My Predictions For The New Season of Mad Men

I don’t know how many of you are familiar with AMC’s hit show Mad Men, but if you’re not, it’s about time to jump on the old bandwagon. Mad Men is definitely not my favorite show, however, I am not going to deny it’s sparks of greatness. This is how I think Season 5 is going to play out. There are going to be tons of spoilers, especially if my predictions are right.

1. Don Draper is going to cancel his wedding to that French Canadian chick with the freaky mouth. There’s no way he’s gonna get married. Don needs to live on his own and keep slutting it up with everyone in the office. I guess that only leaves Peggy though. And Peggy ain’t no slut. Except for that one time when she got pregnant.

2. Pete Campbell dies after being pushed off a building. Everyone in the show will eventually realize how annoying and pig-faced Pete is. Someone is bound to throw him down a sewer drain or in front of a train. He’s not even one of the partners in Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce and they practically put every name possible in their business. Plus I’m so sick of seeing those creepy African animal drawings in his apartment.

Sorry 60's, but this is not art.

3. Salvatore comes back and makes Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce millions. They realize that he’s the only reason why their ads are great so they re-name the company Salvatore & Co. Salvatore ends up firing Cooper and Pryce because no one cares about them. And because one of them is old and the other is English.

4. Betty Draper gets lung cancer and dies. I mean, she smokes a lot. And she’s abusive to her kids. It’s not like anyone would miss her. Sally, Bobby, and baby Gene would go live with Don in his bachelor pad and that one artist lady would teach them how to paint and sell their work on the streets. The kids would eventually run away because, lets face it, no one likes painting. They would grow up to be the Boxcar Children from those books. Sally could have amounted to so much more.

5. Peggy eventually becomes a pot head beatnik and no one cares. She’s becoming too liberated and good at her job. The pot destroys her life and she ends up asking Salvatore to marry her. Salvatore tells her he’s gay and she says that’s okay.

6. Joanie and Roger Sterling have their baby. Joanie lets the baby use the pen that she always has around her neck as a teething device. He almost chokes to death and Joanie is arrested and spends the rest of the show in a woman’s prison. Roger is forced to take care of the child. It kind of resembles the plot of Charlie Chaplin’s The Kid, but it’s not funny, and the kid is really ugly because he inherited Joanie’s teeth. Oh and Joanie’s husband dies in the war or whatever.

What do you guys think? I might have gotten carried away, but I think there’s a chance of all this happening in once season. What are your predictions?


26 thoughts on “My Predictions For The New Season of Mad Men

  1. I’ve got my money on one more Don and Betty Make Up Sex scene, then, he’ll turn to Peggy. She’ll play Ides of March on him, and, in the last scene, Pete throws the new Don, in his rags down in the Lower East Side a dime even though he doesn’t recognize him. Then, I’ll flip over to Game of Thrones.

    • Why would he turn to Peggy after he had make up sex with Betty? No one should turn to Peggy. She’s kind of fugly. I mean, for nowadays. For back then, she was average I guess? I’ve never watched Game of Thrones but I’ve heard good things!

  2. My prediction is that I will actually watch Made Men and then come back and enjoy this.

    I have to see though even without seeing the show, if at least one of these things happened I would regret not being in on it earlier.

    • You should learn how to spell Mad Men and then watch it.
      I think you would like it. It’s not super exciting or anything like Dexter, but the characters are good and the set design and costumes make up for the slow pace.

  3. I think you nailed it. Definitely. Especially the Boxcar children part. Poor Sally Draper, I think she’ll eventually get hooked on LSD, get clean, and then write about her twisted life in a best seller.
    Good job.

    Lol!!!!! on Pete Campbell’s ugly wall art!!!

    • Sally will definitely get hooked on some drug. Sally definitely has potential but she’ll probably die young. Poor gal. lol

      Haaha so glad you appreciated that!

  4. Dude. I HOPE Betty dies. And I hope Don kills her in a fit of rage. Or possibly the ghost of the lady who he used to be married to comes back and somehow does her in. Seriously, anyone on that show could kill her – no matter how implausible the story line would be – and I would be all for it. The Beatles could kill her and I’d still think the show was great.

    • Dude. You get me. Hahah about the Beatles killing Betty. I mean, the writers could make it work if they really wanted to.
      Should we make a petition to make this happen? I assume it would be taken super seriously.

  5. I just finished the last season! Good timing on your predictions. Like literally, right before I got on the ol’ Intertron and back into the WP world. I could see Sally getting hooked on LSD and hanging with Peggy to become liberal, bra-less women of the 60’s. Well, for Sally that would be the 70’s if she’s not wearing a bra on purpose.

    • Oh perfect! Just in time for season 5! Sally is one crazy son of a biatch. But you really gotta love her! But yeah Peggy and Sally are doomed to be wild and crazy girls eventually living together in a trailer.

  6. I am looking forward to this actually and if you have spoiled it for me then I aint gonna be happy.

    And how dare you say nasty things about Lane Pryce! He is the first decent English character on a US show.

    Even if he does look a bit weird.

    • He looks SO weird! Plus he got slapped in the face with a cane by his dad. I mean, he’s pretty lame.

      If I guessed the entire 5 season correctly, I deserve some kind of prize.

  7. HAHAHAHAHA! All this is great. Especially your attention to detail with Pete’s African wall art.

    Well, I already saw the first episode (I have a friend in the biz) and I won’t spoil your spoilers but I can say, remember the words “zoo-bee-zoo-bee-zoo….”

  8. I just watched the fifth season premier and it wasn’t earth-shattering but very cool nonetheless!
    I predict Don Draper will cheat on his wife – no matter how hot, drunken, horny or Canadian she is!

Comments are great, eh?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s