French, Movies, Music

Les Miserables Moments That My Mind Can’t Erase

When I really look forward to a movie, I’ll build it up in my mind, imagining a perfect show. Les Miserables gave me great expectations. With an all-star cast, great songs, and Anne Hathaway in tears, how could this movie not be amazing? And for the most part, it was really good. There were just a few things that my mind had trouble getting past. I concentrated so much on these minor movie details that these are now my only memories of the film.

Eponine’s Waist. An important character in the story is Eponine, a girl in love with a guy who doesn’t really notice her. She sings one of the best songs in the entire movie, so props to her. The thing is, I don’t even know what her face looked like because I couldn’t see anything past her belted mannequin-esque wasit. It’s not even that she looked unhealthy, it’s just that her waist is abnormally tiny. She should’ve composed a song about her body structure rather than her crush.

Can we have a moment of silence for this waist?

Can we have a moment of silence for this waist?

Cockney Accents. Okay, I know that the film is spoken (or sang) in English and most of the characters have British accents because we’re used to it. They do this with most period pieces even if they don’t take place in England. But some of the characters in the film tried to do a French accent (snaps for Sacha Baron Cohen!) and it’s confusing because most of the characters had proper British and even cockney accents! I don’t remember any Cockneys in early 19th century Paris. If all of the actors in the movie are as great as we accredit them to be, then shouldn’t they be able to do a French accent as well as sing?

Helena Bonham Carter is Type-Cast as Dirty. At this point, I cannot name a movie where Helena Bonham Carter isn’t unkempt in one way or another. Even on the red carpet it looks like she might have yesterday’s makeup on or something. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of HBC and I think she has mad skills. I have to applaud her for her recent love of singing what with Sweeney Todd and now Les Mis. But I wish she would class up her act and stop being so grungy.

Look how clean she used to be in her Lady Jane days.

Look how clean she used to be in her Lady Jane days.

Amanda Seyfried has the Voice of an Angel. I actually don’t care for Amanda Seyfried that much–I don’t care for any actress that takes off their clothes for a role. I mean, to each his own, but seriously, just no. I hate most actresses, is what I’m trying to say. Anyway, in the movie, Ms. Seyfried’s character Cosette not only gets to marry the hottie Marius (Eddie Redmayne), but she also has a voice that makes me hate her. If I could sing like that I would sing lullabies to myself. Although in high school, my choir teacher gave me a trophy and said I had the voice of an angel. I was an angel who couldn’t read sheet music and had to listen to the other people singing around me and copy them. So angelic.

Russel Crowe = Snoozefest. I forgot how boring the part of Javert could be before I saw Russel Crowe act it out on the big screen. Javert is the antagonist to Jean Valjean’s (Hugh Jackman) protagonist. Javert just wants to serve the law and make sure everyone is punished for their crimes. He manages to sing about this over and over and it’s like, DUDE WE GET IT. Another thing that bugged me were the locations that he chose to vocalize his thoughts. He would randomly sing on the top of buildings,  the ledges of bridges, and in alleyways. Figure your life out, Javert.

In my head, this is the entire movie/musical summed up. I urge you to see the movie and test yourself to look past these details. Lets compare notes–which were your most memorable scenes/characters/events?


56 thoughts on “Les Miserables Moments That My Mind Can’t Erase

    • Trust me, if I had that waist, I would see nothing wrong with it either. It’s like perfection.
      To answer your question, yes. I REALLY enjoyed finding the Catfish TV show today on MTV. It’s basically like the movie, but summed up in hour long segments. It’s awesome.

  1. LOL!! I agree with all of your assessments, especially that girl’s waist. Let’s be honest, it’s scary. Where will the baby go if she gets pregnant? Hell, where does her food go when she eats? She obviously has no stomach, intestines, bladder or uterus. That’s so obvious. She freaks me out.
    Russell Crowe was a major snooze fest -TRUE!

    The only reason to go is to watch Eddie Redmayne and Hugh Jackman. HJ was excellent, I’d say. I could have used more Anne Hathaway torture scenes, but that’s just me. Just Kidding!!! haha!

    • Haha! True about her innards–where are they? Maybe they’re just lower because it seems like she has hips so maybe they’re in there?
      Also true about Eddie and Hugh. Lol I could totally use a director’s cut Anne Hathaway head shaving scene for sure…haha!

