Baggage Claim 7 : Why I’ll Eventually Bomb O’Hare Airport

Just for the record, this isn’t a bomb threat. Just kidding it is. But seriously, it’s not.

I had possibly the worst day of my life yesterday. I’m not the kind of person to rate my days as good or bad, but I can sincerely say that it was awful. Everything that could go wrong did, and everyone was extremely unhelpful and wanted to kick me when I was down. I must have had some bad karma saved up and it was thrown onto me all in one day.

I was getting ready to go home (Canada is my home now I guess!) to see my Paulywog (I’m his Lilypad in case you’re wondering). My flight was set for departure at 1:30pm. There were intense storm warnings the night before, which I chose to ignore because what’s more powerful than love? Apparently weather. Weather is more powerful than love. I GUESS I can kind of see why Storm was a decent X-Man (X-Men? X-Woman?) now. I used to think that having the power to control weather would’ve been so lame. Like, if you’re going to be a mutant, have an awesome power like telekinesis or invisibility or something. Not the ability to make it rain.storm2

My mom and brother drove me to the airport and told me that if my flight was delayed or cancelled to call them right away so they could turn around and come get me. We live about forty minutes away from the airport, so it would’ve been a long journey for them to come back and forth if they had already arrived home.

I checked in, my flight was set to depart on time, and everything was dandy. We boarded on time, and we sat there. And sat there some more. And sat there some more, just for good measure. This is when things started to go awry. I looked at my phone and the time said 2:30pm. The captain had made an announcement that we had to wait in line to get de-iced. The power on our plane shut off a couple of times, and on top of that, the runway was shut down. I asked the flight attendant how much longer he thought the wait would be.

“I can’t say. I’m not sure. It depends.”

You’re the worst. I whispered under my breath.

I decided to get off, because I didn’t think I would make my connection in time. These people were hopeless. They were making jokes about putting on a movie while we waited. Missing a connection is no laughing matter! So I de-boarded.

As soon as I got through the exit, I heard an announcement: “Flight blah blah, final boarding.” Flight blah blah was my flight. And it was leaving now. I could still make it. Of course it would leave as soon as I got off. So I ran to the gate, and through security for a second time. I made it, called my mom once I was on the flight, and she reminded me that my connection in Toronto was in Eastern time. I wouldn’t make it. I de-boarded for a second time, told them to remove my luggage, and to cancel my reservation.

I asked the airline worker where I could pick up my bag. He told me that I wouldn’t be able to get my bag until I made my next reservation. Huh? No, I thought, you’re dumb. I’ll find someone else.tumblr_mez778KW3u1qbgc8ko1_500

I found someone in the baggage area and told him my predicament. He said that until I make another reservation, my bag will be kept in the back. I asked, “What if I don’t make another reservation?”

” Haha! Well then you’ll have to call a number to retrieve it.”

“Is there anyone else I can talk to besides you?” I asked.

“They’ll all tell you the same thing.”

I felt like I had no choice but to take a taxi home. The taxi driver took forever and didn’t really seem to care about my sad predicament. Rude.

When I got home my mom was shocked that I left my bag at the airport, unattended, available for the taking. After I explained how I was mistreated and abused, my mom decided that we should go back to the airport, get my bag, and rip all these unhelpful people a new one.

After trekking through the icy tundra for a third time, we finally arrived at the airport, only to be met by a long line at baggage lost and found. When we finally got some service, the woman told us that my bag was in the storeroom and it would take 2-4 hours to retrieve it. We would have to wait at Baggage Claim 7.tumblr_m4s36xcR8o1rwcc6bo1_500

So like the geniuses we were, we decided to kill some time by going to the airport Hilton’s restaurant. We ate some awful and overpriced spaghetti and killed about an hour. I met up with a guy from my flight who I recognized because I liked his peacoat, and we asked him how long he’d been waiting. 4 hours. 4 HOURS.

We were met with some unhelpful security guards and my mom was about to slap a bitch when all of a sudden an angel appeared from heaven.

“I’ll find your bag for you.” She said.

We looked at her in disbelief. She took my baggage number and 15 minutes later, my bag showed up on the carousel. She is my spirit animal, my guardian angel, my everything. She saved the day, and saved me from maybe killing every O’Hare employee that night.


