victoria b.c.

The Motherland

Looks a little too much like England.

Canada still maintains a lot of its British roots. I guess since they’re part of the Commonwealth Canada feels the need to celebrate their British-ness all the time. But why would you want to be proud of being colonized? I think England tried to turn it into a good thing–“Hey guys, remember when we totally took over your country? Well, now you get to be a part of our cool Commonwealth club! But don’t be fooled by the name, you won’t become wealthy for joining.”

Canada only became independent in 1981. 1981. Ummmm. But it’s weird because England still adores Canada. Whereas when everyone fled to the US (in 1607) to gain independence, England pretty much disowned us. Well, we disowned ourselves. But still, in Buckingham Palace, there’s a Commonwealth display and Canada’s as prominent and totem-poley as ever. They also have a huge “Canada Gate” outside of the Palace, and a memorial statue with maple leaves on it in Green Park. Its like, OKAY WE GET IT, CANADA IS YOUR LOVER.

Apparently, Victoria has the most British influence out of all the Canadian cities. This doesn’t surprise me. They love fish and chips here. LOVE. I wish they would just refer to them as fish and fries to make it less traditional. But nope. They also have lots of pubs. I actually prefer pubs to bars, but I’m still not okay with it.

There is a lack of 1 dollar bills here. And by lack, I mean they don’t exist. They use equivalents to the 1 pound and 2 pound coins. And trust me, they will weigh you down. It’s pretty obnoxsh.

At lets not forget how they spell certain words. They include the unnecessary “u” in colour, favourite, savour, etc. Why make words longer and more creepy?

Oh and they don’t have presidents. They have Prime Ministers much like their motherland. And Parliament buildings (which I guess means they have a Parliament?).

What really makes me think that they are trying way too hard is that they have double-decker buses. It’s like, really?

Oh, and it rains a lot. So even their weather is a copy.

Remember when Will and Kate did their Canadian Tour and they thought Canada was so cool? That was weird. Who are they trying to fool? Kate had some good outfits, but it didn’t salvage the fact that she had to spend a week here. She seemed like she didn’t get the big deal about Canada either. I’m pretty sure we’re soul mates.

When it comes down to it, I think Canada needs to decide if they’re their own “independent” country or if they’re a mini-England (not geographically speaking, obvs). Canada needs to just be Canada and embrace all of the weird things that they do. When you start taking someone else’s traditions and characteristics then you lose your own distinction. Get with the program, Canada.


12 thoughts on “The Motherland

  1. Lisa says:

    I think you and Kate are soul mates. I definitely thought I saw her looking around thinking, “Is this all there is?” (Yes, I can read Kate’s thoughts…) If Canada broke away from the Commonwealth, I’m pretty sure England would just shrug it off. Like what are they going to do, start a war? (clearly I have no grasp of the global significance of such a move – I just like to imagine the world in a simple way.) : )

    • I wish I could. My other half lives here so I have to stay and make a sacrifice *shudder*
      But yeah Canada is weird. I do like your solution though! Very wise. I’m also on an island though, so I’m pretty much trapped for life.

  2. That extra letter is used because that is how the word is spelt, not some lazy American variation, we invented English by jove!

    Two things Canada has that England doesn’t:

    French People

    How the hell did the French get over there anyway? I’m pretty sure it’s just to violate said Moose. (Or Meese as I call them when there’s more than one πŸ™‚ )

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