Judging, Music

What’s In A Name?

A little bird (aka the internet) just told me that rap legend (I’m using the term legend super loosely these days) Snoop Dogg is making some changes. He’s changing the genre of his music from rap to reggae as well as his image. Basically just picture Snoop Dogg in a rasta hat with sunglasses. The most important change is his name. Snoop Dogg has changed his stage name (surprising right? I thought that was his birth name too…) to Snoop Lion. Just let that sink in for a minute. Say it out loud if you have to. It took me a while to get used to it, but it took me a while to get used to Snoop Dogg too. A while = my entire life.

Snoop Lion’s new image.

I’m probably just bitter because my official rap name would be Lil’ Lil and well…yeah. Can’t really do anything with that one. The thing I don’t understand is how people change their names. Like, your name is what people know you by. It’s what YOU know you by. I’m all for nicknames. Nicknames are fun and cool. But changing how people know you is just too weird.

I know a couple of people who have changed their names. Actually, one of them changed their name to Lily. This the effect I have on people. They just want to be me. I’m joking of course. But seriously.

How can people in the media change their names? Remember Puff Daddy? Of course you don’t. He changed his name to Puffy, then P.Diddy, then Diddy. Who knows what he’s called now. Guy with tons of money? Guy that once dated JLO? That reminds me–JLO, you slut. You changed your name too! Well, kinda. JLO is more of a nickname. But still. Just be Jennifer Lopez. Okay, I’ll level with you, Jennifer is a super boring name. No offense to anyone else named Jennifer. But tons of offense to the person that named you Jennifer.

Epitome of class.

Countless celebrities have changed their names. I guess to make it easier on us common folk. For example, Woody Allen sounds way better than Allen Konigsberg. Well, it sounds less Jewish at least. I don’t understand why celebs change their names to something super weird though. Like Whoopi Goldberg. Really? That’s the name you choose for yourself? Her birth name was Caryn Johnson. Super normal. Except for the fact that Caryn is spelled like a third grader tried to sound it out, but whatevs.

Two musicians whose name changes I allow and fully embrace are Farrokh Bulsara (Freddy Mercury) and Reginald Dwight (Elton John). Good choices on the stage names. For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure Farrokh Bulsara translates to “best voice ever”. And Reginald Dwight translates to “huge gap tooth”.


Artwork, Work

Advertisements: Yea or Nay?

I’ve noticed that some folks around the blogosphere have added ads to their pages. I need a little help deciding whether or not to take the advertisement plunge. Lets weigh out some pros and cons, shall we?

The Look. Okay yikes yikes yikes. Advertisements are so fugs. I like the fact that my blog is streamlined–you come for Lily in Canada, and that’s what you get! I hate when I click on a blog and it’s covered in ads. BUT I heard that you can choose the placement, so maybe I could hide them. But then I guess you wouldn’t want to hide them because you need people to click on them. So I’m at a bit of a standstill here.

The Embarrassment Level. What if one of my ads is for penis enlargements or some kind of mail order bride thing? I don’t want my viewers looking at such distasteful things. Plus it might remind my mom of Las Vegas and that would cause her to burst into tears. So like, I can’t really risk that, can I?

The $$$. Cash money baby. I’m totes in favor of making a little extra spending money. Especially since I don’t have a job. I’ve heard different things from different people though. I’ve heard that the amount is really insignificant. But from others I’ve heard that you can make anywhere from $30-$100 a week! And I would be super pleased with that.

So what’s the dealio? How do we feel about them? Yea or nay? Share your stories and experiences with me. I need to know the deets!

Final Note: I originally spelled it “yay or nay” because I’m mildly retarded.


Catch Up Session

I know that most of you are probably wondering where I’ve been–continuously refreshing this page in hopes of a new post. At least that’s what I like to imagine. In reality, everyone has most likely forgotten about this blog. So maybe I’ll start over. Hi, I’m Lily.

Instead of writing with a purpose, as if I were writing a newspaper article, I’m going to just write what I feel. I usually try to have some direction in which my posts show go (funny, informative, opinionated, etc) but this one is just going to be my ramblings. And slightly boring. But it will be very me.

Even though my blog is titled Lily in Canada, I’m actually not in Canada at the moment. I’m back in Chi-town (Chicago). I stopped in Las Vegas for 3 days because I’d never been and well, why the hell not, right? It was fun to see the sights, walk through crazy hotels and get some hot hot heat to thaw my body from the Canadian weather.

I also committed a major crime-I forgot my camera. Sooo here’s a picture of me sitting at my computer.

