I am not a sporty person. I’d rather participate in individual events than having to depend on other teammates. Or worse, having people depend on me. That being said, there is one sport in particular that I am terrified of and that is golf. I could only dream of having the aid of teammates with this sport. But unfortunately I’m the only person who can help me. (I feel like I’m being really dramatic.) I mean, people can help me by giving me tips, but I have to figure out how to move my body properly. It would also help if I could hit the ball when I wanted to.
I always knew I would be terrible at golf. Some sports I look at and I’m like, okay I could do that. Like volleyball or tennis–I’m not great, hell, I’m not even good, but I can get away with looking like I know what I’m doing. Kind of. But whenever Paul watches golf, I get confused by so many things:
How do the golfers know where to aim? You can’t even see the flag from the beginning of each hole so like, do the golfer just guess where to swing? Unclear.
Why do there have to be so many different clubs? Can’t there just be one kind that works for every type of swing? Why do I have to learn which iron or wood to use? Why are there numbers involved? 9 irons? Drivers? Putters? How annoying.
Who decided 18 was an appropriate number for holes in a course? Did they realize that it takes hours upon hours to complete a full game? I mean, that’s cool if you like golf a lot, but do you still like it after 4 hours of playing? Probs not.
The one thing that I do approve of are the chic clothes that you get to wear. Lots of argyle and polos and plaids, oh my! So that’s fun.
I’ve only been to the driving range thrice in my life and one of those times was when I was twelve. The other two times were recently when Paul was trying to teach me some golf basics. Needless to say I’m the worst and try to stand far away from anyone else because I’m so embarrassed for myself.
Luckily I have a patient teacher. And I don’t even brag about how much better I am at putting than he is. Much.
Lily In Canada 
Don’t understand golf and don’t ever want to. My dad is a big fan of golf and I’m constantly astounded as to why. He has to do it every Saturday, it takes up the entire day and every time he’s disappointed because he didn’t do as well as his par (whatever that means). At least with any other sport you have the excuse to either show off fancy outfits, check out cute boys or release some unnecessary anger. What’s not to love?
Exactly. Golf just seems like such a waste of time. It’s so long and everyone takes it so seriously. That’s crazy that your dad goes every Saturday! I think that’s what my husband wants to do and it just seems like so much effort. Whyyyy!?!
Golf is crap.
There, I said it.
Hitting things with sticks is fun, yet golf has managed to take the fun out of something that is fun.
Lol true. Golf is crap. And it shouldn’t even be labeled as a sport since everyone that golfs is overweight and old.
I let two friends talk me into golf lessons. Today is our first lesson. I took it as a gym class in college. I really stink. Why is the ball so damn small and hard to follow once you whack it? I need a spotter. My hubs is a primo golfer. I get too pissed off when he tries to teach me. I want to beat his &$@” when we play. Lovely pic by the way 🙂
Well at least you have some previous experience! The ball is soooo small! At least you have something to follow! Whenever I hit mine, I can usually see it ten feet in front of me. Hahah.
My husband is a pretty good golfer too! How did we get so lucky? 😉
Oh, and thanks about the picture! 😀
Dear Lily,
I’ve just returned from my lesson. My golf instructor called me a natural. Booyah!!
Audra
No wayyyy amazing! I’m proud of you! You natural, you.
I don’t get golf… I feel like it involves some kind of math, so I’m going to continue to avoid it entirely.
Yeah I feel ya sister. There’s calculating involved and par numbers and course numbers and yeah. That’s too much for me.
Cute post! Keep playing and please checkout http://www.mulligang.com if you have time for additional golf news and tips 🙂 Cheers!
Thanks Will! I will check out your blog for sure. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Aww… My two big kids. I think I could play only if I could do it like Happy Gilmore. I’d like to be able to throw things if I get mad or frustrated. Truesies on the clothes. That’s the only reason to have anything to do with this sport. No doubt that aspect of the game was created by a woman.
Fun Post. I’m sure it reflects the feelings of many- like Michael Cargill. Haha!
Yeah I want to be able to get down on the ground and blow on the ball to get it into the hole hehe. Maybe I’ll do that next time we mini golf?
Thanks mom!
I’m also scared of golf- mostly because I worry I’ll get hit in the head with a stray ball and/or club. I saw that happen to someone once. It was naaaaat good
Ahhh no way! That’s definitely one way to ruin a perfectly good golf outing. I’m sure I’ll be one of the lucky ones who gets nailed by a flying club. Just my luck.
its totes about the clothes.
Isn’t everything? You probably have some cute outfit all planned out for your half marathon and I’m totes jeal.
I’ve decided that life is too short to waste time being bad at golf. Also — and I’m going to say this because we’re pals and yesterday when you posted this was National Honesty Day back in the ol’ country — that’s a really terrible photo.
Lol Ross you’re so mean! But I guess I have to be able to take it if I’m gonna dish it out. Maybe you just don’t like it because it’s not a picture of you sitting on top of a school desk?
