New Years Eve

Someone tell Bono that he's making AIDS worse.

I think 2011 was one of my greatest years. So many crazy things happened! I graduated from an English University, I got married, I moved to a different country, I made new friends, and made a blog.  Lots of milestones packed into one year! I wonder what 2012 holds?

I rarely make resolutions. If I do, it’s usually “lose weight” along with every other girl on the planet. Even when we girls are skinny, we never appreciate it. There’s always room to lose a pound or two. But I’m going to exclude that from my resolutions this year, because, lets face it, it’s not gonna happen. So here it goes, 2012 Resolutions!

1. Stop hatin’. I can hate on everything and anyone. Seriously, its a gift. But instead of saying “hate” I should just say that I highly dislike something. Approximate time that this resolution will last: 1 week.

2. Volunteer more. Working for no pay is possibly the worst idea that anyone has ever thought of. I also highly dislike the phrase ‘pro bono’ because it looks like pro Bono, the annoying Irishman who won’t take off those hideous shades. I’m definitely anti Bono. I feel like I should be doing more work though, and since I can’t really get a job, I might do some volunteering. Hopefully it will be good for my soul. Approx. time this will last:  4 months. Do I have too much faith in myself?

3. Be more spontaneous. In Victoria, I literally do the same thing day after day. I need to go explore, make friends, find activities (not that blogging isn’t a good activity!) and make more of life. Approx. lasting time: 2 minutes.

4. Read more. I used to be really into reading books from the “Classics” section of Barnes and Noble. Now I read a blog or two and I’m exhausted. Approx. lasting time: The whole year (because that’s how long it takes me to read a single book).

5. Make our apartment cozy and perfect. I have been saving up for a couch ever since I moved to Canada. I don’t work that often, so I’ve only saved up a little over $1000. But hey, I babysit for a living! I’m not a citizen, so I can’t get a real job right now. I’m proud of my savings! I am about half way to my couch! I also got a great deal on an entertainment center for our TV. Slowly but surely, my perfect home is falling into place. Approx lasting time: Forever.

6. Go to church more. I’ve been seriously slacking. It’s not that I don’t want to go, because I do. I really do. I’m just SO LAZY. I cannot be bothered to get there at 9:30am. I really want to go every week, AND start reading my scriptures more because I don’t remember anything. There were some religious questions on Jeopardy and I didn’t know anything! How embarrassing. Approx. lasting time: Until the next Rapture.

7. Complain a lot little less. This is tricky since there is so much to complain about daily. Dumb people, smart people, people who think they’re smart but they’re really dumb, people who think they’re dumb but they’re really smart, people in general, etc. Approx. lasting time: I don’t even know if I can start this one.

Wow making resolutions is so depressing. I thought this year was pretty good, but look at all the things I can fix. Or I don’t have to change at all, since, lets face it, I’m literally the best person in existence. I just made this list to feel a little more human.

New 2012 Resolution: Try not to be so great.

Feelings, Food

Blood Types

Have I mentioned that I like ANYTHING that relates to me?

Something that frustrates me a lot is when people don’t know information about themselves. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. This might sound conceited, narcissistic, egotistical, etc, but I love any information that has to do with myself. I enjoy astrology, Chinese astrology, genealogy, the meaning of names, family crests, birthstones, palm readings, tarot cards, basically anything that tells you about yourself. If I lived in the 17th century, I would have been deemed a witch for sure. Actually, I did a Ghost Tour in Edinburgh and guess who was chosen to be the witch burned at the stake? ME. Only because I was popping my gum the entire tour and the tour guide hated me. Sorry, but if my gum popping throws you off, how are you ever going to make it in life?

An important detail about oneself that I think is of value to know are blood types. Many people in Canada don’t know their blood types. I don’t know why. Fun fact: my husband is adopted. I married a mystery man. He, of course doesn’t know his blood type. AND he doesn’t even care. I always say, what if you got in a car crash and they needed to give you blood?! He says that testing blood is so easy and quick that it wouldn’t matter. Well if its so easy and quick, why don’t you know your blood type then?

I used to give blood at school blood drives and church blood drives. Basically at any blood drives. I’m surprised I don’t have AIDS by now. A few times I got turned down because I was anemic or something. I guess I don’t get enough iron in my diet. Sorry I don’t eat spinach, prunes, red meat, liver, oysters, or egg yolks. Sorry I’m not disgusting. Sorry I’m not sorry. My blood is fine. The nurses are clearly just jealous that I have perfect blood and they have chunks of iron floating around in theirs. Maybe Paul shouldn’t find out his blood type. Too much drama.


Bored Games

This makes me want to vom.

