canada, Food, Judging, Stores

The Name Game


So advanced.

I never cease to be amazed at the names of the stores here. Big corporations, family owned businesses, you name it–they sure do know how to pick the worst names possible.

Lets start with The Velvet Crease. I feel like I don’t have to say a lot about this one. When I think of describing an elderly woman’s “lady parts” or as Snooki would call it, “kooka”, I think of a velvet crease. I know, I KNOW. Its not very lady-like to think that. But its also not very lady-like to name your store The Velvet Crease and put those thoughts in my head. By the way, its a woman’s consignment store, if your interested in that kind of thing.

Another woman’s clothing store in Victoria is called Sunday’s Snowflake. This is much more wholesome than the above mentioned.  But still. I just don’t understand it. It sounds like something a 5 year old girl would have named her pony.

Paul and I decided to try a Chinese buffet that neither of us had been to called Raymond’s. Now that I think about it, Raymond isn’t a typical Chinese name. Its not even a typical American name actually.  I was forced to initially judge the establishment before I had even stepped inside.  How could this food be any good if some guy named Raymond was back in the kitchen making it? Isn’t that cheating? You can’t have an American making Chinese food. It just doesn’t work. The closest Americans come to making their own Asian food is stir-fry and its usually sub par and tastes like blood and tears–we don’t sweat. It would be a better establishment if it was named something more traditional like Ngu Hsz. Good luck on the pronunciation, but it would have some good eats guaranteed.

There is also Future Shop which is the equivalent of Best Buy or Circuit City (R.I.P.) I don’t know who decided to name it Future Shop but I think they are semi-retarded. The stuff they sell in the store–sorry, shop— is not anywhere near being futuristic. Most of the items they are selling have been used for the past 30 years. I wouldn’t refer to my TV as a device from the future, but then again, I’m not from Canada.

I mean, we have some pretty weird store names in the US–Piggly Wiggly gives me the creeps, but there are just too many here that it starts to negate any of the stupid stuff we do.

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3 thoughts on “The Name Game

  1. The Velvet Crease is a fantastic name for a shop. As soon as I read it I too thought of lady bits but not ones belonging to old ‘uns.

    Raymond’s is just weird for a Chinese place, it’s like calling a vegetarian sandwich shop ‘Akira’. Here in the UK I have seen a bakery called ‘The Dutch Oven’ which made me think about the times I used to fart under my quilt and then shove someone’s head under it.

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