Teeth Tales

I went to the dentist today. I’ve always been one of those weird people who liked going to the dentist. I like the idea of people cleaning part of me so that I don’t have to. Regardless of how many cavities I had or how many X-rays I needed, I would always come out with shiny, clean teeth so the trips were always successful in my eyes. It’s totally not a big deal that I had 7 cavities at one time when I was eighteen. It was chic and cavities were really in that year I swear.

Today I only had one. That’s pretty good in my book. Up until I turned eighteen, I hadn’t ever had a cavity. It was something I would brag about. Now Novocain and I are bffs. I get to go back tomorrow and get my cavity worked on, so that should be fun. My dentist still lets me pick out sweet prizes so it’s always a pleasure to go back for more. They also have a dog. It’s a pretty chill place to hang out. Oh, and they also take music requests. I swear my dentist’s office isn’t in the back of some guy’s van. That’s what I’m making it sound like.

My dental hygienist was cleaning my teeth and asked me how flossing was going for me. I said, “How do you think it’s going?” And she said that it was okay, because if I flossed, my teeth would be in perfect condish. So I’ll remember that next time I feel like impressing my dentist.

Eating an apple tonight was probably a mistake because it will be stuck in my teeth for another 6 months, I’m sure of it.



33 thoughts on “Teeth Tales

  1. I currently have 4 apples sitting in my kitchen that my dad bought me. I’m afraid to eat them because as you suggested, they will be stuck in my teeth forever.

    I haven’t been to the dentist in years. I never had a cavity when I did go. I don’t have any pain and people tell me I have nice teeth. I have enough emotional pain and a little bit of physical pain to fix before worrying about my mouth. Worst case scenario I go on a liquid diet.

    • It always freaks me out when people haven’t been to the dentist in a long time, but it’s actually surprisingly common. At least you’ve never had a cavity. They suck so bad. Liquid diets are always good because then you can get super skinny. One time my family decided to do a liquid diet. We lasted for one jamba juice and then quit after that.

  2. I just don’t like going to the dentist because it’s so expensive. Is it expensive in America? To get a filling because of a cavity, costs about $200. Ahhhh!! I had to get my wisdom teeth out last year and it was going to be literally thousands of dollars to get them out while unconscious so instead I opted for two surgeries where I was awake. Hello scarred for life.

    • It IS super expensive. That’s the worst part. Otherwise I would probably live there just to have my teeth sparkling all the time. Omg my friend got his wisdom teeth out while he was awake too! So crazy and brave of you! I was fully knocked out because I had four wisdom teeth! My mom had zero. How is that fair?!

  3. I just learned keeping apples in the fridge makes them 12 times more appealing when you eat them cold. See that? “appealing” see what I did there? haha. except it’s spelled “peeling” so really, I’ve done nothing at all. Cheers!

  4. unfetteredbs says:

    Really 7 cavities at once? For real? I always get frustrated when they talk to me at the dentist. How do they expect you to respond when you have two hands and all kinds of tools hanging in your mouth? I am jealous that you get music at your dentist visit.

    • For really reals. It was the worst. I hate when they talk to me too. Even when they ask me yes or no questions, my response is always “AHUHKJKUH.”

      • unfetteredbs says:

        Dear Lily- I am cranky and I feel like I want to rub it in that I have only one tiny cavity. And I got it 3 years ago.
        Thank you for listening– Audra

      • Dear Audra (I almost spelled your name Adura and kept it that way because I thought it would be funny)
        Congrats on your stellar teeth. I hate you.


  5. My dentist and his assistant talk to each other whilst fisting my mouth hole. It’s uncomfortable to be in the middle of two people talking…….while drooling and gurgling.

    And good on ya, using that Canadian healthcare system that pretty much every American doesn’t ACTUALLY understand, but thinks they do because they’re hipster neck beards.

    • Ugh so uncomfortable. I hate when spit is like drooling down my face when they’re doing whatever they do. Someone should be there at all times to wipe up the slobber.

      I’m actually home right now in Chicago, so I’m not taking full advantage of any health care! But I think my husband told me that dentistry isn’t covered by the system in Canada though. I literally am one of the people who doesn’t understand anything about health care. But at least I don’t have a neck beard…!

  6. Perfect condish! haha! I think I’ve taken exceptional care of your dental needs over the years. Perhaps having someone clean your teeth for you every 6 months made you and your brother feel there was no need to floss? I’m pretty sure that’s what you were both thinking. In which case, I should have neglected you – then you would have felt a greater need for self care. Live and learn.

    • Probably not though. Even if we were neglected, do you really think we would floss? lol
      But yeah we were taking care of and had all the nice treatments! Thanks momma!

  7. My old dentist always wanted to scrape plaque off my teeth, last time there was so little to scrape I sat there with bleeding gums after for around fifteen minutes. Thankfully, I have since moved and been given a clean bill of dental health. The fiance has no fillings and was last told not to bother going back for two years! I can only surmise it is due to the fact he has not drunk coke in years.

    • Omg that’s crazy about your fiancé. Maybe I should stop drinking soda? Nahh. Bleeding gums sounds super painful. I hate when the hygienists are too heavy handed and not gentle. Ugh.

  8. Hey I went to the dentist today also! I like the dentist, as well. and I don’t mind tooth pain either, which is weird to some people. The funny thing about my dentist adventure this morning is that every dentist that sat next to my face had gassy stomachs, so all I heard was weird growling noises. It was fun.

    • Hahah omg that’s so awkward and embarrassing for your dentists! But it would prove to be pretty funny. I hate when my stomach makes noises. It’s like my body is betraying me!

  9. Pete Howorth says:

    I used to get a lot of cavities as a kid, too many sweets and not enough brushing, since then my teeth are mainly fine; the dentist I’m going to now (who looks a lot like Liam Neeson) wants to remove the root out of one of my teeth :S if he ever went for it I’d probs be too scared to say no, he may kill me hah.

    The only thing I need to go to the dentist for is to fix my broken front tooth, broke it when I was a kid so every now and then I’ll do something that breaks it again.

    You should see my dad go to dentist, he went once and they hit a nerve while working on him so everytime he goes now he had to have a valium, shaking like a shitting dog he was. He didn’t go for like ten years, then when he finally went had to have half his teeth removed and now he’s got dentures!

    • Omg I can’t believe that about your dad. I would be terrified of the dentist if something like that happened to me. Actually, something like that did happen, and I like, jolted, straight up out of my seat. So painful. Smart move with dentures–safer that way.

      That’s crazy that your tooth keeps breaking. Do you need a fake one to replace it?

      • Pete Howorth says:

        Nah I chipped it on a metal rail when I was a good so I used to get it capped which always came off, then I had like a tooth built around it which recently broke so I had to have that fixed again, it’s so annoying. The doctor suggested a veneer which is like £400 but that’s too much to spend on one tooth!

    • Yeah same! I guess maybe I connect the dentist with cutting class because my mom would always schedule appointments in the middle of the school day! Haha

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