Just when I thought things couldn’t get any creepier here, I had to overhear talk about “Canada’s Wonderland”. CANADA’S WONDERLAND. I guess this is some sort of theme park/cruel joke. When I imagine a Canadian Wonderland, I think of acres of ice skating, rivers of maple syrup, and a petting zoo with polar bears. Not a greasy, carnie*-filled parking lot with rides called Behemoth and Mighty Canadian Minebuster.
The park is located in outer Toronto and apparently Walt Disney considered this as a location for one of his parks but he decided the climate would limit how long the park could stay open. As soon as Walt sobered up, he obviously realized that no one would cross the boarder to go to that park. Plus, at that point (1972), Canadians were still referred to as Yetis and Sasquatches.
That being said, Canada’s Wonderland has had far less ride-related deaths (none) than say, Six Flags. You can see the rust on the rides at Six Flags. Also, you might still be able to see some hairs that were caught in the gears when that one girl got scalped on the Giant Drop. That might just be a rumor, but it has successfully deterred me from visiting the park for years/ever.
*Carnies are carnival workers. They are foul smelling, usually missing teeth, and can look through your soul. Think about that next time you go on a ride–do you really want to trust this person with your life?