39 thoughts on “Baggage Claim 7 : Why I’ll Eventually Bomb O’Hare Airport

  1. Oh sweet Cheesus I hate baggage + airports. They = hell, everysingletime. I have literally yelled (via email, of course) at many people for a missing box we shipped from Bruges. It was a box of beer, beer that could NOT be found here in the states. We had done this three times. The attendants said there was too much luggage on the flight so they couldn’t fit it all. Um, what? It was the ONLY thing we checked and we did it because they made us. And IT was the only thing that couldn’t fit? Someone totally swiped our Belgian beer, those turds.

    The moral of the story is that I feel your pain.

  2. O’Hare is the Celtic word for “delay” just so you know.

    This is why I don’t travel. I also have nowhere to go. I wonder where all the unclaimed bags go. I’m not really wondering. Glad you got your bag back. If you didn’t I’d be wondering where it went.

  3. I think you got a chance to see my gangsta side last night. Lol! I think it’s easy to see how some people go postal, return to the scene of there frustration and torment and kill everyone. I was very close last night. This falls under the heading of ‘ways I could make the world a better, more efficient place, if someone would give me a chance.’ I would defs start my crusade at O’Hare airport. 😉

    • You were so gangsta! I was proud. It was the worst day and there was hell to be paid. O’Hare needs every help. It’s such an awful place with the worst people working there.

  4. O’Hare airport is really where dreams go to die. Midway is so much more tolerable, but O’Hare is the fucking worst. I’ve only flown out of there once. In fact, I’ll even AVOID traveling to certain places if it means I can stay away from O’Hare.

    • It really is! I think Midway is slightly farther away from me and doesn’t have as many flight options, so I’m stuck with O’Hare (the dream killer). But consider yourself lucky that you have that option! Must be nice! 😀

  5. I’ve had similar experiences but with Dallas-Fort Worth Airport. It is the Hellhole of luggage. I can’t even count how many times they have lost my luggage on various trips, especially on trips that were delayed because of their stupid fault. I remember one time I was put on a later flight to San Diego because of their inability to get us to the gate in time to make our connecting flights and then my luggage didn’t get to San Diego for TWO days. Actually it had to go to Camp Pendleton so it probably sat in San Diego until somebody felt like driving it to Oceanside. Damn American Airlines. And I was flying first class, too. No concept of service. So it’s not just O’Hare. They are bad. I’ve had bad experiences there, too when I had to go through there to get home to New York from Mexico. That was a nightmare. I can totally sympathize with you predicament. I’ll help you bomb them if you want if you’ll help me bomb DFW.

    • Dallas Fort Worth is awful, I agree. Those two are probably the worst airports in the country/world. We put so much trust into the system and hope that our bags arrive safely and on time, but it’s so rare. We need to think of a more efficient way to get things done., ya know? They fact that the bags go around on carousels and they just trust that everyone will take their own bag is like something out of the 1960’s. So insane.

      We can be bombing duo. I have an equal hatred for DFW. You don’t mind spending the rest of your life in jail, right? 😉

  6. Ugggggh. O’Hare. One of the few things I do NOT miss about Chicago. Dayton’s airport is like a ghost town compared to O’Hare. Of course, I’ve still had baggage claim issues. Must just be an airport thing. I mostly drive now. At least then I can stop and go at my own discretion. And get Wendy’s- my one unhealthy food weakness >_>

    • Road trip food is both the best and worst thing in the world. Yeah O’Hare is the most annoying place I’ve ever been in my life. I used to love it though–when I never had any problems. Now O’Hare has messed with me, so I’ll slander their name all over the interwebz.

    • Lol yeah, I’m really tempting fate with this one, huh? I think I’ll be okay. Maybe not. If you don’t hear from me for a while, I’ll probably be in prison….

    • Yeah it was the worst. I wanted to pull my hair out. Yes, the angels are the ones that make everything okay and saved me from snapping. Trust me, it sucked the biggest balls. That paints a vivid picture 🙂

    • Yeah, I was lucky that someone came to my rescue. Not everyone is that fortunate. I used to not understand when people would say that they hated O’Hare, but now I get it. I totally get it.

