Feelings

Shoulda Coulda Woulda


Even though I’ve done a lot of coolio things with my life, I’ve also not done a lot of coolio things. I don’t know if I could’ve worded that any worse. There are times when I compare myself to other people my age and realize that I haven’t accomplished nearly as much as some people have. Maybe I wasn’t motivated enough. Maybe life got in the way.

There’s also part of me that isn’t impressed by anyone’s accomplishments. Part of me thinks I can/could do whatever I want and that everyone has the power to do whatever they want. So why be impressed by something that I could’ve done myself. I’m a good person, I swear.

So that got me thinking that it’s never to late to make myself impressive and accomplished. You know, like those people on the University of Phoenix commercials. They’re always going on about how it’s never too late to make a new path for yourself. Granted, they went to the University of Phoenix, but I’m sure there’s some merit to what they’re saying.

I’m going to make a list of things that I could do to make me a better, more well-rounded person.

1. Write a book. Anyone can write a book these days. I don’t have any particularly juicy stories I could use as a foundation to a memoir (and I’m only 25 so I haven’t really lived yet, but multiple people have told me I’m an “old soul” and remind them of their grandmas so there’s that) but I like talking about things in detail, so I’m sure I could figure it out.

2. Get a job. I was patiently awaiting the day that jobs would cease to exist but society doesn’t seem to be moving in that direction. The thing with me getting a job is that it’s actually not possible until my permanent residency comes in. Is it wrong that I hope it never arrives? Although, it will be nice to be a resident of Canada and just casually stroll past the customs officers. I’ll be so worldly. Kind of.

3. Go back to school. Okay this idea is barf. I still feel like I’m not ready to go back to school. However, I’ve always liked referring to myself as a student. I like studying and sitting in class and taking notes. But I was in school from ages 5-23. I’ve been out of school for two years and it’s been wonderful. No staying up late and writing essays. No stress of missing class or forgetting to read a chapter. And now that I’m not in school I’ve had so much more time to read for pleasure.

I could just take a couple of classes just for shits and gigs because I’m not sure I’m smart enough to get a masters. Or I could get a certificate for museum studies or managing artifacts or something like that (I have a degree in history and I’m interested in museum and gallery work). I just don’t know. And most importantly, if I went back to school I could go back-to-school shopping. Worth it.clueless

Okay so my list has three things on it. Help me think of more things to do. They have to be possible–like, I’m not going to become an astronaut or anything. I COULD, but I don’t want wear those ugly NASA suits. More like NASTA, am I right?

And no, I’m not having a baby. Eventually I will, but I’m not willing to give away my youth. Or wake up at 3am.

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78 thoughts on “Shoulda Coulda Woulda

  1. I have nothing all too positive to say here so I’m better off not giving any poor advice. I think everyone our age feels like a failure no matter what they decide to do. We’re constantly lied to about everything. I think all I need is some back-up plan where I can easily join a farm and just work there for the rest of my days once I finish failing at the rest of my things. I’m stopping now. Too angry today.

    • It’s true. Our generation is maybe one of the worst. Although, every generation after ours is even worse. Joining a farm could be a good idea, but I feel like there would be work involved so probably not the best choice for me. But you could sit in a rocking chair and yell at people to get off yer property. That could be fun for a while.

  2. Ahhh, I know how you feel! It’s a bit hard isn’t it? Personally I’d love to get my masters, travel the world, get married and end up with a kickarse job.

    Then I remember I’m 21 and if I do my masters then I’m stuck in the one place for the next two years, eating 2 minute noodles and not being able to travel ANYWHERE since I’d have to live off a shitty part-time salary. And then I think, ‘that’s cool, I’ll just travel the world’ which is my current plan, but once again, that means money, which means I’m stuck working every day in order to save up to go overseas.

    Clearly, the solution to these problems is to become extremely rich…by marrying a millionaire. That way, I can achieve all my goals! (except having a soul. But whatever).

    • If your Gravatar picture is anywhere near accurate, the marrying rich shouldn’t be a problem. The only problem is the old guy with bad breath that comes with the money.

      • What a lovely thing to say! (Although in true honesty, it’s a particularly good photo so might not be a 100% accurate).

        Awful isn’t it? I know if I were rich I’d have fantastic breath all the time because I could afford to spend my days brushing my teeth. Ah, a life of luxury!