Excuse my beauty.

Anyway now I’m home and it’s weird. Nothing has changed. I’ve written about this before. After you’re married or move out, your childhood home is still your home, but it’s also not. It’s such a weird feeling. You can’t get too attached because you know you have to leave eventually. So I guess it’s kind of sad too.

I haven’t been reading that many blogs lately. And by that I mean, I haven’t been reading any. It’s kind of freeing actually. I would stress out by telling myself that I had to read every single post by every single one of my followers. So yeah, it kind of became more of a drag than anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love everything that everyone writes. I love that all of the WordPress bloggers are unique and that everyone’s true self shines through in their writing. It just came to a point where I was spending so much time on my computer that I wasn’t spending any time doing the things I like. I would reading blogs instead of hanging out with friends or working out or playing video games (don’t judge). So forgive me for not commenting or writing, or whatevs. I’ve been busy livin’ life.

Anyway, now that you’ve caught up with me, what’s new with you?


The Blame Game

There was some sad news this morning from Colorado. Twelve people died and fifty nine were wounded during a shooting spree in a movie theater. Being of a normal age to process this information, I was extremely saddened for those who died and their families. (I say, “Being of a normal age” because when I was younger, I wasn’t effected by the news of deaths, especially of those I didn’t know personally.)

Now that I reside in Canada, I’ve heard some opinions on last night’s events, but they were different from what I was expecting. Many people here blame the US for allowing our citizens to have guns. A few people have told me, “If your country made guns illegal, this wouldn’t have happened.”

I understand what people mean when they say things like this, but I have to disagree.

There are crazy people everywhere. Not just in the states–every country in the world has a percentage of mentally unstable people. We may not hear about crazy things they’ve done, and the percentage is most likely way smaller than those that reside in the US, but nevertheless, they are everywhere. Remember the massacre in Norway last year? And what about that guy in Canada who, just a couple of months ago, cut up some guy and mailed his body parts around? Yeah, because that’s totally normal.

I agree that without guns it’s harder to kill a mass amount of people. But these days people figure out how to use bombs and crash planes, and burn places to the ground. Psychopaths are narcissistic and want to hear their name in the news. They want to have people talking about them. Ex. Casey Anthony. They’ll find a way to kill a lot of people if they want to.

The reason we have guns is not to kill people and animals. It’s because our country gives us the right to keep and bear arms. This is part of our country’s history. Think back to when our constitution was formed. People needed guns. Every household had one because they needed to protect themselves and their children. Throughout the years, our country became more advanced and modern–the need for guns slowly disappeared. People still had them, sure. But they weren’t a necessity.

People are going to constantly ruin moments of comfort. The citizens of the US and Canada used to not need a passport to cross over the border between countries. Remember when there was barely any airport security? When I was in elementary school, I never had to do a lock-down drill in case a shooter came in. But now everything has changed. We have to be extra careful, extra prepared, and always be cautious of danger. It’s unfortunate, but that’s just the way it is.

Feel free to blame guns. But please don’t blame my country.

gif posts

Post Grad Problems

When I see someone I went to high school with and they tell me about their awesome career:

When my husband gets home from work and asks me if I played video games all day:

When I want to buy furniture, but I also want to buy clothes:

If someone trusts me to hold their baby:

When I met someone taller than me:

When I stop for someone to cross the street:

When people ask me to hang out:

When I tell people I’m going to seriously get a job someday, they’re like:

When I’m trying to lose weight:

When my computer battery runs out and the cord is far away:
When I get all of the history questions wrong on Jeopardy even though I majored in history:


Summer Favorites

If you don’t already know, I’ve made seasonal lists explaining what my favorite things are. I have one for last Fall, Winter, and Spring. They may be a little out-dated now, but still worth a looksy.

1. Reality Cooking Shows. I usually have no interest in watching people slave over a hot kitchen. Especially when their delicious food isn’t available for me to stuff in my mouth. BUT, I’ve really been into Hell’s Kitchen, Food Network Star, and…um…Top ChefCanada. They’re all great for different reasons. Hell’s Kitchen is awesome because it’s basically Gordon Ramsay telling the competitors to “piss off”. Food Network Star is good because it’s kind of like Top Chef, where they have creative food challenges, but the competitors are fighting for their own show on Food Network. Which is a crazy big prize. So not only do they have to be good at cookin, but they have to be good lookin too. Just kidding. They have to act natural in front of the camera. But being good looking should also be part of the criteria.

Chef Ramsay doing what he does best.

