My Fave Reality TV Moments

Let’s be clear for a minute. These are MY fave. Not your fave, not the best ever, not the funniest. Just mine. Most of these are pretty popular. Others you might not be as familiar with. In which case, you’re welcome.

Greg’s Coconut Phone. During the very first season of Survivor or, the birth of reality television, one of the contestants, Greg, would talk into a coconut on a daily basis. For the record, the game lasted for 40 days. If someone was watching Greg’s actions they would have thought he was the original Castaway, or was a severe schizo. I love how Greg’s teammates look at him, unamused. The fact that he uses the term “incommunicado” incorrectly makes me want to actually leave him on an island so he can be with his coconut phone. Forever.

Chicken of the Sea. Everyone thought this moment was so funny and cute. It disturbed me more than anything. It demonstrated that celebrities don’t have to have a brain in their head to make millions of dollars. Don’t get me wrong, Jessica is cute and seems super nice. But come on. Even Nick is like, are you retarded? I love when Jessica says “Oh I understand now. I read it wrong.” Good save, Jess.

Watermelon to the Face. I’m not a huge fan of slapstick, but I am a huge fan of seeing annoying people get hurt. The Amazing Race is a great show because a bunch of annoying people get to race around the world and get super tired and eat gross things and eventually not win a million dollars. In this challenge, two lesbians (I mean, “Home Shopping Hosts”) have to hit some knights in armor with watermelons. When you’re racing around the world, tasks like this ALWAYS come up. After the girl gets pummeled with a watermelon, her companion has little to no sympathy. “They don’t call it The Amazing Race for nothing.” Now get up off your ass, wipe the fruit out of your hair, and try not to get your big head in the way this time.

Snooki Gets Punched. This is the moment that made Snooki watchable. Before she was socked right in the kisser, she wasn’t memorable or outgoing. It’s almost like she got some sense smacked into her. But no, she’s actually still really dumb. It’s just kind of fun to watch.

Scott Disick Being Perfect. The hilarity that is Scott Disick cannot be contained in one scene. Mr. Disick, beau of Kourtney Kardashian, makes Keeping Up With The Kardashians worth watching. Unforch, it’s impossible for me to pick just one funny Disick moment, so y’all are going to have to do some Kardash research. Marathon anyone?!?!

Susan Boyle Doin’ Her Thang. I know it’s super cheesy, but I love moments like this. This clip makes me never want to judge a book by it’s cover ever again. I’m still going to judge people on their appearances. But books? Never again. The best part about this clip, in my opinion, is Simon’s reaction. You can tell he’s like “Am I on Punk’d?” Classic. Piers is just being annoying. And the girl in the middle is crying her face off.

Teresa Giudice Crazy Town. You really only have to watch the first minute of this clip to understand Teresa Giudice. She makes Jessica Simpson look scholarly. She makes Snooki look lady-like. The worst part is that the woman that Teresa’s fighting, Danielle, is super obnoxious. But Teresa makes her look like a calm and collected reasonable human. Teresa Giudice is what nightmares are made of. Andy Cohen probably had to burn his suit after Teresa touched slammed him.

Alana. Let’s just say, if my child turned out like Alana, I would have 10 kids. Nothing makes me laugh quite like this reality TV moment. TLC really comes up with some genius shows, including, Toddlers and Tiaras. Alana’s mother is frightening, like most beauty pageant moms. But she did something right in raising this child because she’s almost as funny as me. You can hear the cameramen and interviewers laughing in the background of all her scenes. God bless Alana.





23 thoughts on “My Fave Reality TV Moments

    • Scott is really one of the best people on TV. I wish there could be a spin off, Scott and Mason Take New York. Now that would a quality show.

    • Hahah I love sitting through everything! Reality tv actually makes me surprisingly happy. I know my brain is turning to mush, but I can tell I’m smiling when I watch everything.

  1. Marya says:

    Dearest Lily,

    First off, when I spelled my name wrong, I thought of Jessie Simp and I remembered that at least someone would be there to pick me up in WackyWorld. Second, Scott is my idol. “What did the cane ever do to you?” might just be my senior quote. Also, some man asked me if I had a blog…I had to share the bad news:( I think I might get one? Maybs…idk…mehh.


    Elizabeth (the Kooler Kelly)!

    • Elizabeth!
      You should definitely get a blog. No one will stalk you, I promise. Scott is seriously one of my favorite people in the world. He ranks higher than most of my family members. The cane quote should definitely be your senior quote. People would be jealous. Isn’t that what high school is about? Making people jealous? Yes.
      Get a blog. So we can be BBBF (Blog best friends forever).

  2. “Prostitution whore! Engaged: 19 times!” is one of the greatest quotes ever and it’s the only thing that excuses Teresa’s surreal hairline.

    In other news, I think Alana had a seizure in that clip.

    • Surreal is the perfect way to describe Teresa’s hairline! She’s so disturbing. I think Alana definitely had a seizure. She’s one special child. I think her mom is Jabba the Hutt.

  3. You should host The Soup!

    My sister hated Greg. She felt he cost Kelly the million dollars on the first Survivor. He was the swing vote. No relation to the Kevin Costner film.

    Susan Boyle is my uncle. People need to know that.

    • Reality Show Clip Time! Hosting the Soup would be my dream job. I love Joel. I think we already talked about that though.
      Haha I wanted Kelly to win more than Richard. I loved Sue’s Snake and Rat speech to both of them. Man was she pissed.

      I believe that you and Susan Boyle are related. Similar eyebrows, right? And mustaches?

  4. william says:

    wow just stumbled on this site somehow. and my god what a waste of two minutes it has been. yes another fucking blog that is filled with someone’s rants and raves. your thought process is generic and mediocre, at best. yuck yuck yuck, and you are clearly NOT the best writer you know…if you are, you haven’t read very much…oh and thanks for revealing the spoilers to mad men you cow.

    • Oh shoot! I was trying so hard to impress you! I guess my entire blog was just written in vain then. OBVIOUSLY I’m not the best writer I know, but I figured most people would realize that was a joke. I don’t have time for thick-headed people with no sense of humor. If you had watched Mad Men on time, they wouldn’t have been spoilers, would they? I feel sorry for you. You have so much rage. Get a life, douche.


    • Pete Howorth says:

      Wow what a waste of 30 seconds your reply was. Yes it is another fucking blog filled with someone’s rant and raves, that’s what blogs are for. The fact that you’ve taken the time to reply signifies your willingness to move out of your parents house and attain your first sexual relationship with a female by the time you reach 40. (A goal you are quickly losing I’d imagine)

      Also, if a TV show has already been on, they’re not spoilers. You dumb cunt.

  5. You picked amazing moments. I had forgotten about the watermelon on amazing race. That was brutal! I haven’t seen that many Jersey Shores but luckily I did get to see the episode when Snooki gets punched in the face. Haha!

    • Why thank you! Reality tv is my favorite! The watermelon is brutal but awesome! Hahah I have to hand it to Snooki. What a champ for getting knocked out!

  6. Pete Howorth says:

    LOL!!! @ The first video, he’s talking into a coconut and everyones stood around waiting to see what the guy down the other end of the coconut said!

    How that woman’s head didn’t come off when she took a watermelon to the face aswell! That made my shit itch.

    I remember Susan Boyle well, she was a huge star in England and it made her go into a crazy house because she couldn’t handle the fame. The woman in the middle is Amanda Holden, she cries at anything. Reminds me of this fat guy from this years offering

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