What’s wrong with you, you crazy slut?
I see you’ve been off the pill.
What if your child is one gigantic butt?
Did you realize that you’re legally married to Kris Humphries still?
Kanye must be feeling proud—giving you his seed.
He’ll probably want to dress you though–he seems to feel the need.
Buying new pregnancy clothes could end up being fun.
It’s unfortunate that you’ll gain 50 pounds before you’re done.
To think of Khloe in all this must upset you.
She’s always wanted a baby too.
You probably don’t care because you all compete.
Khloe is stuck babysitting Rob. And we know they like to eat.
How do you come up with such good money-making schemes?
It’s almost as if you plan all of those dramatic reality scenes.
First it was a sex tape, then of course a fake marriage,
I didn’t think you would ever find more ways for disparage.
But now you’re stuck with Kanye,
There will always be a link,
He rapped about avoiding gold diggers,
Being stuck with you, well, that’s gotta stink.
I hope you pick a good baby name,
I hope it’s something the public can stand.
Maybe something more traditional and tame
Instead of Penelope Scotland.