2. New email accounts. No, I’m not going to share my password with you, but I am going to use this as an explanation of why I’ve been so distant. Around the time that I wrote my 200th post, I changed my email server from AOL to Gmail. YES, I still had AOL after all this time. I swear I was one of the only ones. Why change a good thing? Well, AOL became slow and annoying. I honestly never want to hear “You’ve Got Mail!” ever again. Unfortunately, when I changed my email, I think I messed up my WP subscriptions. I haven’t been getting any emails when someone writes a new post, so I’m sorry if I haven’t been to your blog in a bit–I’m taking a mini vacation.

3. Mini Vacations! It’s been a long time since I’ve been on vaycay. And by long, I mean it’s been about a year. So it’s actually been a normal amount of time. BUT I’ve been planning a fun getaway with my fam. Nothing too crazy or abnormal. I’m keeping it a secret though until I get back because I want it to be a surprise when I write all about it.

4. Roald Dahl’s Collected Short Stories. You guys know how I feel about short stories. Roald Dahl was a master of them. I’m eating up this book–every single story is good. I don’t know how he did it. Some of Roald Dahl’s most popular stories are, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, James and the Giant Peach, The Witches, and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Those are all great stories. But the tales in his book make my stomach turn at the end of each one. He had a very dark sense of humor, so naturally I have a huge crush on him. Yes, he’s dead.

5. Super Paper Mario. Some of you may be familiar with the game Super Mario. Other, more experienced gamers may have heard of Paper Mario (N64), but only the coolest gamers (me) have played Super Paper Mario. This is a game for the Wii system. It’s pretty fun because you can change the graphics to go back and forth between 2D and 3D. I would recommend it if you like Mario games. The only downfall is the storyline which is so annoying. There’s so much explanation after you finish each section of the game. Ughh.

Cool graphics, right?

6. Not Watching The Tour de France.

Exercise, Food

How To Lose Weight Fast!

Something that both men and women struggle with is losing weight. Almost all of us want to lose those last 5, 10, or 20 pounds. Life is hard enough already. Why should we be uncomfortable in our skin as well? I’ve come up with some creative solutions to losing weight without having to exercise or eat healthy. You’re welcome.

1. Chop off a limb.This might sound scary, but I’m pretty sure that you can get a doctor to do it for you. If not, just place your arm or leg in dry ice and it should fall right off. I mean, it might be a little painful, but isn’t going to the gym painful too? Yes! And just think, you can still eat whatever you want! Stop thinking about burning calories and start thinking about burning limbs! These days you really only need one arm or one leg any way. AND if you’re satisfactory at any sport, you could totes win a Paralypmics medal!

Pick a limb, any limb.

2. Get a tapeworm. I’ve been attracted to this form of weight loss for a while. It’s almost too good to be true. You don’t have to exercise, and you can literally eat anything and everything you want. Because none of your food will be digested. The tapeworm that lives inside your intestine will eat all of the food that you’ve eaten and save you from all the cals. So thoughtful! To acquire a tapeworm, all you have to do is eat raw meat. Or become super unhygienic. Either one is a small price to pay for a quick weight loss. And then, once you’ve reached your goal weight, the doctor can remove it for you. You’ll probs have tons of stitches and have to be bedridden for a month, so think about all the extra weight you’ll lose!

3. Move to Africa. Everyone is supes skinny there. Granted, they’re dying of starvation. But like, I feel like Africa doesn’t have the best food so it would be hard to find a good meal. What if you had to hunt for food and you killed a lion for it’s meat, but then you got arrested because poaching is illegal? Then you’d be in jail and they’d feed you close to nothing. Any way you slice it, Africa is a win/lose situation. You’re winning while you’re losing weight.

4. Personal Chef.Hiring a personal chef is a good way to eat healthy without having to think about it. Sure, it cost money, but what doesn’t? If you don’t lose weight immediately, having a personal chef also gives you someone to blame. It always feels better when you can blame someone else for your own shortcomings.

Forcing your personal chef to wear a chef’s uniform is also a lot of fun.

5. The Hollywood Diet. If you must lose weight the old fashioned way, through diet and exercise, then maybe you should try out the skeletor…ehm Hollywood Diet! Try eating celery for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Only drink water. That way, you’ll be ingesting about 50 calories a day. Combined with rigorous exercise, you should be losing 5 pounds a day. This is a quick fix. If you can’t maintain this diet for your entire life, then you really need to do some re-evaluating.

Hope these quick fixes helped! I’d love to see all of your before and after pictures! Especially from anyone who chooses to remove a limb.