TV

Lily Playing Jeopardy

Every weeknight my husband watches Jeopardy and I join him on occasion. I have trouble answering a lot of the questions, or questioning a lot of the answers, as you do on Jeopardy. Sometimes I’ll be familiar with a category and start thinking of possible answers before the questions are even asked. By doing so, I manage to make Jeopardy the least fun activity ever.

Let’s say someone picks the category Bible Books By Story. Here’s what it would be like to watch with me:

Some loser on the show named Sheila or something dumb: I’ll take Bible Books for $200 Alex.

Me: Ugh don’t call him Alex.

Alex: A great fish swallows a reluctant prophet.

Me: Who is John?

Sheila: Who is Jonah?

Alex: Correct!

Me: Oh yeah. I knew it started with a ‘J’.

Sheila: Let’s continue the category for $400.

Me: Yes, let’s.

Alex: Moas and boas are loaded into Noah’s ark.

Me: John?

Sheila: What is Genesis?

Alex: Right!

Me: Oh yeah. I forgot about that one.

Sheila: Bible Books for $600 please.

Alex: 3 friends are thrown into a fiery furnace.

Me: I’m gonna go with John.

Sheila: What is Genesis?

Alex: No sorry.

Me: HAH you already guessed Genesis you loser. Geeze Sheila, figure out the Bible already.

Sheila: Bible Books $800.

Alex: Shamgar, one of the title arbiters, kills 600 Philistines with an ox goad.

Me: Wtf is an ox goad? I’m pretty sure that was John.

Sheila: What is Judges?

Alex: Yes!

Me: Calm down Alex.

Sheila: Finish the category please.

Alex: Thomas doubts the other Apostles have really met the risen Jesus.

Me: John?

Shelia: Idk

Alex: Ooo sorry. The answer is John.

Me: tumblr_mefgifPOxU1rw0x65o1_500

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Judging

The Doctor Is In

I think its about time that everyone was introduced to Dr. Kenford Nedd.  Every so often my TV-watching schedule is blessed with a 1 minute session (commercial) from the doc. Dr. Ken Nedd has been practicing family medicine for 20 years, so he’s pretty much a genius in his field. And by genius, I mean…not-genius. He specializes in stress relief. Let me give you an example of what I see on a day to day basis:

Besides scaring the crap out of me, he has a point. Unfortunately, I have come across that point a little less than a hundred times in my life. Like, really? That’s your one minute? You have one minute on-air and that’s the lesson you choose? The only epiphany I have after these commercials is that I should’ve become a doctor of family medicine because it seems incredibly straight-forward. Also, it seems like I could be a Harvard professor as well since the study that he contrived is the most obvious thing known to man.

Maybe I have trouble taking him seriously because his name is Dr. Ken Nedd. Also because he’s being over-enthusiastic to the point of disbelief. No one is that excited about doing something unselfish. Except Jesus. And that’s why we celebrate his birthday unselfishly by giving gifts to other people (and secretly hoping that we get everything off of our lists that we unselfishly made for ourselves).

I appreciate having a minute with a doctor without leaving my couch, but I just think it should be a little more worthwhile. My minutes are precious, doctor.

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