Judging

Old Peeps


I’ve never liked elderly people. They just scare me and frustrate me so much. I mean, there are a select few that are super sweet and cute. They always have great stories, but after a while its like, okay stop talking. I always just feel uneasy around them. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t raised with any old grandparents. Mine were always fairly young, and they still kind of are = good genes!

One of the first couple weeks that I arrived in Canada, I was talking to someone and they said that Victoria was home of the “newlywed and nearly dead”. At first I thought it was cute. But then I heard more and more people saying this and it was like, okay, cute phrase, but please stop. The scary part is, they were right.

There are an insane amount of old people here. Sorry, I like to call them old people instead of elderly people because “elderly” makes me feel like I should be respecting them. I just hate having to drive slow behind them, or walk slow behind them, or repeat things 20 times, or talk like I am 40 feet away from them. And sometimes they will cut in line and no one will say anything because they are old and stupid. But you know what? I don’t think they’re stupid. I think they know exactly what they are doing–trying to piss everyone off.

I sound so cruel. But I just get so frustrated with them. I can’t help it. One thing I do like about old people though is that they are all incredibly racist which is barrels of fun. I also like when they start saying things that don’t make sense. Or telling stories about how rough The Depression was. Um derrr that’s why it was called The Depression.

I can’t help thinking about how people choose to be around old peeps all the time. Seems like a death sentence. I could never really bond with Diane Court from Say Anything because I knew she worked at that old people home. I know she was supposed to be the valedictorian and everything, but working there didn’t seem like the smartest choice in my book. Especially when she probably has to bathe them and stuff. Sick. Llyod handled the situation the same way that I do when I babysit–pop in a vid. “So, here’s Cocoon.”

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6 thoughts on “Old Peeps

  1. Adair says:

    The really sucky part is that unless you are Benjamin Button, we all get old. Personally, I’m saving for life-long Botox injections.

  2. Lisa says:

    Is that a real sign in Victoria? Nice that the hunch back is the symbol for being old. I don’t mind the elderly so much…I’m more like Diane Court. Hanging out with them makes me feel young and vital and keeps me grounded. Always good to remind yourself that the future is bleak so you might as well enjoy today! Hahaha!

    • Haha hmmmm maybs. But do you really want to be like Diane Court? I mean, she had that weird speech impediment, and she was mean to Lloyd and gave him a pen. Although, I think you were quite the heart breaker in your day. So maybe you are like Diane. Maybe you ARE Diane.

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