I feel like I’m an observant person. Since moving to Victoria, I’ve seen some pretty colorful folks. Some of them I see every day! Or at least once a week. These “characters” set the scene in my normal, everyday life in Victoria. It’s like I’m Belle from Beauty and the Beast, “There goes the baker with his tray like always–the same old bread and rolls to sell. Every morning just the same, since the morning that we came to this poor Provincial town…” I guess our town isn’t poor, but it is part of a province! I can relate to Beauty and the Beast on a whole new level now.
But seriously. Where’s the baker? I’m starving.
Lets start with Crazy Dachshund Guy. This guy has 3 dachshunds and he walks them all at the same time. Thus making him “crazy”. He’s pretty hard to miss. He never trips over his pups. It’s surprising how graceful he is, really. I would never own a dachshund solely because I cannot, for the love of all that is holy, figure out how to pronounce the word dachshund. I usually say docks-hund really fast and hope that no one calls me out on it. Apparently it’s pronounced dahks-huunt. I guess I’m not that far off. It still gives me anxiety so I just call them wiener dogs and hope that I don’t offend anyone. Plus, I get the pleasure of bringing the word wiener into the conversation.
The Moka House Coffee Crew and The Starbucks Coffee Crew. I’m referring to the people who sit outside of these coffee shops and people watch. I’m almost certain that these people have no jobs. They will eyeball you for the duration that it takes to walk past each establishment. We all know Starbucks is a chain that everyone loves. People at SBucks love to judge. People at Moka House are even worse. They want people to see them judging you. At least people at Starbucks are secretive…kinda. Basically, in Victoria you’re either a Moka House-r or a Starbucks-er. I play both sides. Can’t everyone just get along? Moka House is definitely the worst though because they have an awning to sit under and judge passersby even when it’s raining. You can’t beat that.
Schizophrenic “The World Is Ending” Guy. Twice a week this guy stands on the corner of our street covered in signs that casually mention the Earth being melted by lava. Where is this lava coming from? All of his signs have to do with either fire or lava. I think he does a lot of research because he always cites a Bible verse at the bottom of each one. “The Universe will be engulfed in flames. John 10 :2” Ummm, Crazy Face? I’m pretty sure John didn’t say that. He shouts at cars a lot. Whenever I see him , I make sure to walk to the other side of the street. If I didn’t, I’d probably end up getting in a Bible fight with him. Which would consist of me, throwing a Bible at his head.
“I’ll show you fire” Leviticus 21:5
Prance-y Jogger Guy/Girl. There’s this jogger that literally trots around like he’s a Lipizzan stallion. I’m 75% sure it’s a guy. Short hair, petite, really tan. It could go either way. Let’s just pretend it’s a guy because it’s funnier that way. He prances a lot. I study his method whenever I see him “jogging”. And by study, I mean that I drop whatever I’m doing and literally stare him down. It’s fascinating. Paul and I have tried to re-create the majestic way in which he dances along, but it cannot be copied. It’s almost too perfect. Also, it seems to work as a really good weight loss program since this guy has little to no body fat. I would try his approach, but I have this thing called dignity. And not to mention a reputation to uphold.
Those are just some of the characters that I see everyday. It’s perfectly normal to be jealous of my life.
Lily In Canada 
I normally just call them wiener dogs and let it go at that.
Yeah that’s a smart move. I had a friend in high school who named his wiener dog Oscar, like Oscar Meyer Wieners. I thought it was pretty clever. Didn’t take a lot to impress me back then.
Throw a bible at his head! Haha! This was a funny post. If you’re Belle, does that make Paul the Beast? Uh oh… I don’t think he’ll like that.
Thanks! I think he’ll like it more than the time when I compared him to Mitchell from Modern Family. He didn’t like that one too much.
I would pay for a video of prancey-jogger guy!
Ugh I know! I’ll have to wait for him when he’s in his natural habitat and video him when he’s vulnerable.
Haha Lily! Enjoyed reading this so much! All those crazy people, thank goodness you have blog do document everything! (Somebody must!) And I can’t pronounce ducksand either, I can’t even spell it. Wiener dog is definitely the way to pronounce on that one. Good call. And I have to wonder if the Starbucksters and the Mokahousers are writing about you in their blogs. If you suspect this don’t say anything out loud or you’ll just make crazy end of world guy crazier! Very funny!
Hahah! Glad you enjoyed my observations! But wait, I’m definitely calling them ducksands from now on. Hahah! Ugh the Starbucksters and Mokahousers clearly think I’m the coolest person and are trying to copy my blog. They WOULD. Glad you were able to connect all the pieces. Thanks for stopping by!
