I did something today that I haven’t done for a long time. I went shopping. I used to go every day, and now I go every other day. Just kidding. I actually hadn’t been for a while because I’m in this weird stage in my life where I try not to spend money. I know, gross.
When I was an avid shopper, it was easy to stay in my own little world and just focus on the clothes and myself. I was a little rusty today and kept observing other people and the ridiculous things that were being said by common folk.
The following are real quotes said by real people and my responses (if I actually had the guts to say them out loud) along with some of my inner thoughts and struggles.
Girl shopping with her grandma: I like these dresses.
Grandma: Yes. Dresses are in this year.
Me: You know what else is in this year? Pants. And shirts. And clothes in general.
At Joe Fresh (I know, wtf?)
Employee: How are you doing today?
Me: Fine thanks. How are you?
Employee: I’m good, thanks! It’s kind of cold in here.
Me: Yeah you should probably quit.
At Forever 21
Me: This would be too small on me.
Me: This would be too short on me.
Me: This is too pink.
Me: This is…wait what is this?
Mom with her daughter: Hey this would be cute! [holds up a sparkly black mini skirt]
Daughter: UGH not for festivals!
Me: Um you should listen to your mom, she knows what she’s talking about and could really fix your whole look. If you consider what you’re wearing “a look”.
At Forever 21
Me: I need these shoes.
Me: Yes I do.
Me: You need food, water and shelter.
Me: And these shoes.
Me: Then you have to throw out a pair at home to balance your life.
Me: When did I make that rule?
Me: Yeah wtf that rule sucks.
Me: Unlimited amount of shoes, right?
Me: But then if I buy these I’ll have to wait in line and talk to someone.
Me: Unnecessary purchase.
At Joe Fresh
Me: Hi, do you have these in a darker denim?
Employee: Hmm no, I don’t think so. But we have them in red!
Me: Oh, okay. That’s the same.