Judging, Surroundings

Lily in Seattle


Can you find me? I'm the one in the corner rocking back and forth.

On my flight, I couldn’t help being annoyed with everyone around me. First of all, I had to ride with the scum of the earth in coach. Every time I ride in coach a little part of me dies.  I got the window seat (thank goodness) so I could at least turn my head and pretend I was amongst normal people.

The couple in front of me was the worst part of my flight. They were probably my age. Before we took off, the stewardess had to tell the girl to stop resting her head in her bf’s crotch. I loved it. However, I did not love when they leaned their seats back.  If you’re flying, there is never a reason to lean your seat back. Ever. Don’t do it. They looked and smelled like Woodstock threw up on them. So if that’s the kind of person you want to be like, go right ahead. Just make sure you think of me and my 36 inch legs while you recline.

When we landed, I had to wait extra long before I got off the plane. Did I mention I was in coach? The lady next to me wouldn’t let me out because she was too busy letting the whole plane walk in front of her. I get mad when people aren’t aggressive. I also get mad when people are TOO aggressive. There’s a fine balance. Anyway, now I’m sitting next to some Seattle hipster with elbow patches on his blazer. You know the type. I’m gonna go search for food/sanity. Sorry for the type-os! My iPad is on the fritz.

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29 thoughts on “Lily in Seattle

  1. fyeahandroidtomato says:

    I can sympathize with your whole aggression balance thing. When I lived in the city and walked to work I hated it when people walked significantly slower than me or significantly faster than me. Couldn’t they see that I was going at the exact right pace and the only sensible thing was for them to pace themselves to me? Seriously…

  2. I’m pretty sure you’re the reason we aren’t allowed to carry guns on planes. On the other hand, everyone else would be much better behaved if they thought we might be packin’

    • You’re so right. If I have to abide by the rules and not carry weapons, then other people should abide by my rules and not be so annoying and weird.

  3. Lisa says:

    I feel your pain. I hate travel days. Having to accomodate annoying strangers, standing in lines, sitting and waiting, etc. The whole thing is so unpleasant.

    The only thing you can do, at this point, is locate some food vendors and eat through the pain. Everyone knows that calories don’t count on travel days, so enjoy!

    • Yes, travel days are so depressing and draining! I made sure to take advantage of the “no calories on travel days” rule! And that massage didn’t hurt either!

  4. Addie says:

    I am sure you are a master of the evil glare. Stand even taller than you are, stare and with that stare, the word ‘REALLY, PEONS?’ is apparent. Lisa is right–travel day calories never count. It’s the Universe’s way of making up for coach.

  5. You should have pushed their seats forward, that’s what I’d do. I hate flying, I hope your flight wasn’t too long, the one I took to China was absolute hell. 16 hours sitting next to a Chinese guy coughing the entire way. At least the bar was free.

    • I totally should have! But then I would come off as the ultimate douche. But then again, why should I care if I’m never going to see them again, right?
      Your flight to China sounds like death.

      • Too right. Why should you care about two stoners feelings when your own legs are getting crushed?

        It was actually two flights but I ended up sitting next to the same guy both times, didn’t speak a word of English. My two mates I was with were sat together. First flight was 7 hours to get to Mumbai, 40 degrees at midnight (wtf?) I was wearing a hooded top and a leather jacket =/ then after the two hour delay, another 9 hour flight to Hong Kong. I had no clue what day it was by the time I got there.

        It was a fate worse than death!

  6. Marya says:

    Why does Seattle think they are so hip and grungy? It’s so ’90s. I’m thinking Bill Gates sports a wig with dreds when he goes to the market. So what were you to expect from traveling in coach with extra long legs. I know the pain. My legs are longer than my own father’s. I prefer to be in the aisle. I guess the eavesdropping today was a painful one. Glad you had a window to press your nose against the glass and weep.

    Once I rode in First Class. It was a Red-Eye from L.A. to Washington, DC. As the plane was taking off and we were on a steep incline, the guy next to me said, “Do you know that we are going to spend the night together? We are going to be together, all-night-long.” I looked left, I looked right, I looked straight ahead. I illegally unhitched my seat belt and moved to another seat…still in first class…but from that time forward…I feel it is safer and more of a hiding spot to be in COACH.

    Saying goodbye is the absolute WORST. I hate goodbyes and I don’t think the word is in my vocabulary. Threw it out years ago. When I say goodbye to my sister, we just don’t hug anymore. Why go through the pain?

    And, Lily in Canada…get back to Canada and write more funny quips and be the amazing wife and friend you are to Paul. Canada awaits you with wide-open-arms…Yeah! Lily is back.

    • That’s so scary. Why do people have to be so creepy? They think they’re being funny (I think), but it just sounds so rape-y! I will think of coach as a hiding spot from people like that next time I’m feeling low.
      Saying goodbye stinks for sure. It’s hard because when I say goodbye to one person I get to say hi to another. I always have mixed emotions!

  7. Oh my goodness, flying has lost it’s charm for me since flying with a toddler. Imagine all of that PLUS evil stares from people at your child for being “loud” and “vomiting from the pressure” and not letting you exit until you yell, “can’t you tell my kid is sick?!”

    Oh wow, you really made me tap into to something there. Welcome back home!

    • Let it out, Jell Jell. Let it all out! You are so brave for flying with your child. I feel like it takes so much energy to just watch over myself, I couldn’t imagine having to entertain a child as well!
      Thanks for the welcome!

    • Lisa says:

      Jell Jell,
      Lily once threw up on me on a flight from Houston to Chicago. She was a little over a year old. It wasn’t just a little throw up it was like a MAJOR episode and I was not prepared. I literally flew for three hours with a smelly vomit drenched shirt.
      The passenger next to me was not pleased.

      I feel you’re not a mother until you suffer through a screaming, vomiting child on an airplane.

  8. Addie says:

    I think we are all glad you are back home, even though the goodbyes are so very sad. Since you’ve been gone for a bit, we shall all politely close the Blog door while you reunite with your Paul. We’ll have to just go Lily in Canadaless. Except for WwF. I still have a chance!

  9. One thing that depresses me about flying is seeing English people wearing football tops. It marks them out as an educated cretin.

    I hope you enjoy being back home despite the horrendous journey.

  10. Lisa says:

    Let’s get one thing straight everyone, Lily is not back HOME. Home is in Chicago. Sure she’s married, and set up a place to stay in Canada, yadda yadda yadda…. but let’s reserve the word HOME for me, okay? sheesh!

  11. Couples anywhere are annoying. All in love with their lives ahead of them. They can still laugh about their problems. It’s disgusting. I didn’t realize that people in Seattle still thought it was 1992. Get over it. Cobain and Staley are dead and Vedder plays the ukulele now. I don’t know which is worse.

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