St. Patrick’s Day: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I would say, “Kiss me, I’m Irish!” But I’m actually Irish and I don’t want to be kissed by any of you. No offense. I decided to highlight some of my favorite things about St. Patty’s day and some of my least favorite things that remotely relate to Ireland.

The Good:

Wearing green. I actually look really great in green so today happens to make my beauty a focal point. I joke, I joke. But in all seriousness, it really brings people together when everyone is wearing the same color. It makes you feel like you’re a part of something, because, lets face it, none of us are really a part of anything. We’re just floating around in life. Wearing green gives us something to do. And it shows that you made a conscious effort to dress up for a weird holiday. I really like the idea of punching people that don’t wear green. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? Or did I make that up because that’s what I actually want to do.

The Disney movie The Luck of the Irish. I don’t know how many of you are familiar with this, but this movie made a mark on my childhood. It’s incredibly cheesy. This is how describes it: “A teenager must battle for a gold charm to keep his family from being controlled by an evil leprechaun.” Obviously the story is more complex than that. The teenager, Kyle, starts turning into a leprechaun after the family’s luck starts disappearing. His mom starts turning into a leprechaun too. Some other stuff happens. Kyle’s grandpa’s name is Reilly O’Reilly which is my favorite name ever next to the bad guy’s name which is Seamus McTiernen. I remember forcing my dad to watch this movie all the while he was probably wondering how his child grew up to be a semi-retarded pre-teen. But I think he secretly liked it. I still have it on VHS if anyone wants to borrow it.

Oh, and Kyle plays basketball and eventually beats the evil leprechaun in a nail-biting game.

The Bad:

Shamrock Shakes. No, McDonald’s. NO. No one like’s mint flavored shakes. Don’t bring them back. Think of a different green item to serve us. Green eggs and ham perhaps? Green sausage patties would even be acceptable. But Shamrock Shakes are just gross and weird. Plus, there aren’t even any shamrocks in the recipe. That’s so misleading. And while you’re at it, get rid of that Egg Nog crap you sell around Christmas. No one likes that.

St. Patty’s Day not being an actual holiday. What I mean by that is, no one gets off school or work for St. Patrick’s day. Apparently, St. Patrick banished all snakes from Ireland. What a legend. I would love to banish a species, especially a gross one like snakes. Patty knew what was up. And now we celebrate him. You know how people say to keep Christ in Christmas? Well maybe more people should keep St. Patrick in St. Patrick’s Day. Just let that one sink in for a bit. If it’s going to be a true holiday, then let’s not do anything. PLEASE. Who can I talk to about this?

No one mentioned that St. Patrick was a giant. HE'S HOLDING A CHURCH.

The Ugly:

Bono. How can I get him to just go away forever?


23 thoughts on “St. Patrick’s Day: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

  1. Bono is a complete anus.

    I am intrigued by the mint shakes but not really sure how they would work. It sounds like they don’t.

    And that film… good Lord. It sounds like something that someone who has never heard of Ireland before would do. A quick visit to Wikipedia’s page on the Irish and POW! All the cliches in one VHS box.

    • Haha it’s possibly the worst movie ever made. Luckily it’s made for young people in hopes that they don’t know what’s going on.

      Bono is dumb. Lets get rid of him, please.

  2. Hahahaha! This was super funny! “I like the idea of punching people.” Lol!
    I also love the caption on the picture of St. Patrick! haha! No wonder the snakes got the hell out of there, he was a giant!

    Always a fan of “The Luck of the Irish.” A fan, because it’s the most ridiculous movie of all time. Haha!

  3. Funny, you see unity in everyone wearing green, I see it in all of us stumbling from bar to bar.
    Yours is probably better, mine is definitely more fun!
    Until you need the bathroom.

  4. For you:

    Ireland was Ireland
    When England was a pup
    Ireland will be Ireland
    When England hath grown up
    Now I’m an Irish Catholic
    I even go to Mass
    So all you limey sons-of-bitches
    Can kiss my Irish ass

  5. You seemed very angry about this. I especially liked your observation of how gigantic St. Patrick was. If I was a snake I would be scared of him too.

    St. Patrick’s Day always annoys me. I have to disagree with you on Shamrock Shakes though. They were a big staple of my childhood diet and helped me grow up into a healthy Vitamin lacking adult.

    I wonder whatever happened to Ryan Merriman. He had such a good thing going.

    • Hahah so glad you know his name. He had a great thing going. Being a Disney channel star is tough. Wasn’t he in Smart House as well? Yep he was. I just looked it up. I always wanted to live in that Smart House.

      I’ve actually never had a Shamrock Shake before. They just scare me too much. Maybe I should try one though? They’ve been around forever and don’t seem to be going anywhere…

  6. Montreal has one of the biggest St.Patties day in North America(or at least it used to). Irish and French have several things in common, they have large families, they like to drink….LOTS. And they both hate the British. πŸ˜‰

      • You will fall in Love with Montreal, great restaurants/bistros. The people are great. The women look awesome(oops that’s one of my reasons). πŸ˜‰
        If you get a chance go to Old Montreal, its amazing!

  7. “I would say, β€œKiss me, I’m Irish!” But I’m actually Irish and I don’t want to be kissed by any of you. No offense.”
    Super opening, Lily!

  8. So I have never seen that movie – interested to see what it’s about..
    In Ireland we so get a day off and schools do close, however I was somewhat disappointed that the same thing didn’t happen here, I miss my day off πŸ˜€

    The Irish no how to party..

    And I agree with your Bono comment totally πŸ™‚

    • Haha it’s superrr lame. Watched it as a child! Well, more as a teenager, but still it’s pretty bad haha.
      That’s so awesome that you get the day off there. As you should. I wish it was more of a holiday here. I’m glad everyone gets excited for it though.
      Haha Bono still has a good voice, but he’s just so annoying! It’s like, lose the glasses dude! πŸ˜‰

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