    • Ooo yeah I would love to travel the world…but I’m pretty sure that involves having money. Glad we have the same predicament! A masters would have a good outcome, but ughh so much work. However, I do love 2 minute noodles. Haha!
      Lol not having a soul…!

      • Hahaha, I think everyone in their twenties has a similar predicament to us! Ah well, I guess we can tell ourselves that we have the next 50 years to travel the world!

    • Ooo those sound like fun…and dangerous. Well, maybe not backpacking. 25 is a good age. Not too old, not too young. Those are some super adventurous suggestions…maybe I’ll try one!

  3. Lily, great post. do you think fanfiction be the same as writing a book for my case because i dont think i really have what it takes to write an actual novel and get it published. I’ve completed about 5-6, most with over 30 chapters. I’m still waiting for my e l James moment.

    • Thanks Fish! Yes! I think Fan Fiction is way harder than a regular book! You’re so good at drawing too–you should definitely add illustrations!
      Keep on writing them! If it’s something you enjoy, and you’re good at, it’s worth it!

  4. genericmessage says:

    I just recently applied for graduate school. Decided going back, even if part time, would be good for me

  5. I didn’t think I would ever get a masters but I have! Its not as hard as people think! Just gotta put the effort in to do lots of personal research, its really all about what you do, not what the lecturers teach you! Then again, I haven’t found a job related to my degree yet…I live in hope! :S

    • That’s good news! Congrats on getting one! Haha yeah I feel like I wouldn’t be able to get a degree in whatever I got a masters in either. I would probably end up doing something with art or history…ugh.

  6. Oh, the writing of a book… That’s on my list, but I have no idea what it would be about. It literally haunts my daydreams. I’ll be staring out the window thinking, “What could I possibly have enough to say about to put it in a book?” So far, I’m coming up with nada.

    • Hahah yeah I don’t think I could write a fictional book. No way in hell could I think up characters and personalities. I think you would have a lot to say! You probably just have to start writing about anything and form it into something. Not that I know anything about writing books.

  7. Not that I am making a case for having a baby as something to do, but here it is:

    1) Talk about fodder for a book, that is, if the sleep deprivation doesn’t get you first.
    2) It would be like getting a job, only with shitty pay and even shittier hours.
    3) You would learn all kinds of new things like, All About Early Childhood Infectious Illnesses and Abbreviated Sleep Cycles.
    4) You would definitely need a new wardrobe.
    5) You would not have to wear an orange jumpsuit. Unless that’s what you are into.

    All that said, I waited until I was 33 and 34 to have my kids (as if being married to the wrong guy constitutes waiting because having a baby with him would have been way worse than the alternative of being pregnant in my 30s) and IMHO, making babies is the business of young people. You think you are tired now? If I had had my babies when I was, say, your age, my kids would be 15 and 16 right now and I would be THIS CLOSE to having them out the door, while I am still youngish and still have a chance at fulfilling my cougar destiny.

    That is all.

    • Haha you will be a cougar no matter what, don’t worry! Yeah I do want to have kids while I’m youngish, but I feel like more and more people are having kids in their late thirties and early forties!
      In due time Viv, I will have them in due time. As for right now, I will just look at pictures of everyone else’s cute kids!

  8. What about being the surrogate for women who can’t have babies? You would have a “job” without really having a job and then at the end of nine months you take a vay cay! Just Kidding!!!!!! That would be the worst!!!

    LOL about back to school shopping. That’s totally the best part of returning to school. You should do that. Get a degree in Art History and look at works of art all day. Easy peasy. Oh, and sound really smart when people mention an artist or painting…! It’s always fun to show off.

    You are Cher from Clueless. Wait, was that her name?

    • Lol that would be the worst job ever. Yeah Art History could be good, but then I would just be getting a regular degree and not a masters. I couldn’t get a masters in Art History because I don’t have any prerequisites or a degree in it. Ugh we’ll see!

      Hah yeah! Cher Horowitz! Sounds like you need to watch the movie again! A little refresher! Sounds like a trip to Barnes and Noble!