  7. Your O’Hare story reminded me of this: I went to Basic Training at Great Lakes Naval Center. With great military wisdom, they fitted us for our Navy Blues the first week we were there. Although I weighed about a buck fifty when I went to Basic, I still lost ten pounds over the course of 12 weeks. Of course, my Blues would no longer fit. They were way too loose. No belt; just 13 buttons. So, back to O’Hare, I’m running to catch a flight and my pants fall down to my ankles. No joke! I trip. I’m like in some weird movie. Plus, I’m wearing these big, white, balloony boxer shorts that the Navy gave me. I pull my pants up and run holding them with one hand and carrying my sea bag with the other. I still missed my flight. It was quite a day. Later in life, I flew far too many times out of O’Hare. Today, I avoid O’Hare like the plague. I have never flown out of there that I wasn’t delayed. Never! I have never flown out of there where I did not feel the people were rude and not a bit helpful. I feel it is the worst airport in the country. I only connect in Atlanta or Dallas. I will never go through O’Hare. It truly does sucks! Good call “gag” Lilypad. HF

    • You’re obviously insanely jealous of my nickname.

      That does sound like something out of a movie! Crazy. I would’ve felt so bad for you when you fell, with your undies showing! But don’t get me wrong, I would’ve laughed too.

      It’s funny because I always used to think O’Hare was so great. It’s such a hellhole. It took this one bad day for me to realize it. Atlanta was a god airport, for sure. And they fly to a lot of destinations, so that’s nice too. Dallas Fort Worth can be kind of annoying sometimes too, don’tcha think?

      • Your mother would have kindly helped me up and probably bought a young sailor a cup of Joe. But, you, you would laugh! That says a lot, don’t you think. Meanwhile, Dallas-Ft Worth can be trying and JFK can really be a pain. But, I still think O’Hare takes the cake. Maybe it’s because they always seem to have bad weather. Anyway, sorry for your turmoil, but glad you got to spend more time with your momma. As for Lilypad, nah, too sweet for me. I’m staying with Tiger Lily. It suits you to a tee! All joy in staying warm and safe and away from O’Hare. HF

      • Thanks Harpsichord. Would it being embarrassing to admit that I gave myself the nickname Lilypad? Haha, but yes I agree, Tiger Lily fits my personality better. A beautiful but vicious creature. Keyword, Beautiful. Just kidding. But seriously.

        Thanks! It’s nice being home for a bit longer. I’m starting to miss my husband, but he gets me all the time. It’s nice to have some momma time too 🙂

  8. Nobody hates airports more than I do. I hate going to them, I hate passing by them. I used to live in Chicago, and every time someone mentioned O’Hare I think I suffered a small nervous breakdown. I’d like to go back in time, to the age of travel by steam ship or train. Although, train stations make me nervous too…

    • Sounds like you truly hate airports the most out of any person. Trains always seem like a cozy way to travel, like if you got your own compartment. Ships would probably make me sea-sick, which would definitely limit the places I could go.
      Glad we can agree that O’Hare is the worst.

    • Thank goodness I had my mom there, for sure. She really helped me out of a bad situation. If I was on my own, I probably would’ve sat and waited for 4 hours for my luggage. Ugh!

    • Aww thanks! I wouldn’t call them brilliant haha! But thanks!
      Glad you feel my pain…airports are the worst! I can’t believe you deal with luggage all the time!

  9. I normally love airports, especially O’Hare, because it has lots of places to eat when I’m on a stop-over from Toronto or Buffalo and I hate to admit, it’s fairly easy to get outside for a smoke. The numerous lines at security also make it easy to get back inside. Something I learned when my hobby was riding a motorcycle was to treat stuff, for instance getting lost, as an adventure. For me, that also applies to airports and their inherent problems. Except for the lineup to get on the runway.

    • Same! I used to say nothing but great things about O’Hare. When I went to university in England, I spent a lot of time in airports. Nothing would phase me, everything normally went smoothly. I never thought anything would go wrong.
      Today I flew and everything was fine. I guess it was just this one day where everything that could go wrong, did. And the people there have never been helpful, but I guess I didn’t focus on it because it didn’t bother me that much. But yeah, you have a good attitude! I hope that nothing like this happens to you! 😀

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