But yes, life is way too short to waste it walking around golf courses silently crying to yourself. For sure.
Ahem: sitting on a STOOL on top of a school desk. That’s the genius part. It’s the water hazard of publishing.
what?
People who enjoy golf…REALLY enjoy it. Other people think it’s stupid. There’s like no middle. In my opinion it’s more of a hobby than a sport. I mean come on, where’s the action?
I sometimes play golf on the Wii though, where you can actually see the flag and what direction the wind is blowing. So it’s like cheating, lol. I know you need different clubs depending on where you’re hitting from…because one type of club that’s meant for rough grass won’t work the same on the bunkers (sand). But I only know that because of Nintendo. 😀
You’re right! There’s really no middle ground in golf. I think I’m more of a mini golfer…hah and a Wii golfer of course!
I think maybe I should practice with the Wii and see how it goes? You sound like a professional so it must be giving you some good tips and tricks!
I read this at work and ROFLcoptered over the time I attempted to play 18 holes of golf; I spent most of the day smoking cigarettes while spending hours on end just basically taking chunks out of the ground and rolling the ball across the grass. The last hole I was on, I whacked the ball and it actually flew, only expecting it to roll like the previous 540 shots narrowly missing some guys head who then gave me a stern talking to about shouting four before I hit the ball.
Then I spent the next 20 minutes yelling four at him because I’m a right dick head.
Lol omg Pete of course you would have some sort of crazy golf story. Why are people so uppity when it comes to sports? They always want to lecture and teach people about stuff. It’s like, isn’t the point of playing sports to have fun and hit people in the head with balls? I think so.
Haha definitely! I’ve too have only been to the driving range a couple of times aswell and I find that pointless because when I hit a ball I can never see where it went, did it go 5000 yards down the field or did it just roll off the edge? I don’t know.
Haha same with me except I can almost guarantee every time that it will never go 5000 feet.
Ha, I love it! For being such a low key sport, golf is intimidating! Those who are really into it take it so seriously, it scares me away from attempting. Well done! 🙂
Thanks Claire! It’s definitely super intimidating for being as low key as it is (I realize you just said that but I wanted to repeat your words and make them my own… plagiarizing comment!). I just wish it was one of those things that I could be semi okay at with my first try, but I’m finding it so difficult. Ughgh effort!
Golf is hard. I tried to hit a golf ball once, it was impossible! And it wasn’t even moving! I never thought I’d say this, but pole dancing is easier.
Haha so true Viv! Could you imagine if the balls were moving? You would have to be the most coordinated person to be able to do that. Pole dancing at least seems wayyyy cooler and sexier than golf. Golf is the opposite of sexy ha!
True dat.
The clothes are the best part of golf, kinda sorta. I started playing as a child but then stopped in high school b/c I sucked and my brother made sure I knew that. Just picked it up again last summer and I love it. LOVE it, I tell you. In 20 years you will be glad Paul took you to the range 🙂
xo
Ahhh okay Mags. I trust you. I feel like I just get frustrated with it too easily, so I should probably invest in a lesson and then I would feel more confident/have a better time overall.
xoxo
Lily, you cut your hair.
The above comment is proof that when it comes to golf, to me, it’s all about the fashion presentation.
I did! I was going for a long bob, but it just looks like a poof when it’s not straightened. Not my best look, but my hair is nice and healthy now so whatevs.
Any sport should really just be for the clothes. Wasn’t that the point of the Olympic opening ceremonies?
Wow.That was a great picture by the way. But here in the Philippines, only few people play golf. Only rich and powerful people play that kind of sport. On my level, which is on or near the poverty line , we play street games like basketballs, billiards and also board games. Good luck on playing Golf. Maybe someday Tiger Woods would train you in the next few weeks or months. How is that?
Aww hah thanks so much. I didn’t know that about the Philippines. Actually, I don’t know a lot about the Philippines. At least the games that you play on the street are more fun than golf lol.
Haha I doubt Tiger Woods would want to coach me in golf, but if he did, I would get pretty good very quickly!
I’m here with you. The office (where I work) just signed us up for a golf tournament happening on May 20. My dad is a scratch golfer so he sent me some of his clubs. I’m trying to learn the ins and outs of this game and my GOSH! it’s so complicated, not to mention confusing. I’m barely getting the hang of the different types of clubs. It’s still all very overwhelming!
Never played golf, I’m terrified of it. I bought my husband golf clubs because he loves it (good little wife that I am) and now he wants me to play with him. I have this terrible feeling that I’ll end up whacking someone (probably my husband) in the head or smashing the window of someone’s car
but I guess smashing a ball to who-knows-where could be therapeutic!
Exactly! It’s scary, but still fun if no one expects you to take it too seriously. Go to the driving range first before you tackle an actual game though! I’ve never played an actual game…who knows when I’ll get up the nerve to do that haha! Good luck though!
Haha thank you!
You make a cute golfing power couple, Lily!
Thanks! I’m still learning, but I might be the next Tiger Woods…!
Just stay away from the skanky broads, Lily!