P0wning N3wbs

Burgers Bein’ Thrown

I pledge allegiance to the golden arches.

I can’t believe I didn’t write about this sooner! Near Victoria, a man went to the McDonald’s drive-thru and ordered 6 burgers. You know something is already off with this guy because no one orders 6 burgers. Unless he has 5 family members that all have the exact same order, or he’s just immensely fat. Either scenario would make him a creep/pedophile.

After he gets his order, he storms inside and tells the employees that his food isn’t hot enough. Sorry mister, but have you ever had the pleasure of dining at Mickey D’s before? Nothing is hot except for the fries. Also, things tend to cool when you throw them down your gullet at warp speed.

The kind servants at McDonald’s re-made his entire order from scratch. JK, they just threw some more burgers in a bag and hoped for the best. I should work there. The unnamed man took a bite out of a new burger, spit it out like a caveman, and “hurled the bag of burgers at the manager.”

You have to be out of your mind to make a scene at McDonald’s. This is an establishment where people come to eat their feelings, not dine like kings. Have you ever seen someone look at their BigMac like it’s a quality meal? No. They frown and give a I-can’t-believe-I’m-doing-this-again look.

The report notes that the crazy man was arrested and set up with a court date. The manager was not hurt by the bag of burgers. He’s pretty much the hero of our generation.


30 thoughts on “Burgers Bein’ Thrown

  1. Addie says:

    Oh, Lily! I needed this chuckle today!! I’d pay good money (I never understood that phrase, good money. I guess that means it’s not tainted with smallpox or leprosy or anthrax germs on the bills) to see you behind a counter, dealing with someone like that. I can imagine the glare and the tone you’d use, and, that makes me laugh in a good way. Again, not sure what the bad way would be–how you’d laugh after you passed on money dosed in smallpox/leprosy/anthrax to someone you didn’t like? Maybe the guy with the burger problem?

    • Hah glad I made you chuckle! Wouldn’t you feel so powerful to be the first one that passed around anthrax? I would definitely pass it onto the guy with the burger problem. He needs to be kicked off of our planet.

  2. I have actually reveled in the quality meal that is the Big Mac. Just once, though. It was a few years back when I was dabbling in less than legal substances, and I hadn’t eaten in a few days. You could say the Big Mac saved my life. Or just fed a hungry, hopped-up girl. Who knows.

  3. What it doesn’t say is that the grease ate through his apron, uniform shirt, t shirt and mp3 player hidden under all of that, and suffered 3rd degree burns, genital warts and anal seepage as a result.

    Oh, the humanity!

  4. Bonkers story. I pretty much expect the food to be a bit pants in a place like McDonalds so it really isn’t worth kicking up a huge fuss about.

    Years ago I remember some woman shouting at the staff for putting salt on the chips. She was ordering for her kids and didn’t want them having too much salt.

    Now fair enough, too much salt is bad for you. But why, for the love of Christ, would you take them to McDonalds in the first place if you were so concerned about their diet…?

  5. Mickey D’s and Burger King bring me comfort. Just knowing that they’re out there. The red and yellow color themes, those golden arches, the employees that don’t speak English and can’t get your order straight. Ya gotta love ’em.

    Actually the one by my/our house is the kindest of all the McDonalds. They always greet me with, “Hello my friend!” So kind! (now don’t get any ideas, I rarely go. If I go at all it’s for an occasional drink, okay, sometimes a milkshake.) tee hee

  6. My dad would have done that. He’d always order a quarter pounder with cheese without cheese. I don’t know if he’d actually say it like that but the name is a quarter pounder with cheese. Nobody gets it without cheese. Except those with the same DNA as me.

    • Since cheese is one of my biggest fears, that would be something that I would do too. Do we have the same DNA? I usually just go for chicken nuggets because they’re a safe option. If you like ground up chicken.

  7. Is it just me? Or does the memory of how Mcdonald’s food taste, far exceed the way that McDonald’s food now actually tastes? (my personal opinion is that due to rising costs in order to keep its food within a reasonable price range, mcdonalds has secretly changed the ingrediants of its long time menu choices, replacing many of the expensive addictives our personal chemistry have grown to depends on for happy function, with cheaper, cut, non-potent, fillers. ) Maybe that man was in withdrawl, looking for the experience of how hamburgers once tasted and now frustrated that they no longer live up to the expectation
    of his memory. Either that or he just didn’t like cold burger.

    • I think you’re onto something there. He could have been on a diet for ten years and lost a ton of weight and really wanted McDonald’s to reward himself for doing so well. Bummer.

  8. Pete Howorth says:

    Maybe he’d gone to that McDonald’s every day/week and every time he went they either messed up his order or his order was cold. Like stone cold, but he did nothing, just held in the anger, bottling it up. Until that one fateful day when the straw broke the camels back and he went nuts.

    I feel for the guy.

    Of course anyone who works for McDonald’s are either immigrants or people down on their luck, one moment away from suicide. Even with my bad luck in jobs the last thing I’d do is work for a fast food chain.

    • Its definitely a possibility. Poor McDonald’s quality would drive any normal human into doing insane things.
      A couple of people in my classes at uni worked at McDonald’s. I questioned their existence the moment I found out.

  9. I had McDonald’s for the first time in 15 years last year. I was shocked by how much I liked it, especially since I wouldn’t let Hubs get food from there…since as a vegetarian, they were the biggest offenders of animal mistreatment. Now I feel weird b/c all these pics are showing up on FB about weird goop that turns into the chicken nugs and that if you leave out an order of a burg and fries for 25 months, it looks exactly the same as the day it was made. Exactly. The. Same. No mold or bugs. But…it was kind of tasty…

    • As hard as it is to admit, McDonald’s IS kind of tasty. I mean, they offer salads now…so thats a start right? Can’t believe you went 15 years without McDonalds! You are a goddess.

  10. Justin Kirby says:

    thought the line…”This is an establishment where people come to eat their feelings,” was classic. I think you’re right, there is a slight undertow whenever I get near a McD’s.

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