It’s hard for me to trace back my thought process in order to explain how I came up with this topic. I believe I was eating Lucky Charms and thinking about the Trix Rabbit and what a rough life he has. What’s more sad: a cartoon rabbit’s non-existent life, or the fact that I can’t even keep my cereal mascots straight?
I’ll start with the Trix Rabbit. Clearly, the guy likes his colorful cereal. He does whatever he can to get his hands on a box of Trix and his plans always eventually get spoiled by children that claim “Trix are for kids!” Okay honestly, says who? I could go to the grocery store right now and buy some Trix and no one would stop me. Those kids are actually perpetuating bullying and I don’t think it’s right. No one taught them how to share I guess. How is the Trix Rabbit not allowed to eat his own brand’s cereal? I feel like we should get an army of cereal mascots on the case to punish these kids. Or am I taking this too far?
Daffy Duck is another character that never really gets lucky. Unfortunately, his rival is Bugs Bunny who tends to be overly lucky. I mean, the guy gets put in a boiling caldron of water and doesn’t die. Slightly unfair. Whenever Elmer Fudd is about, Bugs tells him that it’s Duck Hunting Season which is most likely a lie. Daffy usually tries defending himself but always ends up getting shot. His beak spins around a couple of times and that’s that. I’d like to see Bugs get shot and I’m not ashamed of that.
Wait. What if Bugs Bunny is really the Trix Rabbit in hell and his punishment is to always hunger for Trix while his craving is never satisfied? I should write a book on that theory.
I’m not super familiar with the TV show Tom and Jerry, but I do know that ill-fated Tom always gets the short end of the stick. All he wants is to eat Jerry, is that really so much to ask? Hanna and Barbera are super unrealistic if they think that a cat can’t catch a mouse. My cat caught birds. Birds don’t ever have to touch the ground if they don’t want to, yet my cat managed to catch
one twelve. Cats are awesome. The fact that Jerry also got to dance with Gene Kelly really burns me up inside. He’s so undeserving of such great attention. It should be Tom dancing there.
Lastly, I think Wile E. Coyote deserves some attention. He lives in the desert. He’s hungry. He wants to kill this stupid Road Runner. He comes up with amazing plans, most of which end up with an anvil on his head. The story is pretty heart breaking. The sad part is, Road Runner is oblivious to everything. Most of the time he doesn’t even realize that Wile E. Coyote is trying to catch him which makes it even more annoying. I think the real shame in this whole cartoon is how much the Acme corporation lets Wile E. down. He depends on them so much and they usually end up dropping crates on his head. I mean, he should really sue them. Then he could eat all the Road Runners he wants! Yeah, that’s the ticket.