  2. ZZ says:

    All your views here are funny, especially about the waist. How does she function as a mammal without any room inside her body for organs like a liver and a pancreas? Her kidneys must be the size of golf balls…

    • Haha totally! She almost looks deformed doesn’t she? Maybe she’s wearing a corset. She has to be. Maybe she only has one kidney? Maybe she sold her other one or something? I’m trying to unlock the mystery here…

  3. After slogging through that book, I NEED to watch this movie (plus, how can I not watch a film with both Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham-Carter in it? 😉 ). I’m crossing my fingers that they make Gavroche as awesome as I found him in the novel. But it comes out on the 11th for us Brits. >.< That waist is absolutely ridiculous though; I'm sure they'll be another article on unrealistic Hollywood representations soon enough. Just wait until the English papers get a hold of it–complaining is their forte.

    • Oh yeah, definitely! I remember reading Wicked and it took me forever and I was so confused during the middle of it, so I made a point to see the musical. I know the feeling. Gavroche was really good and cute–he was one of the cockneys that I was talking about 🙂
      Hah that’s why I love England, I love a bit of complaining myself!

  4. Lil, I know I’m supposed to see this but ehhhh, it’s over 2 hours long! I’ve read the book, twice! I don’t think any good can come from a Les Mis movie and I think Anne Hathaway kinda bugs me for some reason. Brava to you for going!

  5. Pete Howorth says:

    Did Russell Crowe speak in a cockney accent?! I’ll opt not to see it as I feel I would be les miserables after doing so.

    On a side note, I can’t believe you deactivated your Facebook account, I can barely bring myself to even go there anymore. How will you see all the saucy photo’s of me now 😦

    • No, he just did a regular old, British one. He should’ve done an Australian one and confused everyone.
      Aww you’re like, the ONLY ONE who missed me on facebook. Damn I miss you and your ‘ard pictures. Maybe I’ll activate it and go back to my old ways….haha I lasted 2 weeks without it!

      • Pete Howorth says:

        I’m sure the others suffered in silence, much like they must have protested in silence. People are fickle sometimes. It is nice to have a break from it every now and then though, it’s funny too because sometimes it’s also funny to let people think you’re actually still on it and you’ve blocked them.

  6. I wasn’t going to see it, now I might need to see it so I can throw my popcorn at the screen and scream ‘WHAT THE FAK IS THIS SHIT’ in my best cockney accent, for comparison purposes.

  7. Sandy says:

    […]At this point, I cannot name a movie where Helena Bonham Carter isn’t unkempt in one way or another[…]
    Here’s a little list of movies you might want to watch then:

    A Pattern of Roses, Room with a view, Lady Jane, Hazard of Hearts, Arms and the Man, Where angels fear to tread, Howards End, A dark adapted Eye, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Mighty Aphrodite, Twelfth Night, Wings of the Dove, Keep the Aspidistra flying, Sweet Revenge, The Heart of me, Till Human Voices wake us, Live from Bagdad, Big Fish, Henry VIII, Conversations with other women, Magnificent 7, Enid, Alice in Wonderland, The King’s Speech, Toast, Dark Shadows

    Helena looks perfectly clean in all of them…just saying…

    • Hah well I also gave her plenty of compliments as well, you don’t have to defend her. If anything, I think she’d agree with me. It’s okay that you don’t get my sense of humor.

  8. Someone I recently spoke to tried to tell me that the sound didn’t match up with the actors’ lips. I could only manage the dumbfounded response that the actors didn’t even lip-sync, that it was all live and that therefore, their eyes were deceiving them. At least that’s not a reason to hate the movie. However, Éponine’s waist totally is.

    • Haha it’s crazy isn’t it? I think singing those songs is hard enough but when you have to sing ALL of your lines, it’s pretty intense! Eponine’s waist is so crazy I can’t even deal with it.

  9. I didn’t even notice her waist at all, and I guess that’s because I was appreciating her singing (I really liked the song), but apparently the actress had to wear a tight corset to manage the look – imagine trying to breathe, let alone sing with that thing on! (And in the rain, too.)

