Feelings

The Five Stages of Deleting Facebook


There comes a time in every person’s life when a drastic choice is made on a whim. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to delete my Facebook account. Keep in mind that you can’t truly delete your account, you can only deactivate it. This makes it possible to go back whenever you’re ready. Which is most likely the day after you deactivate your profile. After being off of Facebook for two weeks, this is how my coping process played out:

1. Denial. I felt as though I didn’t really delete my Facebook. I could go back whenever I wanted. It was still there. My friends were right where I left them in case I needed them. Of course, I would eventually need to retrieve some pictures off of my profile as well, so I knew I would be back soon.

2. Anger. Whenever people asked me if I deleted my Facebook, it made me upset. Aren’t I the center of everyone’s Facebook? Do they really have to ask? Of course I deleted it! I’m not a clone like everyone else! I can live a life without a stupid website if I want to! No one understands me!

3. Bargaining. Sometimes after a shock, a person will recount the events in their head and see where they might have reacted the wrong way. Maybe I should’ve waited to see if anyone got engaged or posted wedding photos. Okay, here’s the deal–if I go on Facebook just to quickly check for juicy pictures, I won’t go on again for another month.

4. Depression. This was the time that I was feeling like I made a horrible choice. I felt like I was misunderstood and others didn’t comprehend my motives for quitting. During this phase, reassurance definitely helped me to know that I made a good choice. It’s hard to bid a loved one farewell.

5. Acceptance. Understanding that I didn’t need Facebook to have friends and stay in touch with people was a great awakening. I felt proud knowing that a website didn’t control my life and that I could leave any time I wanted to. I no longer felt that I needed to see every single picture that one of my friends posted or every status update about New Years Eve.

That being said, I missed Facebook a lot. And it helped to know that people missed me a lot too. People noticed my absence. So I stayed off Facebook for two weeks and shuffled my feet back. And it’s good to be back on my old familiar Facebook.

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55 thoughts on “The Five Stages of Deleting Facebook

  1. I just closed down my facebook, maybe a week ago. Eek! I’m hoping it’s a permanent decision, but after reading these very familiar stages I’m thinking I should prepare my “I’m back” status update. 😉 Loved the post!

    • That’s so crazy! We both quit around the same time! If you want it to be permanent, then it probably will be. I quit knowing that I would come back sooner or later…hah! Thanks so much for stopping by!

      • 🙂 It must have been something in the air that day. And no worries, I’m around most of the time, but I’m trying to make a concentrated effort to comment more so you’ll probably see my pointless comments more often, yay! haha!

  2. I’m on facebook , i don’t know why because i never use it i think its a total waste of time.

    Some people spend hours on it telling the world their private business, i think thats wrong

    It must be nearly two months since i went near it.

    • Yeah the whole thing is kind of stupid. Most of the people that I’m “friends” with, I haven’t talked to in years. Oh well. If you have no urge to use it, you might as well delete it right? What’s the point?

      • HELP, i have been in FB a few times and cannot find how to delete the account.

        Also can i start a new account just for my web site posts

      • You can deactivate the account easily by going to the right hand corner of the facebook screen and clicking the little star/wheel looking thing. Click account settings and then go on the left hand side of the screen and click security. At the bottom of the list after Active Sessions should be little blue words that say “Deactivate your account” which means you will kind of delete it but you can always go back to it if you want to. If you want to fully delete it, I will find out how to do that but I think it takes a very long time. And yes, you can make a new account for your website but you might have to have a new email for it. Hope that helped!

      • That is clear Lily thank you, i can’t use a new email as its linked to both my sites, so my posts would not be sent to FB, any other thoughts, your the expert 🙂

      • Hmm I’m not sure. Maybe you can just delete your old profile for good, if you don’t want to ever go back to it and then make a new one with your same email just for your website.

  3. I deleted mine, passed the two weeks and never thought about going back.
    Somewhere, there is a farmville growing strongly on the remains of my mafia war.

    Nope, don’t miss it at all.

    • Hahah Farmville and Mafia War! Omg Facebook really outdid themselves when they brought in the games. I wish I could be as strong as you. I hate to admit that I missed mine…

  4. You can actually delete it, it takes a few weeks ‘to give you time to change your mind’ (-: I deactivated mine just before Christmas. I went through and deleted all my photographs so FB couldn’t use any of them to advertise their products. I deleted everything off my timeline because even if you deactivate, your timeline can be viewed by you friends, and their friends. This took me days.
    The reason i didn’t delete completely is because I have a page for the film I’m making that already has fans and I’m afraid if I delete it, someone else will start the film page which I wont have any control over. So, I’m going to sneak on once we’re in pre-production (Feb), delete 500 friends off my personal page and keep it private and administer my film page.
    I’m going to blog about the reasons why I’m off FB. There are many concerns for me, as a photographer and an individual. The day i decided to drop FB I saw some graffiti on a wall in the city. It said ‘Cool people don’t FB’ (-:

    • Yeah my friend told me that it takes like twenty days to delete it or something? I didn’t want to mention it on my post because I figured it would just confuse people. Hah! I can totally see why you would want to stay on to monitor your film’s page. That’s exciting–congrats on making a film! That’s not easy feat!
      I deleted 100 friends so far and it felt much better. I need to take all of my pictures off and slowly delete my timeline as well–good idea.
      Haha so true about cool people not facebooking! Words of wisdom!

  5. Ummm…. wait, what? Two weeks and you went crawling back!! Where’s the self discipline in that? Only kidding! Do as you wish 🙂 Although I agree with the graffiti – cool people do not facebook. I guess you’re the exception?

