canada, Surroundings

Dear Canada, You’re Really Gross


Last March, Canada’s government legalized brothels “in an attempt to make prostitution less dangerous for those employed as sex workers.” Isn’t prostitution supposed to be dangerous? Isn’t that the risk you take by becoming a prostitute? Plus, brothels are so 1700’s.

The legalization of brothels and pimping only pertains to Ontario. Are Ontarians on crazy pills? Why would you allow this to be okay? People selling their bodies for money is so gross. And sad. Shouldn’t we discourage this from happening? But who knows, maybe it will make prostitution into a fun thing, like Pretty Woman tried to do. Julia Roberts isn’t even pretty. That movie is misleading in more ways than one. A more realistic ending would’ve included Richard Gere finding out that he has gonorrhea and kicking Julia to the curb.

Your tub has every STD now.

On April 25, prostitutes will be able to hire body guards since life is so dangerous for them. Body guards aren’t going to stop you from getting AIDS. But do whatever you feel, crazies. Really though, who needs a body guard besides Whitney Houston and the Kardashians? Even then, no one protected Kim from getting flour-bombed. And no one protected Whitney from marrying Bobby Brown and getting super drugged up and cray. RIP Whit Whit.

The person that did this is my favorite.

Oh whew! Don’t worry guys, propositioning clients in public will still be illegal. That means they can’t come up to your car and say “Hey, want some sex?” That’s what they say, right? I wonder if brothels are going to put up signs and advertisements and stuff. I don’t think that’s illegal. Will they be able to set up camp in a house? Or can they actually buy storefront property? What would be a good name for a brothel? Lot’s O’ Sex? Hmmm I don’t know. If a brothel was set up in Victoria, I know for sure it would be called The Velvet Crease. That’s already the name of a store here–it paints a vivid picture, don’tcha think?

All in all, this is gross. I really can’t believe I wrote about it for this long. If you’re thinking of moving to Ontario, you might want to invest in a chastity belt.

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26 thoughts on “Dear Canada, You’re Really Gross

      • I was thinking April Fools Day, then i looked it up and it was true. Weird. Someone found a loophole and drove a truck through it. They’ll re-write the law or get an injunction to stop it until it heats the Supreme Court, Bottom line, ain’t gonna happen.

  1. Ewwww! That’s so gross and you’re right, sad. I guess now those girls won’t need a pimp? Now they can hang out their shingle, Sex for sale! That would be an incredibly depressing existence.

    • Yes it would. Why is this still an occupation? Shouldn’t it have died out? Why do men want to have sex with these women? Grody gross.

  2. I don’t think this law will encourage people that have never prostituted before to prostitute, and people that are sex workers will not stop no matter what the law is. I think it’s kind of cool that they legalized it.

    • Really? I guess just the idea of people having sex with any old joe for money is gross to me. I know people probably won’t become prostitutes because of it, but making it illegal just seems better for everyone. But I like that you have a different opinion on the matter! Spices things up a bit!

      • Lol. It is technically gross. Cleaning septic tanks for money is gross to me too but that doesn’t mean it should be illegal. Prostitution will always be around, y’know? So it might as well be regulated somehow. But this is a much more complex issue than just “gross.” Things like economics, class, and gender politics are all tied up in there. Not to mention that some people truly enjoy their jobs as sex workers.

        You should watch that Showtime show “secret diary of a call girl”. You might see things in a new way. And its just a great show šŸ™‚

      • I feel like, deep down, no one would want to do that if they had the chance to do something else for a living. But that show does sound interesting! I’ll check it out for sure!

  3. iraszl says:

    I think you got it all wrong.

    Prostitution is gross for you and me, but for other people it isn’t. Some people are grossed out by pork, others love it. Some people can’t stand the reindeer antler on cars at Christmas, others love it. We’re all different. Canada rightly doesn’t try to melt everybody together into sameness, instead it tries to create a safe and prosperous environment where everybody can do what he wants and not bother others.

    Legalizing and legislating brothels is a good thing because it makes it cleaner, healthier and safer for all parties: those who sell sex, those who buy it and even those who are not involved in the transaction but may suffer from the criminal activity surrounding illegal prostitution. It’s a win-win-win for everybody.

    I applaud Canada for being so forward thinking and rational about a touchy issue.

  4. In this day and age it seems all too easy to make politically correct, left wing commentary. While I respect that your take on this issue is different than mine, I feel slightly unsettled that you open your comment with “I think you got it all wrong”. Opinion cannot be wrong.

    Prostitution carries with it a myriad of social problems such as drug abuse, objectification of women, and strains on mental and physical health of those involved. I find it difficult to compare this to pork consumption or choice of festive automobile accessories.

    I too applaud Canada, and Canadians, for being a forward thinking and caring people but this to me is counterproductive.

    • iraszl says:

      I’m sorry for such strong words, I didn’t mean to offend.

      The very things you brought up like drugs, objectification of women (and men too I must add), health, etc. are all supposed to be helped by legalization.

      Prostitution is not a bad or immoral thing. Some of us probably only feel that way because of our somewhat twisted Christian based culture that has an unhealthy obsession with controlling other people’s sex life. And, because it has been linked with crime because it is mostly illegal in the West.

      In some Asian countries it’s a nobel profession that is practiced with grace. In Japan it’s elevated to an art form that takes years to perfect and the geishas are treated with the outmost respect by the society.

      • I realize that in some Asian cultures that geishas and male escorts are respected. However, in western culture, I don’t believe they are. I don’t think the crimes that have been linked to prostitution has anything to do with it. The idea of men paying for sex disturbs me. The idea of women selling their bodies instead of doing something less degrading makes me sad for them. I know that none of them want to do that for a living.

  5. Prostitution is one of those things that isn’t healthy and most people who go into it are either desperate for money or have been abused.

    Yet it will go on regardless of the laws in place.

    I don’t think this will encourage women to go into it but it may make it safer for those who do. I am not saying that this is definitely the answer but I know that leaving vulnerable women in the hands of pimps and dark alleys is not the answer either.

    I would call my brothel ‘Slots of Fun’.

    • Yes, it will do on regardless. I just think making it legal is just a way of giving up, you know? I agree with you about people that go into it being desperate for money or having been abused. It’s definitely not a position that anyone would choose for themselves. Despite what people think.

      Slots of Fun sounds like it would get a lot of business!

  6. You make some valid points, Lily (as usual) but this legislation is an attempt to improve the state of the world, rather than drag it further down into Hell.
    Hookers will always exist, this is just an attempt to corral them.
    Then again, I REALLY don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve never paid a hooker for sex; I just beg for it like a typical male!

    • I know they will always exist, but I just don’t feel like we should make it legal. I don’t think it’s a good thing for either side, the women or the men. I really don’t know what I’m talking about either, but I just keep doin it! haha

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