Have you ever felt unsure of yourself? Unsure of how to back yourself up or defend your own thought process? Have you ever second-guessed your own opinion? Have you ever been so flustered or caught up with emotion that when you tried to make a point it didn’t really make sense?

I know it may seem like I’m perfect, but I get really flustered when I debate with people in real life (opposed to blog-life). I try to stay away from debates and confrontation all together, but sometimes my mouth says things before my brain can say “No wait! Don’t say that!” (Blogging is totally different though. I’ll say things to annoy people just because I find it HI-larious)

Some people are so eloquent the way they express themselves or take part in conversations. For the most part I find that I am relatively normal, but sometimes I feel like I can’t get my point across as well as other people can. I could totally relate to Miss South Carolina in the Miss Teen USA competition in 2007. I would’ve had a similar answer to hers. I can’t actually think of a good answer to the question she was asked even though I’ve had 5 years to ponder it. I’m surprised I haven’t answered any comments with simply, “Such as the Iraq and such as.”

I feel for this girl, I really do. During the spring I was asked to give a talk in my church. I was so nervous to speak in front of a crowd– everyone lingering on my words. Of course I my mom had written out what I was going to say word for word, but I was still scared. Before I stood up to give my talk, I kept telling myself I love public speaking. I love standing in front of people. I love it, I really do. I really didn’t. But I got it over with and felt good afterwards. I couldn’t imagine being asked a question in front of an audience, not knowing what to say next.

I honestly don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore. Most of my posts tend to do this, if you haven’t noticed. I’ll start talking about one thing and then end up on a totally different subject that doesn’t even apply to the title of my post.


56 thoughts on “Tongue-Tied

  1. Pete Howorth says:

    Hahaha you’re funny. 🙂 I don’t mind confrontation, not a fan of public speaking though, though people tell me I’m good at it and try to convince me I should try stand up comedy. Screw that.

    Confrontations I’m alright at though, if I feel like I’m losing an argument I just turn into PETE SMASH mode.

  2. Addie says:

    One of the joys of your posts are you start at Point A and move on to Point B by way of Points J, N, Q and W (although not in that order). I’m glad you had a chance to speak and that someone wrote out what you had to say. Imagine having to do both the writing AND the speaking! No, thank you, and such as stuff like that.

    • Yeah I’ve never tried picturing people in their underwear because my nerves just take over! Good to know it doesn’t work anyway. Yeah one on one I am much better, but I still tend to fumble a bit…

  3. As much as I would love to meet you in person, I think you would be highly disappointed with me if you ever met me. I am far more eloquent when I write than I am when I’m talking off the top of my head. And I’m not even all that eloquent when I write, so that should tell you something.

    • The clip is just too good, right? One of my favorite moments in history. I would NEVER be disappointed if I met you in person. I would be so excited. And I’m sure you are totes eloquent. You are one of the best writers on this whole damn website so don’t even think like that honey!

  4. Grandpa Chet, the MormonYoYoMan says:

    There are them who say the Number One fear that people have, is public speaking. (What people? I’m pretty sure that women living under Shariah law have much more deadly things to fear.) So you’re not alone. Come to think of it, I’ve never found out who “Them” was until recently: http://tinyurl.com/2jmanm

    *jeep! & God Bless

    • I think you’re right Grandpa Chet. I can’t watch the link right now, but I will watch it later and tell you what I think. Public speaking is bad, but it could definitely be worse! Thanks for stopping by!

    • Omg I know right? I almost don’t want to talk to people other than my family and Paul. No one else understands me. You are witty Jells, and I’m sure we would get along swimmingly in real life.

  5. unfetteredbs says:

    Recently I had to go to this meeting representing my boss/library. It was this big ta-doo. So this big fiery discussion ensued, as I was sitting there with my mouth shut–trying to crawl under the table and hide, they called me out and asked me what my library’s position was on the matter(full knowing my boss HATED what they were saying)– I froze worse than that miss teen america– my mouth gaping wide..nothing came out. But then wait for it– I choked and said I DON”T KNOW. I knew the answer, why did I say that? After turning violently red– I recovered, made a joke and finally answered the question. Afterwards, I ran to my car and smacked my head against the window a few times. I think the stupid meeting was recorded.. can you say FIRED?
    (sorry for the ramble.. I am still feeling my pain)

    • Omgggg what a nightmare. That is honestly me though. I just sit there, knowing I should say something but I just can’t because I know it’s the opposite of what people want to hear. HA of course it would be recorded. OF COURSE. That’s just the cherry on top, right? You won’t get fired, don’t worry. You’re too smart and awesome to get fired. Your library is lucky to have you!

