Harold and Maude 2.0

Okay this is a really weird idea that I thought of while watching Small Time Crooks. This is how my brain works, for real. You should feel bad for me.

I propose that Woody Allen and I produce a remake of Harold and Maude where I play the Harold character and he plays the Maude character. There wouldn’t be any cross dressing, just reverse roles. Maybe Harriett and Milton or something like that. This idea is still fresh–I clearly haven’t worked out all the details yet.

I think the casting would be pretty perfect. For those of you who haven’t see Harold and Maude, stop reading my ramblings and go watch it already. Too bad Blockbuster doesn’t exist anymore. Renting movies is one of the best things ever. Netflix is so dumb and Redbox is literally the worst thing ever. The selection is always like: Three Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, The Raven (you know that really bad mystery where John Cusack played Edgar Allen Poe? No? You don’t recall that gem?), like five movies no one has ever heard of, and Magic Mike. I wish I was kidding.

Anyway, the actor who plays Harold, Bud Cort, didn’t really do anything with the rest of his career besides a cameo in Arrested Development. I feel like I was the only person who appreciated his cameo since no one else really knows who he is. Except perhaps the people that cast him in the show. I feel like I could do that. Star in one really good movie and then do nothing else. I’m not saying that my Harold and Maude remake would be really good, but yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

*Just looked it up and Bud Cort has actually done a lot with his career. Just nothing as good as Harold and Maude. Sorry Bud.

Harold is a twenty-something man child who has been given everything in life. He is hapless and expresses his emotions by nearly executing his own suicide daily. He doesn’t have much to say. He likes to go to funerals. And he also drives a hearse. I feel like I could be him. The part of Harold doesn’t involve a lot of acting skills. All I would have to do is perfect my “I’m miserable” face which I luckily have already perfected.

I think the tricky part would be getting Woody Allen to not only agree to the part of Maude, but to also tone down his Jewishness. He would probably agree to the part because it would involve a young lady falling in love with him. He tends to pick roles where pretty girls that are totally out of his league fall for him. I wonder why?

Maude’s character is 79 years old and is the complete opposite of Harold. She doesn’t have much, but she is grateful for everything she’s been given. She lives life to the fullest and sees the beauty in everything. She steals cars, saves nature, and also enjoys a good funeral. A match made in heaven, really.

Another bonus to the movie is that the entire soundtrack is compiled of Cat Stevens songs. Cat Stevens A.K.A. Yusuf Islam is a musical genius. He would definitely agree to the remake of Harold and Maude. To be perfectly honest, his music made the movie what it is.


21 thoughts on “Harold and Maude 2.0

    • Well thanks! At least someone appreciates my artistic endeavors. So true. I looked it up and he’ll be 77 in December. He’ll pretty much be the perfect age!

  1. You’re so tall the oxygen is not getting to your brain right. At least you’re being proactive?

    I never saw Harold and Maude, older movies I always gotta be in the mood for and they never disappoint.

    The best thing about Redbox is when there are straight to video movies that try tricking you into thinking it’s the real one. “The Hunger Sports” had a much smaller budget than the Jennifer Lawrence film with a similar name and plot.

    • Thanks for looking on the bright side. Dude, get in the mood and watch Harold and Maude already. Before I talk it up too much and it’s not actually that good when you watch it.
      Hahah the Hunger Sports. The straight to video movies are usually more entertaining than the ones that actually do well. Nothing more fun than watching bad acting.

  2. Pete Howorth says:

    I thought this was a sequel to Harold and Kumar, boy was I sadly mistaken.

    I hate old movies; why are they even still around? If they’re good enough they’ll get remade with added PEW PEW PEW and BLAM, *whistles* BOOM!

    That’s what it’s all about.

    • Hahah this is my favorite comment so far. Granted, yours is only the third comment, but still.
      I mean, I could probably do some kind of Harold and Kumar remake but it probably end up with me wearing a bunch of brown makeup and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

  3. unfetteredbs says:

    the music from harold and maude is top notch but the movie ..ehh. Take it or leave it.
    Now — go to the library and get your movies. Do they do that in Canada? We have the most awesome movie selection at my library and we buy almost whatever people ask for– how cool is that? Ok nerd alert..sorry> I’ll leave

    • Hah you crazy librarian! That is pretty sweet though. I forgot that you could do that at the library! I always like to own my own books for some reason that’s why I never think to go there. But maybe it’s a good idea for movies?

      • unfetteredbs says:

        I like to own my own books too. But I am shaking my head and wagging my old lady library finger at you– GO to your local library– it is FREE for goodness sakes.. ok now I am really leaving..

  4. I think you’re right. Hollywood doesn’t make nearly enough movies where pretty young girls fall for old men for no reason. Just like in real life, when Anna Nicole Smith fell madly in love with some bankrupt old man…

    I have to say though, now that you’ve mentioned Cat Stevens, I DO really want to watch the movie.

    • Hah true. What an odd concept. RIP Anna Nicole. What an inspiration…
      Cat Stevens is so awesome. Have you seen the movie? If not, give it a watch! It’s way before it’s time. Such a sweet story.

  5. Addie says:

    I love, love, love this movie!! To remake it would be interesting, not so sure about Woody–I fear he’d want to ‘explore’ the lovemaking scene on too personal a basis, knowwhatimean?

    • LOL you’re the THE ONLY person I know who loves this movie as much as I do!
      The idea is definitely far fetched, but I think it’s doable! Haha

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