    • I needed my things! I needed my pictures (for posts of course) and to log into other websites through facebook. And to stalk people, obviously. I would say that most people, whether or not they want to admit it, have facebooked once in their lives. I don’t think there are many cool people left in this world, sadly.
      But yes, I am always the exception.

    • Hahah I know what you mean! I could complain about it all day and night, but when it comes down to it, I must truly love it! Addicts unite…

  6. That;s brilliant! The only reason,really, I am still on Facebook appears to be to berate my friends for being so stupid as to have Facebook! 🙂

  7. My daughter deleted her Facebook about a year ago and she said she doesn’t miss it at all. I, on the hand, am one of those old people with Facebook. Like Harry says, I don’t know why I have it. I don’t really get it. What I think is really weird is when you leave a comment and the person doesn’t leave a comment back, they just “like” your comment. What? I don’t get that. And when people invite you to play Farmville. Huh? And there’s a couple of people my age who want me to play Farmville with them. Why? I just ignore it. I don’t know what that’s all about! HA! But for some reason I’m going to keep my account –mainly because I’m too lazy to figure out how to deactivate it.

    • Yeah “liking” is a weird way of acknowledging people’s comments without having to say anything. It’s pretty weird. I like blogging a lot better. Hah Farmville is an addictive facebook game that should never be played. I played it a lot in college and it was an amazing time waster.
      Keep your account because it’s a good way to keep in touch with people, just in case you don’t know how to reach them, right? Or in case you need to look at someone’s pictures…and stalk them.

      • That liking thing just really bugs me. To me it says I’m glad your thinking about me but I’m way too busy and important to acknowledge you other than just clicking on this thumb.

        I never play video games. I am horrible at it. It took me 45 minutes once to get once around the track in Mario Cart. And my eyes were watering the whole time. I couldn’t get out of the grass and when I did I was going the wrong way. It was like a bad dream except my eyes never water when I dream. HA!

        I will keep my account though. Mainly because I have no idea how to delete it! LOL! 😀

      • Hahaha the visual of you playing Mario Kart for 45 minutes made me crack up! Hahaha omg. You are my hero.
        Lol..don’t delete your account because people need to have a little Linda in their lives..

  8. unfetteredbs says:

    I have a love hate relationship with facebook. But I am more of an evil psycho- I stay “active” but block people from posting on my page and I block certain people from seeing my posts. I get some pretty nasty messages — buggers. Hey if you don’t give a &^% about me in real life then no you cannot see my stuff YO!
    I stay on it to stalk my daughters. It is such the “six degrees of separation”
    I hate to admit that it is fun… sigh. See I suffer your infliction

    • Haha that’s awesome! Nothing better than facebook fights. I can’t believe you get nasty messages! That’s so weird to me. But yeah, I totally agree–if people aren’t your friends in real life, why would they want to be your “friend” on facebook? It’s all just so dumb.
      I just like to use it for juicy gossip from people from my high school. And to keep in touch with friends too, of course!

  9. There are many reasons why I hate Facebook but also many reasons why I still have it, watching the uneducated people that live near me have arguments via Facebook, annoying friends by posting embarrassing photos, stalking without having to leave the house which is particularly useful in winter and deleting people I’ve added just to make them feel like losers.

    • Those are all reasons why Facebook was a great invention. Making people’s lives miserable is the best thing about life. I went through a 100 person deleting spree the other day. It felt so good!

  10. I’m on FB, but I kinda hate it. I hate it more with every change they make. I preferred it when it was just for college peeps. The next two updates were okay, but now it’s just madness. I only really keep it to randomly announce things and warn people about stupid companies (or ruin their reputations as best I can). I also keep it because I am far too lazy to download years of pictures. It’s like a free cloud drive or whatever. Lol.
    As for the deactivation stuff, and people crawling back, I just laugh. If you don’t want to sign in every day, just don’t! The whole deactivation thing is totally unnecessary. UNLESS you’re hiding from the aliens. THEN you need to get that ish off the web.

    • Same! I loved when it was only for college students and that you had to have a student email address. It really is madness, you’re right. Yeah I think I’m just going to use it sporadically and try not to go on as much, because I do need my pictures and stuff! Hah..

  11. Hahaha, yes, Facebook… I’ve been refusing to open an account until April 2011. Suddenly everyone was like ‘why are you on fb??’. It is quite boring but useful, sometimes. And it’s perhaps a good thing to see what pictures of you are being spread… Untag untag untag.

    • I can’t believe you held out for so long! That’s awesome that you didn’t have one until now. It’s good for when you’re in university because then you can keep track of people and message them if you don’t have their email or phone number or something like that. Ugh I hate being tagged in gross pictures! :/

      • Yes, indeed, it’s a good way to stay in touch, and it’s also easy for whan you’ve got questions about what to learn and stuff.
        There once was a picture of me that was incredibly ugly and I was tagged in it, but I untagged myself as soon as possible. It looked like I was killing the guy I was shaking hands with… with my eyes :D. I looked like a demon or something.

    • Oh yeah I heard that you could actually delete your account for good. Thanks for the link! I don’t know if I’m ready to take the full plunge though. Baby steps..

  12. I realised it was time to come off facebook when I unfriended my ex but then it dawned on me I could still snoop on his profile because he was friends with my dog (yes even my dog has a profile) not one of the prouder moments of my life! I’ve been off for about two weeks now and as much as I might wonder what my friends are having for tea I think I can live without knowing, for now 🙂

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