Do you see what I did with the title? I’m so smart and clever. My family has been playing lots of board games since we’ve all been home. And by lots of board games, I mean we’ve exclusively been playing a Jeopardy game that’s from 1992. You know how Alex Trebek always seems so snide when he reads the answer after a contestant makes a wrong guess? Maybe snide isn’t the right word. I’m too lazy to look up words that describe Alex Trebek. Just trust me when I say that Alex is annoying when he reads the answers. He acts as if every answer is so obvious. And he reads all foreign words in the proper accent which never ceases to make me cringe.

Trebek is originally from Canada. Sudbury, Ontario to be exact. He renounced his citizenship and became American. Which is weird. I would never give up my citizenship! I mean, he’s had a stable job since 1984 so I guess its understandable that he would just become a US citizen. Our country would clearly be lost without him.

There are so many games and game shows available to us nowadays it’s amazing that we don’t play a game every day. I feel like I don’t play enough card games. Card games are always so strategic. I appreciate a game that gives you props to use in either circumstance of winning or losing. You can throw down your cards after you win and say “IN YOUR FACE!” And you can also throw down your cards when you lose and say you don’t feel like playing anymore.

Card games are definitely the most satisfying of all the game types to win. I’ve tried to teach myself to play poker through facebook’s poker game. I’m almost decent. There’s a little chat section in the game where the other people playing can talk to you. Every once in a while people would say to me “nh” which freaked me out. Eventually I realized it stood for “nice hand.” As if I had any control over what hand I was dealt. Pshh. After a while I just pretended that they thought my hands were nice and pretty so I would respond “ty” (thank you).

Tonight I hung out in a friends basement and we played a game called Apples to Apples which was kind of fun. I had heard a lot of good things about it, but after playing it for a while, it was pretty boring. It takes absolutely no skill to play. I wouldn’t recommend it. I also brought my Jeopardy game. It wasn’t well received at first, but I think everyone enjoyed it. Let me clear up any confusion: Yes, I am 24 and still hang out in people’s basements and play board games. Not much has changed since I was 13.



living in canada

Dear Property Brothers, I think I love you.

Drew and Jonathan. Or Jonathan and Drew. Does it really matter?

Whilst watching TV with my mom in bed (Yep. That happens here.) we were flipping around the channels and my mom turned on HGTV. That’s usually about the time that I peace out, but since I couldn’t feel the lower part of my body after eating McDonald’s, I decided to stay.

This show called “The Property Brothers” was on and guess what? It takes place in Canada! I was immediately intrigued. Basically, couples seek out these twin bros (the property brothers) to help them find their perfect house. The couples are eventually told that they won’t be able to afford their dream house, and that they’ll have to settle for a cheaper, fugly one instead. Lots of disappointment. But then the property bros fix up the fugly houses and make them look like perfect dream homes. Magic! Pure Canadian magic!

Paul and I live in an apartment. But eventually, we would like to be homeowners. To be completely honest, the only reason that I want to move into a house is so I can have a dog. Our apartment doesn’t allow pets. Which is a sick joke. I obviously have no other choice but to seduce the property brothers into making me us my our perfect home. This is literally the best and only plan of action I have. These brothers have to be around in 3 years, right? Right. If not, I will track them down and force them to work for me. Seems like a good way to make friends.

It’s already a lot of work living in an apartment and I literally sit around all day. I can’t imagine the work that goes into owning a house. I mean, I can imagine it since I’ve watched my parents do lots of house stuff over the years, but they made it look easy. Or maybe they made it look hard. Either way, I was probably immersed in finding various ways to waste time to even care. But now I care. And now it’s too late. So I need the property brothers.

*Side note: My parents would definitely help with any homeowner problems that we would have in the future, but I like doing things myself. And since I can’t do this on my own, I need the prop bros. Get it?



Here's a picture of a sad little clown girl to represent my emotions.

If you’ve never been separated from a loved one, consider yourself lucky. It seriously stinks. Paul left to go back home to Canada today. I figured it would be worthwhile to stay at my parent’s house a little longer so I could have some quality family time and so I could “help out” (whatever that means). Basically it was my idea to stay longer. It sounded like a good idea at the time.

I don’t know if you have seen the movie, Like Crazy, but it seems like a similar situation. I actually didn’t get a chance to see it, but I know it’s about two people who want to be together but they can’t. Obviously Paul and I can be together since we’re married, but I remember a time when we wouldn’t see each other for the entire summer and then we would reunite for the entire school year and then separate again. It’s rough. Especially when you have to deal with only being in a country for a certain amount of time (which I believe the movie focuses on). Like Crazy is the worst title, by the way. Like. Crazy. Just no.

Its a weird feeling: wanting to be in a certain place but also wanting to be somewhere else. I want to be home. I want to be with my family. But I also want to be with Paul in our little home. I guess I should just focus on the good things that I have here, because once I go back to Canada, I won’t be able to have them.