  9. Please take this comment with a grain of salt (or also salt-substitute). I was hearing strains of “The Big Rock Candy Mountain” in the background as I read your post. “Where they killed the jerk who invented work” was loud and clear. Sorry, just sayin’. But keep in mind, that’s coming from a guy that’s older than dirt. If Canada’s economy continues to worsen, you really will be saying “Coulda Shoulda Woulda”. A person of your intelligence should be able to come up with at the very least, a goal. I don’t mean at the hockey rink, either. Time to get out of bed, girl.

    • Lol I love that song “Where they hung the jerk that invented work!” Love it.
      Dude, I just came up with three goals. What more do you want from me? And who says I’m in bed? I mean, I am in bed, but still. I’m actually not allowed to work yet because I’m not a resident and I don’t have a visa. So the best that I can do is volunteer, clean the house, work out, read, and write. I wouldn’t say that I’m not doing things.
      And now just because you told me to get out of bed, I’m not going to 😉

      • LOL…Oh oh…Will it be my fault that you’re still in bed? You are in Canada now so we’re just like family and I should be able to tell you do things that you will turn around and not do anyways. And besides, I’m “He Who must not be blamed”.

  10. Those all sound like great plans. Except the school thing. I’m with you on that. I was so happy when I was done with my paralegal degree and could go “be a real adult”.

    I’m not sure what the weather is like where you live, but growing and cooking your own food, even just one dish, is immensely satisfying. I’m not saying you should become some crazy organic-farmer-hippie-type. Just one time. There is something surprisingly accomplishing about doing it.
    I did it with pickling my own cucumbers (pickles are my favorite food too, so twice the pleasure!) and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
    Probably smaller than you were thinking, but the only thing I’ve done myself (not already on your list) that I would recommend to everyone 🙂

    • How was getting your paralegal degree? How long did it take? Was it hard?
      Growing your own food sounds cool. It would be satisfying. Unfortunately I don’t have a yard. I live in an apartment. But some day I would definitely like to try that!
      Great suggestion!

      • It was…semi-difficult, I suppose.
        It’s hard for me to tell.
        I was raised by an attorney and half-worked in a law firm since I was 14. I spent a chunk of my high school participating in Mock Trial competitions. So I pretty much breathed law for many years before hitting college.
        And it’s only an associates degree (took me just over 3 years, as I was working full time while going to school), which is all I can afford without going into debt, which I have a crippling fear of. It’s my dream to eventually get a full-on law degree, but I want to figure out a way to pay for that without getting loans, which I hate.

        That is tricky with an apartment. I used my parent’s yard, lol. You can also begin with simple herbs grown indoor 🙂 Fresh herbs really jazz up a meal!

      • True about the herbs! Good idea!

        Yeah my husband got his degree in law and he’s almost done interning and then he’ll be a real lawyer! So I’ve been thinking about getting some type of paralegal degree so I could work with him. Maybe a good idea, maybe not..hah

      • Lol. I can’t give good opinion on working with partners. I can barely stand to spend time with mine more than twice a week.

        But it’s really important that you have a passion for research and law. Paralegals are not the ones arguing in front of a judge- so any interest in the glory or dramatics and that’s the wrong path for you. Paralegals are the ones who organize the files, find the best arguments (lawyer gets to pick which ones to use though), and drafts the paperwork. They spend a lot of time on the phone trying to get discovery too. Or at least I do. Maybe it would be different in Canada 😉

        It’s highly rewarding though. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love it very much.

      • Yeah no I would never be able to argue in front of a judge. Ever! Paralegal work sounds really hard too though. Maybe I should just be a secretary….lol

      • Haha. I started out as a legal secretary. You might like that. You learn some of lingo, but you mostly just do administrative tasks.

    • Hahah! Yeah I could do that..but I feel like I’m not good at explaining things or being a guide. Maybe I could do it! I’ll look into it because that’s something I’ve thought about! Good idea Maggie!

  11. Just enjoy yourself. There’s plenty of time to decide any life-changing strategies. Unless you’re bored, then start that book thing but I disagree anyone can write a book. A good book anyway. Or do that art thingy. Have fun — you’re 23, for gosh sakes, woman! Enjoy the youth thing. Seriously.

    • Hah thanks Brigitte! That’s true. I always worry that I should be doing something even when I’m perfectly happy just living life the way I am. You’re right about not everyone being able to write a GOOD book. I guess ever since joining wordpress it seems like everyone is writing books. I’ll figure out what to do..soon enough!

      Thanks again Brigitte!

