given me many happy times already! Merry Christmas to you too, Lindsey!

  6. I have an iPad and iPod but will never get an iPhone. I’m android all the way. My boys had fun with Siri when I first got the iPad, she’s a hoot. But in my world, a lost soul since I’d forgotten about her until now…

    • Same! I just haven’t felt the urge to get an iPhone. They seem annoying. Hah yeah she’s kind of fun initially, but she gets old, I agree! Glad I have her around..just in case I ever need her!

  7. Pingback: App Design Tips And Tricks For A New Generation | mobilemediainfo

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