Why is life full of so many choices? Why does it have to be this or that? I mean, I have been very lucky in life. I shouldn’t complain about missing someone that I will end up seeing in 2 weeks. It’s just hard.

Have you guys ever had a situation where you missed someone so much that it hurt not being with them? Am I over-dramatic? Yes. But seriously, answer the question and make me feel better.


It’s Christmas Time, and by golly, you’ll like it!

Those who are politically correct belong on the Island of Misfit Toys.

Pretty much everyone in the first world knows that it’s Christmas time. We’ve been celebrating it for the entirety of our lives. We have our traditions, our family, our homes, and delicious food to look forward to. It’s a time of happiness, and most importantly, celebrating the birth of our Savior. Some would say it’s a magical time.

It seems like people have lost sight of what a special time this is, though. The world is becoming more and more focused on being ‘pc’ or politically correct. In an elementary school in Canada, the faculty told the students that they were not allowed to have a Holiday Party. Why? Because some people don’t celebrate the holidays. I can see where they were going with this, but I have to strongly disagree and say that this is child abuse. Okay maybe not child abuse, but I would threaten to kill myself if I went to that school.

Maybe the kids whose parents don’t celebrate the holidays WISH they could. Maybe this school party was the one thing that would put them in the holiday spirit and the school stomped all over their dreams. The school decided that they would have a party in February so it wouldn’t coincide with any specific religious events. Oh how politically correct of you! You really make school such a fun experience by taking away any sort of enjoyment that they could’ve had.

In 1998 I was in 5th grade. I remember vividly that my class had a CHRISTMAS PARTY every year up until 5th grade. The 90’s were a great time because everyone was semi-racist and Christmas was the only holiday that was recognized. “Oh, you’re jewish? Use this candy cane to catch your tears.” In 5th grade I opted out of public school and decided to do homeschool instead. Not because I was boycotting the fact that there wasn’t a Christmas Party (because there definitely was), but because I started to hate everyone at the ripe age of 11.

It’s so wrong to take away a child’s school party. That was one of the best things to look forward to! I have some of the best Christmas tree decorations that I made in elementary school. So classic. I don’t remember making menorahs. And I pretty much ignored Kwanzaa’s existence until college.

I would say the majority of kids in school celebrate Christmas. When you take it away for the one kid that doesn’t, you ruin everyone else’s fun. And let’s face it, that one kid would have so much fun eating Christmas cupcakes and making a wreath out of macaroni for his parents.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays! Whichever one you celebrate (or don’t), have a good one!

Food, Holidays

Whiter Shades of Pale

Get in my belly.

It’s weird to be home. I’m thrown off my groove and I feel lazier than usual. The weirdest thing though, is that this home isn’t really my home any more. It is, but it isn’t. It’s kind of interesting having Paul here with me though, because I feel like I’m experiencing things through his eyes and, unfortunately, the USA might be just as weird as Canada.

Where I live in suburbia Illinois, there’s a historic town close by called Long Grove. The town is supposed to be quaint and charming, but it’s kind of boring and ghetto. I mean, you can definitely find some cool spots like this bakery that sells apple cider donuts. They melt in your mouth and make you re-think your entire life. So good. Too good.

There’s a shop called Nifty 50’s that basically just sells all kinds of crap. I’m pretty sure no one needs a life size cardboard cut-out of John Wayne or Marilyn Monroe, but they have them. They also specialize in I Love Lucy attire and all things diner-like. I mean, I love Lucy just as much as the next person, but do I really need to sport that on a sweatshirt? If you look hard enough (or at all), you’ll find things that don’t belong. Today I spotted a Michael Jackson cut-out and a Tommy Bahama shirt. Ummm Nifty 50’s? More like, All Hoarders Welcome!

There are 2 stores in Long Grove that sell purely Irish goods. And by goods, I mean souvenirs. It makes you feel like you’ve gone to Ireland and managed to avoid actually seeing anyone that’s ginger or drunk or Irish. One store is better than the other. I say this because I’ve only been to one of them and I like to think that it’s the best. The store is overwhelmingly Irish; From plaques with the Irish Blessing printed on it, to claddagh rings, to copies of the movie Leap Year. It’s ridiculous, but insanely better than Nifty 50’s. Yet it doesn’t hold a flame to the apple cider donuts.

My family made sure to hit every store that included some sort of food, so next we went into the Long Grove Popcorn Shop. They have popcorn of all flavors. Grape, toffee, strawberry, bleu cheese, caramel–you name it, they have it. Unfortunately they didn’t offer a mixed bag of caramel, cheese, and buttered, so we left seriously disappointed. And I genuinely wondered why my family’s happiness hinged on popcorn flavors.

Long Grove reminded me that no matter where you go in the world, you’re going to find something very weird that everyone else has deemed normal. I’m sure everyone in Canada feels like they’re normal, meanwhile they’re the universe’s Nifty 50’s.