  12. Not to worry — I’ve read in a couple of places that one shouldn’t even go to college before 25 because usually, people don’t really have an idea about the direction of their lives before then. So there.

  13. Write a book!…But then that might just entail getting up at 3am anyway. Also, if it isn’t already acquired, a serious caffeine addiction. 😉 Maybe garden/drive an ice cream truck/amateur photography? I’m pretty useless at this stuff, I still haven’t decided what to do with my life either. 😛 Oh wait, you could do one of those online university course things! Harvard, MIT and a few other American unis run them…Edx.org, I think.

  14. unfetteredbs says:

    I am late to the party here but I second what Brigitte said. Enjoy this time while you can. but if I can impart any of my old lady wisdom, it will be this: if you are seriously considering any sort of grad school, do it soon. Going back after too many years just sucks. Excuse my language. But it does– completely. I’m too old for it.
    I think you would be an awesome columnist.
    Shoulda coulda woulda– screw it. Never say those words.

    • Brigitte is a smart lady. But yeah, good advice. I feel like as years go on I will get less interested in going back to school/learning in general. You’re not too old for it though! If you want to go back, you should! You can do whatever you want!
      I was actually interested in applying to some local newspapers/magazines. Could be fun! Thanks so much Audra! You’re sweet.
      Okay those words are out of my vocab!

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  16. LOL. I thought I was the only who just stares blankly when people brag about doing things I could do myself. Hahahaha.
    Some other things you could do:
    – Learn to play an instrument. I vote for the harmonica!
    – Become a YouTube sensation. Sing, vlog… Whatever.
    – Sew your own clothes (Good luck with that ish)
    – Start a business. Cupcakes!

    I wanna go back to school. People keep telling me to do it, but no one ever waves a cheque for tuition at me. That pisses me off. Majorly.

    • lol could you REALLY see me playing the harmonica? Or do you just want to laugh at me?
      I’ve thought about the youtube thing, but I’m always too shy and I wouldn’t know what to say. Maybe someday..! Have you thought about doing it?
      Lol no why could I sew my own clothes.
      Yummm now I want cupcakes! I feel like I need a math brain to start my own business…but it’s a good idea!

      Aw you should go back to school! Even if it’s one class a semester! It’s something, right?

      • Yeah, I can totally see you playing it. I can also see myself laughing though. *Shrugs*
        I’ve never considered doing the vlog thing. You’re way more entertaining than I am though. You should do it!
        School – The college here sucks. I went for two years, then my parents got tired of my complaining, so they sent me away to a REAL one. When I live in a REAL place, I’ll probably go back and take some classes. Or cool classes like sushi making and cake decorating. WOO!

  17. You could become a professional blogger? The Bloggess desperately needs to be taken down a few pegs and I think you are just the person to do it. I will be your agent. I am in no way, shape, or form qualified for this but that would make it all the better when we get famous.

    • Omg I totally feel that way about the Bloggess. Plus, who does she think she is naming herself the Bloggess? But yeah we should probably take over the blogosphere soon–it would be exciting. And, more importantly, we would be famous.

  18. Nice Post, Go back in get your Masters it’s totally worth it. Plus nothing is harder than a JD, everything else should be a breeze. Go luck with your endeavors and your blog!

    • Thank you! Yeah I’m definitely thinking about it! I just have to figure out what my “passion” is. Hah and what will come in handy to have. That’s a good point!

      Thanks again!

  19. I think you’ve accomplished a great deal, not having a job must be awesome, I tried to convince myself that if I didnt have to work I’d just lay around and watch TV all day which is pretty much all I did last year when I was out of work but I had the added stress of “I need to find work”. Though it can get tiresome but if I lived somewhere that wasn’t shit like Chesterfield I probably could have got more done. I’m hoping I get to complete a book this year and get it published; then when I make enough money it’s moving to Hawaii time.

    • Haha Chesterfield can’t be that bad can it? I’ll trust you though. A lot of English towns suck. Almost everyone from my uni worked at a McDonalds so I figured that I was basically better than everyone in Kent.
      You should definitely try to get your book published. I would read it–and I never read anyone’s stuff. So consider yourself a cool cat!

      • Woo! That’s reason enough to finish it right there 😀

        Chesterfield’s pretty drab, the only thing it has going for it is that I live there. I can definitely see why John Hurt and Jason Statham left!

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