    I had a similar experience after leaving the film. I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not, because there were so many parts I liked and then their was… Crowe. Yup, he killed it for me. There was no passion to his voice at all, it was like he was reading the lyrics and trying to hit the notes so much that he couldn’t focus on putting more character into his voice. And his singing voice was way too high. In his rare spoken words, his voice would be low, and then all of a suddenly the pitch would go way up. If he’d sung it lower, I might have been able to at least sleep through his parts, instead of cringing all the way through them.

    And for some reason, I couldn’t focus on anything but the use of camera shots for at least the first half of the film. The cinematographer seems to be a fan of having the point of focus on the lower left of the screen, leaving the rest with a fuzzy, blob-like effect. And there was a lot of movement, so instead of staring at Hathaway’s face, for example, I found myself staring at a blob and trying to refocus every time the camera moved. Very distracting. I think it was intentional, though, because it wasn’t filmed in typical widescreen and some of the shots were, as I said, unfocused – I think they wanted it to feel raw, like the live singing.

    I really should see it again, though, because I couldn’t focus on the actual movie, and I didn’t know about the live singing when I saw it. I wouldn’t have been so judgemental if I’d known that the point of it was to feel “raw” and, I guess, a little bit indie. Still, I don’t want to sit through Crowe’s performances again!

  10. I really liked and appreciated Eponine’s song, On My Own, as well. I managed to look at her waist and listen to the song. It’s a great one. I could guess that she was wearing a corset. She looks pretty packed in her outfit.

    Yes I agree that Crowe wasn’t the best. His singing and his part were just so boring to me. I’ve seen him in other movies and he’s a great actor, but maybe just not for this part. I don’t know.

    The cinematography didn’t bother me too much, but I could see how it could distract people. There was a lot going on and sometimes filmmakers get too experimental for their own good.

    I know what you mean about seeing it again. There are parts that I really liked and would like to re-watch and others (like Crowe’s) that I don’t think I could do a second time! Hah

  11. I thought I was the only one who kept on staring at her waist.. thank god I’m not alone, I liked her dimples though, that was also another reason to just sit there and stare at her (hopefully it doesn’t sound creepy)

  12. Lily, its funny, I just recently saw Les Mis and every single one of those annoying aspects of the movie were things that bugged me too! I remember seeing Eponine’s waist and thinking, that must be trick photography or something and I remember watching Javert’s solos and thinking, ‘how is he not falling off this ledge that he only has half a foot’s width on’? And yes, the cockney accents in the middle of 19th century Paris… a strange directorial decision…perhaps they were used in the absence of the French equivalent. I can’t speak French but maybe there was an equally endearing ghetto street Parisian accent back then. I’ve read a bit of your blog, great work!

    • Haha I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one! Eponine’s waist was not human. Like no one, not even a starving person should have a waist like that. Javert was soo boring, it would’ve been nice to see him fall off the ledge early…!

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  13. Oscar says:

    The one role where HBC has not played a grungy role is in King’s Speech as the king’s wife. Next time check your sources.

    • Of course she’s had other non grungy roles. Did I or did I not post of picture of her from her clean Lady Jane days? I was also semi joking sooo yeah.

  14. Peggy says:

    I had most or all of these thoughts watching this too. The accent thing always gets me, including when I’ve seen it on the stage (many times!). Its supposed to demonstrate the difference between classes, but SBC throwing in the random French accent killed it for me, in my opinion, and you can do that with American accents just as well. American production –> American accent!! Or go French all the way. I also got the humor re your HBC comment — H Potter, Sweeny T., its a thing with her these days for sure. And I am totally over the skinny chick, but she can sing!

    • So glad you understood what I was getting at!
      You’re right about American production needing American accents. I guess American accents are as European sounding as British accents? The cockney accents do demonstrate that they were of poorer standing for sure, but it just seemed so out of place in what was supposed to be Paris. Hah oh well.

  15. fleur says:

    The actress who played eponine was wearing a corset which was fashionable at the time in which the film is set, even nowadays corsetry is still practiced by women who either have medical conditions (usually back problems) or who aim to achieve the ‘perfect waist’. Some men also practice corsetry but it is mainly women, you can find videos of people who wear corset on youtube.

    • Haha thanks, I know what a corset is, but even so, I feel like her waist looked smaller than anyone’s I’ve ever seen in a corset. I just found it crazy especially since people look bigger in movies. But thanks for the facts! 🙂

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