The Biggest Loser

There is nothing I love more than watching morbidly obese people exercise and get yelled at. I didn’t realize that I liked this so much until I started watching The Biggest Loser.

What I like about the show even more than watching the contestants battle to lose the most weight, are the coaches, Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels. Jillian isn’t actually on the show anymore. RIP Jillian. I mean, she didn’t technically die, but she’s dead to me now that she quit the show. She was my favorite coach because she would literally scream at the people on her team. She would make them cry. I have purchased all of her workout dvds in hopes that she would help me cry my way into weight loss. But nope. Her wizardry didn’t work on me. I must be too tough. Maybe I should join the army?

I'm going to army, mother.

The other coach, aka the love of my life, is Bob. His workout dvd’s actually made me sore. Hard core workout. But he used respect and kind words. Love conquers all, guys.

This season is really dramatic. There’s this ultimate biatch named Conda (I know) and she bothers me so much because she’s the biggest complainer of all time. And then she’ll act like she’s the best team member. She pisses me off a lot because she’s a loud and angry all the time. I hate that. That’s the exact reason why I’ll never live in New York. Isn’t everyone loud and angry there? She should just be grateful that she’s on the show. Hell, I want to be on the show. But even at my highest weight they wouldn’t accept me. So shut up CONDA.

I’ll just continue to sit on my couch and talk at the TV while stuffing my face with chips. I’ve actually thought about gaining an immense amount of weight just so I could go on the show and transform my body. Such a normal thought process.

This could be my future.



28 thoughts on “The Biggest Loser

  1. I have seen the occasional episode of this sort of show and it’s tragic and amusing. Some of it is so over-the-top it’s absurd.

    Fatty steps up to the weighing scales. Dramatic music plays.
    Judges sit behind desks with stern faces. More dramatic music.
    Judges pretend to be angry and annoyed at fatty.

    Angry trainer person shouts. Sympathetic trainer person looks sad.

    Next fatty steps up to the weighing scales.

  2. AgrippingLife says:

    LOL! CONDA! This show is very amusing and when you add the reality aspect, the crazy personalities, etc. It’s real entertainment.
    It actually inspires me when I do my workout. I think if those chunks can push themselves then so can I! Hahah! Funny how we have similar themes on our blogs, eh?
    Oh, and I LOVE Bob Harper too! So kind and attentive to his team’s needs. Kind but firm.

    • I keep wanting to call her Condaleeza, but it just doesn’t feel right. The best is when you’re at the gym and biggest loser is on tv! Watching while you workout is the ultimate best! Bob is so kind. lol kind but firm.

    • Yeah true. Any show where people start to look good, I start sabotaging my own diet. I should quit fooling myself and just pull out a tub of ice cream before I start watching. That’s where I’ll end up anyway.

    • But it’s so good! It’s life-changing! I mean, it won’t change your life per se, but it changes the contestant’s lives! Unless they get kicked off first. Then nothing really happens. hah

  3. It’s a great idea for a show. There are always going to be fat people. And their eyes are going to always be filled with tears ready to pour. I always liked Bob. I especially like him when he gets “really really ticked off” – imagine the quotes in a wow Bob IS gay afterall voice

    I still don’t know how their weightloss is healthy. 20 pounds in a week? That’s more than 10% of a normal person.

    • Paul thinks Bob is gay. I keep hoping that it’s just his weird Tennessee accent that makes him sound slightly femme. I love when Bob gets “really really ticked off” too because then the huge veins in his forehead start to pulse. And that alone makes the show worth watching.
      I don’t think it’s the most healthy weight loss either, but if I was in their place, I would just do whatever it takes. Just put your faith in Bob and he’ll show you the way.

      • He definitely is gay. I remember him having a gay temper tantrum one time and you really heard the lisp in his voice. I know Jillian is bisexual. She’s so college.

      • Okay fine. I can definitely see Jillian being bi or even a lesbo, because lets face it, no guy is gonna want to marry her. But I just love Bob so much. Ugh this is almost as depressing as when I found out that Anderson Cooper’s gay.

      • Jillian is out of the closet. She’s full-blown indecisive on her sexual orientation.

        When you said Anderson Cooper, I read it as Alice Cooper at first. Then something funny happened.

      • I just tried to look it up and nothing really confirmed that she’s bi. Don’t try to trick me.
        Alice Cooper scares me a little.

    • Yes! That’s exactly it. I feel guilty for eating chips while I watch, but I also think, “Hey, I don’t look THAT bad, so maybe I can eat chips?” It’s very confusing. But if anything it makes me feel better about myself.

    • Yes! It’s such a good show! You should jump into this season. It’s pretty dramatic. There’s still plenty of contestants, so it’s not like you would be coming in at the very end!

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