I usually trust my mom’s movie advice. She and I seem to have similar taste in films. Last week she had seen Taken 2 and enjoyed it. I couldn’t help remembering how convenient things were in the first Taken movie. Liam Neeson finds his daughter who is lost in the underground Parisian sex slave trade. There is no way that would happen in real life. I don’t care who your dad is. Side note: I remember I was told not to go to Paris after this movie came out.
I just want to address some comedic highlights in Taken 2 so none of you have to spend your money on this (unless you want a good laugh). The first 30 minutes is pure cheese. Like, the cheesiest cheese you could imagine. It was bad acting. And this is coming from the girl who forgot her lines in a play and ran off stage crying.
In the beginning of the movie we learn that Liam Neeson’s (I’m not referring to him as his character because he’ll always just be Liam Neeson to me) daughter, Kim is just trying to live a normal life after her dad saved her from being sexed up by crazy Turks. Is that PC? She’s dating some loser named Jamie and taking driving lessons from her dad. Sounds fun.
Kim and her mom surprise Liam Neeson in Turkey while he’s there on some Turkish business. I don’t know why they had the urge to go to Turkey, but okay. One part that actually made me laugh out loud (along with the rest of the audience) was when Liam Neeson called his daughter and told her, “I don’t want you to panic, but your mom and I are going to be taken.” See if I were Kim, I would’ve been like, “Geeze Dad you’re so embarrassing!” But instead she just starts crying. Weird.
Liam happens to have this sweet mini phone that’s never been invented. Maybe he had an in with dead Steve Jobs or something. Anything goes in this movie. He talks to his daughter and walks her through how to save them. He basically tells her to go in the closet and find his grenade stash and throw the grenades everywhere in the city so that he could hear them to figure out his location. Kim pretty much destroys Istanbul doing so.
The movie continued on and the entire time I was hoping that Liam and his clan would either die or get arrested and rot in Turkish prison. Liam lets Kim drive in a getaway scene which is actually the most exciting part of the entire movie. She didn’t have her license, and you sure could tell! Damn Kim messed up Istanbul real bad. She honestly should’ve gone to jail.
And then, to wrap it up, Liam ends up escaping with his bad fighting moves. Couldn’t they have afforded a stunt double for this guy? Everything ultimately works out and the movie ends with the family, safe at home, going out for milkshakes. With Jamie.
I wish I was kidding.
26 thoughts on “Taken 2 aka LOL”
The first film was great, and I refuse to believe that the sequel isn’t any good.
I’d say the first film was more entertaining, for sure. This one is only 91 minutes long and a bit of a let down. I promise!
you have very high standards for films, like the site Rotten Tomatoes, and that’s good. i’d add you to my list of preferred film critics 🙂 thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Haha I am the real life Rotten Tomatoes. Well, I like my occasional cheesy movie, but I feel like this one just wasn’t worth the money. Haha yes! Can I add film critic to my resume?
of course you can! the dialogue was that bad huh? they should have spiced up the dialogue like…
liam : listen-
sorry for the incomplete reply below. inadvertently pressed “post comment’ 😉 in any case, waiting for your next review 😀
Hah even your cut-off dialogue is better than the movie’s! Glad you liked my review, pretzel! Thanks!
Sounds way cheesy, thanks for the heads up. 😉
Hah it definitely is! That’s what I’m here for!
Once you get past the cheese set up at the beginning it’s really good. My favorite part is when she’s doing the map in the hotel room and figures out where he is with the grenades etc. it’s cool. I also liked the driving stuff and the US embassy. Okay, so it’s a little improbable, but it’s fun!
Hahah I was laughing through that part because it was so long “Okay now make a fourth circle…” I was like Ummmm NO. That’s not real. If someone asked me to find the diameter, I would be like, “Sorry you’re gonna have to die because I refuse to do math outside of school.” haha I could definitely see where you liked it. But I guess I just didn’t like the characters so I wasn’t really feelin it!
I watched the first one and imagined myself in Kim’s place or Anne in Kim’s place and how the respective fathers would respond. How many dads can just go busting a cap (is that still an acceptable cool phrase?) in people to save anyone? My Dad would have spent time discussing history and NameRedacted couldn’t have been found. I’d have had to go all Liam on those folk, and would have lasted around 2.5 minutes. Now, I’m torn on seeing this film–do I listen to Grippy and get past the cheese and enjoy or you and accept laughter through out. I’m not sure I want to laugh at Liam. He’s my dream husband. See? I’m not just in love with the Law and Order crew.
You really ran off stage? Bless your little heart.
I think very few dads could bust that many people’s caps. Whatever Grippy says, just know that you cannot get past the cheese. There is no way. You will laugh. It’s hard not to. If he’s your dream husband, then go see it. I see my dream husband in all sorts of bad movies and I also pretend he’s not married to Blake Lively.
Oh yes, ran off stage in tears. I think my aunt has it on tape somewhere so that’s amazing blackmail.
You know, Lily I was afraid the part deuce of this movie would be like this. I really liked the first one but what else can one do after this? I think sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone. I thought this one might be a bit cheesy. I’ll probably wait and check this one out at the library for free.
Hah that’s a good plan! Yeah it just seems a bit improbable to me! I don’t remember the first one being this cheesy! I guess if anything, it made me appreciate the first one more! Ha!
This kind of movie isn’t my cup of tea but your review was really funny!
Thanks Sandee! Glad you liked it! Yeah it wasn’t really my cup of tea either apparently. Although I do like action films. This one just wasn’t hardcore enough!
“Convenient”? Are you kidding me? He had a very particular set of skills, skills that he acquired over a long period of time. How is that “convenient”?!
I’ll believe your review… for now, but I’m still gonna watch it because I’m gay for Liam Neeson.
Hah so Liam is your man crush huh? That’s a good choice I guess. I can just imagine you sitting in your room watching Love Actually and getting excited every time he comes on.
Hahah his particular set of skills aren’t so impressive in this movie. Trust me, Petey.
I’ve always wondered, how did Liam Neeson all of a sudden become so BA. What happened to the old creepy Neeson from the Kinsey report? He’s the only person to become an action star at 50 years old.
I’ve never seen the Kinsey Report, but I know what you mean. I’ve always thought Liam Neeson was creepy. He’s not cute. Yet tons of people think he is. I don’t get it!
Especially knowing that he doesn’t have one of those cool foreign accents. I can never tell if he’s trying to be American or weirdo Irish.
Iloved the first one, but I’ve heard nothing but horror stories about Taken 2. Thanks for setting me straight, Lily!
Yeah, you were not alone with the first one. Everyone loved it! But this one is just bad….stay away!
When I noticed they were making a sequel, I thought that it had to be complete cheese. Thank you for confirming it for me!
Totally cheesy! Glad you didn’t waste your money! That’s what I’m here for!