I thought wiener dog was Elliot Spitzer. As to the prancing runner, he probably uses a lot of lube. HF
My mind is in the gutter now. Thanks HF! Hahah
While I was in school at UT, McBuckles was the only coffee house that I knew of nearby. There were probably others, but it was right in my face…well, actually it was next door to my job, too, so I loved it a little too much. But you’re right, it’s super judgy up in there. Now that I’m not on campus with those young fools, I have some local joints that I can sit and people watch when I should be working.
I also realize that my Hubs and I are the only ones who call Starbucks “McBuckles,” in case you didn’t get the reference. But you’re a smart girl, I bet you did.
Hahah! I love that you call it McBuckles! That’s awesome. Yeah, the thing is, when I’m in Starbucks, I’ll people watch the entire time. But when I’m outside of Starbucks I’m always like, “Ugh look at those people judging us!” haha I always play both sides!
This one is truly awesome!Congrats….:) 🙂
Haha thanks for reading it! Glad you liked it!
I couldn’t ever own one of those duckhunt dogs, simply because they don’t seem to be like real dogs.
They are there only to be seen and not petted.
True. Petting dogs is like, the one reason anyone should get a dog. So you can pet them all the time! I hate when they’re too perfect or anything.
Ah, the weirdos of the neighborhood, only to be outdone by the weirdo regulars at the gym. Funny post!
Haha so true! The gym houses the most weirdos under one roof for sure. No competition there. Glad you liked it! Thanks!
You must live in a very small neighborhood or only go to the same places. I guess it’s not like you run into them at different places. Like the one time I saw a girl who worked at Acme Supermarket grocery shopping at Walmart. What an endorsement!
Louis CK had an old bit about how he saw a guy jogging and a week later he saw the same guy get off a bus. That would freak me out to know the random “extras in life” as he puts it do more than the one thing I’m used to.
Yeah the little village I live in is pretty small. And yes, I also go to the same places a lot. I’m definitely a creature of habit. Yeah! Just today I saw someone in a makeup store who worked at the AT&T store and it freaked me out. Small world, I guess.
There’s crazy people everywhere I go, there’s always a guy dressed as Jack Sparrow in Sheffield city centre on a Saturday night that plays guitar and lets you take photos with him and even play a tune with him and he’s not one of those hassling beggers either, you give him money because you think he’s earned it, much better than sitting next to a cash machine clasping on to a shivering dog. Where do the homeless even get a dog and how to they feed it?
In Chesterfield where I live there was always a crazy guy that used to talk about Germans… to himself, he’d be sat in a cafe having a proper conversation with himself, I’d seen him around for about 10 years but I havent seen him for ages now.
And there was a really old man that used to play a harmonica, though he could never get a full tune, he’d get three notes out every 30 tries or so and I think he had Parkinsons.
The list goes on, I could probably write a whole post about it myself haha.
Crazy bastards are awesome.
Hahah So true about the homeless people. I hate when they have dogs. It’s like, you cant even take care of yourself! Why do you have a pet? In Canterbury, I would watch them ripping open garbage bags at night and feeding their dogs from there. At least they ate, I guess.
You should have sat next to the guy and jumped into the conversation about Germans. “Can you believe that Hitler guy?!?!”
Harmonica Parkinsons guy sounds unfortunate. But entertaining.
Your post about your neighborhood characters is already way better than my entire post about it. You should write a post about it though. And then I’ll just be super jealous.
See this is what I miss about Canada, not necessarily the weirdos but community. London is so vast that only a few places actually feel like a community. This is probably why I don’t feel like it is home. I never see the same faces, or the same crazies. We have a caffe nero across from our tube station where the judgers are always there. Well unless it rains so in the same token they aren’t there too often.
Yes! I can totally see that about London. All big cities, really. There’s no sense of community. Just millions of people doing millions of things. When I lived in Canterbury, there were seriously so many familiar faces and crazies. I’m sure you see someone twice on the tube or something and it will be really freaky!
Your life rocks, Lily!
Thanks Hook! So does yours! You know all about Strange characters!
I sure do…
We had a Wandering Jesus in the town where I grew up. Wore the grungy white robe and had dirty feet. He didn’t know the Bible very well though because he was always quoting from a chapter called “Howard”. Now I live in a boring town where people go to McDonald’s to watch Fox news and chew tobacco.
Haha a wandering Jesus. What if he was the real Jesus and no one ever took him seriously enough? Oops! Every little town always has it’s characters. Micky D’s is a fun place to hang out when you want to hate yourself.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!