      • unfetteredbs says:

        laughing.. I am praying they do not type up the meeting minutes word for word.. doh!
        thanks for the kind words. No i won’t get fired but I’ll have to kiss some you know what for awhile :0)

  6. This is the world I feel comfortable in. I like people who ramble , stutter, stammer, make incoherent sentences, jump off and on the thought train, etc. And do you notice that I use “etc.” like all the time? It’s because I rely on other people to fill in the blank with their own more intelligent thoughts. Haha!

  7. I hear ya. If I was to sit down with anyone from this blogging thing we would have the most epically awkward time possible. I also know about that Church talk thing. Every single time I’ve done that or another speech, every single word has been type out before hand. Even the “good morning, bro and sis.” I think I’m nervous just thinking about it. And now I’m a 2nd counselor, so I will have to give lessons at some point. Oh Jeez……where’s my paper sack…

    • Yep. Same with my talks. Always start with “Good morning brothers and sisters…” yep yep yep. Oh yeah, if we had a blogging party, I would be hands down the weirdest one there. With the dumbest things to say. Don’t be nervous about church stuff–everyone will support you and you’ll be fine!

    • Yeah same. I was in college at the time and everyone was like “She’s so stupid!” and I probably just agreed with them even though on the inside I was thinking how I would’ve said the same things! Sad times.

  8. That video is amazing, but it really is a daft question.

    Many people are uncomfortable debating about things with people. It’s easy to get angry, and then you start spitting out nonsense which makes you even more flustered.

    Oh, and rambling from one subject to another is fine. Mooselicker is an expert at it, and it’s why I like his blog.

    • Hah it’s a pretty great video. How embarrassing. Hah Mooselicker is the king of ramble, but he makes it flow perfectly for some reason. I don’t know how he does it.
      Do you think people like to debate or just like having a reason to yell at someone else?

  9. Peaches says:

    Ohhhh…I’m not a great public speaker. I like to think I could still come up with something better than what she said (silence anybody?), but I might be reduced to incoherent, illogical rambling too.

  10. Muahahaha, poor girl :). The one in the video I mean. I’m quite sure you would give a way more decent answer. ‘Let me think about it’ should have been well too, you know.
    I used to be scared of it, but last year, I did an entire speech without having written it down. I decided upon my subject a few minutes before I had to speak up. But I trambled a little, yes :). It’s something you have to get used to, I guess…

    • Yeah, it’s definitely something you have to get used to. I don’t think I would choose to do it, but some people actually like public speaking. So weird! I took a couple of speech classes and I always did relatively well. Maybe I’m just a good actress? Hah. Good for you for choosing a topic so quickly before you had to talk! Nice work!

  11. I stopped reading after the first sentence. I didn’t think this would apply to me.

    Kidding, I’m either a fabulous public speaker or a terrible one. I think I usually start off great but one little hiccup and I’m done. It also depends on what the reaction I want to get from the crowd is. Am I trying to be funny? If they’re not laughing I’m dead. Am I trying to be serious? If I’m trying to be serious than I’m not the person who should be giving a speech. I think I get more flustered when I’m cut off guard and alone than with a group. It’s the pack mentality in me.

    • Good joke. Yeah I guess I’m kind of the same way really. Depends on the crowd too. If I’m trying to be funny and everyone is appreciating my humor then I’m on top of the world. If I go for a racist joke too soon and everyone is PC, I go hide as quickly as possible. Being serious is a last resort for me too.

      Oh look, we are the same person again. How weird.

  12. Luckily it doesn’t seem like anyone is perfect. I’m horrible about public speaking in that I love to be the focus of attention so it’s not a problem for me 🙂
    And, that video kills me every single time I watch it!!!!

    • Hahah oh Maggie, you silly goose. I could imagine you being the life of the party, for reals. That’s a good point though, no one is perfect. Especially moi!
      The video is just too perfect, right?

      • hahaha
        I am a complete attention whore and definitely not perfect.
        If you ever need to make my sister lose her mind laughing, show her that video 🙂
        Happy Halloween!

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