Last night I had trouble sleeping. I never have trouble sleeping. Sleep is my thang. Here in Victoria, we don’t need AC–we just leave our windows open to get a nice breeze. Last night however, I got less of a breeze and more noise.
The apartment behind us, where our windows face, was playing music extremely loud starting at about midnight. One would assume they would be playing party music or some kind of top 40 crap, but no. Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” started playing on repeat. Needless to say, when I woke up there were definitely clouds in my coffee.
After that, ELO’s “Evil Woman” came on followed by an entire ELO Greatest Hits album. I think someone from my building shouted at the late night DJ but that only made them repeat whatever song they were playing. They wanted no interruptions. Maybe they were going through a tough break up and were choosing super appropriate songs and then got distracted by how many good songs ELO has to offer. By the time “Living Thing” came on, I had the shut the window and turned on the fan.
Today Paul took me to lunch after I was done volunteering. We went to one of our favorite Thai restaurants. I always get this red coconut curry stuff that’s super bad for me but tastes like a tapestry of wonder on my tongue. I mainly like to go there because of one of the waitresses there. She’s very androgynous-looking. She’s always so happy and willing to get whatever Paul and I need. Occasionally she calls me “sweetie” and I kind of love it.
Paul: She never calls me sweetie.
Me: And that’s why she’s my favorite.
Paul: That’s good because she’s right behind you.
Me: *mouthing in her direction* I love you (As she turns back into the kitchen)
As I walked home from eating my weight in spring rolls, I saw a girl with a “leminade” stand. Of course I had to purchase a cup to quench my thirst. The little girl wasn’t totally willing to pour me a cup so her mom did the dirty work. I glanced down at the prices and under the list it said “made with love” so I had to ask, “This isn’t by any chance made with love is it?” The mom laughed. The kid did not look at me. Can’t win ’em all.
What is the rule when waitresses call people sweetie? I feel weird when it’s someone my age or under. Really. It creeps me out and then I take things the wrong way and I creep them out. I think waitresses at bars are told to call everyone sweetie now because it always happens and yes, I will leave a nicer tip because what am I, going to not make her think I’m really rich?
The only thing better would have been if you spit out the lemonade after the mother said it was indeed made with love. Maybe spit it in the child’s face. That seems like a very “Will Ferrell movie moment” where he’s trying to avoid love.
Our age or under is weird if they’re white. If they’re a different race then I feel like it’s cute for some reason. Is that racist? Probs.
Omg that would’ve been so funny, but no one besides them would’ve been around to witness it. If Will Ferrell did it, it would’ve been hilarious. Man, we should send him that bit for his next movie and make millions/nothing.
Haha! I love the little “leminade” stand! This isn’t by any chance made with love, is it? So cute.
I hate when neighbors are noisy at night. Like shut up!
This was way funny. 🙂
Tanks mommie. 😀 I like making you laugh!
Leminade stands are the best. And anything made with love is delicious!
I know! I’ve never had that problem before but they were so crazy loud. At least it was good music! Hah!
you should have called the “noise” police 🙂
Haha I’m not that old am I?!
hahaha , No not really.
“This isn’t by any chance made with love is it? Because I am deathly allergic to love!” Congratulations on your display of restraint. I don’t think I could have managed.
Haha love is all around and it would be a shame to be allergic to it!
Why thank you! I might go crazy next time, who knows?
You’re hilarious. I’m going to go drink some leminade now 🙂
Haha thanks girl! You’re too nice! Lol leminade is the best summer drink, that’s for sure!
I keep the by-law complaint number written on our bathroom wall. For real. Just be quiet already, neighbours. No karaoke after 11 (preferably never).
That’s a great idea. I need to do that! I never thought I would have any complaints being next to a bunch of apartment complexes, but I guess I was wrong!
I didn’t think I’d have that many living in the suburbs and also since I’m not 82.
You should have bought some limonade for your noisy neighbours and poured it through the letterbox.
That’d learn ’em.
I should have! That would’ve been a loop-de-loop of a day. Unfortunately, I don’t know where the music was coming from! Damn them!
I bet that little girl thought the stand was all about her.
I bet you’re right. Little did she know, the stand was meant for me to make a joke about. Sheesh. Doesn’t she know the world doesn’t revolve around her?
Great stories from Victoria! Carly Simon and ELO are both great…but I suppose not so much on repeat in the middle of the night.
I LOVE things that are “made with love” – I always ask my friends at Tim Horton’s when I get my item ” was that made with love?” 🙂
Thanks Sandy! Haha yeah not so much in the middle of the night! But it still kind of made me laugh the third time “You’re So Vain” rolled around. 😉
Haha that’s so funny! I should ask people at Tim Horton’s the same thing. They would think I’m crazy…
Best line ever: but tastes like a tapestry of wonder on my tongue
And now I have that damn song on repeat in my head… Thank you very much. Darn you Carly Simon
Well thanks Miss Audra! I’m glad I painted a good picture!
I know right? The following day I couldn’t stop singing it!
Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha.
I can’t even tell you what I’m laughing at most. At least 3 good ones in this post. Way to go, Lily, you overachiever, you!
Haha yay! 🙂 I love that we make each other laugh!
Thanks girlfriend!
Ewwww. That takes sticky lemonade to a whole new level.
Totally! At least the lemonade was pink though. I appreciated that!
Another winning post, Lily!
Thank you! Glad you liked it!