Sorry I haven’t written a post in years (11 days). I’m sure everyone was constantly refreshing my page in hopes of a new post, but I was on a little vaycay. Everyone needs a vaycay now and then. I hope all the grown men who read this enjoy saying the word vaycay over and over.
I’ve noticed that I’m always coming and going. Leaving loved ones to see other loved ones. I’m here one day and gone a week later. It’s tough when you’re so adored. You have to split up time. But it’s kind of a good thing because I don’t give people enough time to miss me too much. There’s a song by Squeeze called Good-Bye Girl, but I think it’s about some kind of skank that’s always gone in the morning. That’s not the kind of Good-Bye Girl I am. But I really do love the line in the song, “If you ever see her, say hello Good-Bye Girl.”
Saying goodbye is always sad. I have to do it about every 4 months. But then I get to say hello to someone else.
I had to fly a quick 6 hours back home to my husband. The plane ride was pretty smooth except for the person I had to sit next to. He was your typical average Joe. His name might have actually been Joe for all I know. He asked me if I flew this course a lot and I said yeah because I live in Victoria. I asked him the same question, not caring about his response, I just thought it would be nice. Turns out he lives in Seattle. So yeah, boring stuff. I went back to reading my book.
When the stewardess came around to give us our beverages, as Joe grabbed his drink, the worst B.O. I’ve ever smelled entered my nose. First thought: WHY ME? Why do I have to spend hours next to this guy? Life isn’t fair.
So I spent the rest of the flight with my blanket up to my face as a nose guard. I had some relief in watching Kevin Hart’s stand up that was on the TV. I think Smelly Joe thought I had tourettes because I would be perfectly still and then whenever Kevin Hart would say something hilarious, I would start bursting into laughter and shaking. I should have started swearing randomly, then maybe he wouldn’t have tried to kill me with his armpits.
During the middle of the flight Joe went to the bathroom for 10 minutes, I kid you not. Things got smellier. I basically plastered my forehead onto the window and tried to avoid looking (or smelling) in his direction.
I was lucky enough to have two windows on my side. I put both of their shades down for a while when I was watching my show, and then I raised one up to look at the mountains. Joe literally reached his hand across my lap to open the other window so he could look too. In my head I was like, UMMMM EXCUSE ME? If you get an aisle seat, then you get to go to the bathroom whenever you like and extra leg room. If I get the window seat then guess what? I get control of the windows! And didn’t he say he was from Seattle? You see the Olympic mountain range every day! Go away. You smell like something that came out of my cat’s litter box.
Turns out being a good-bye girl is actually a great thing because I got to say good-bye (and good riddance) to Smelly Joe.