Girl Guides

Okay so I guess it’s Girl Guide cookie season in my neck of Canada right now. It’s fine if you didn’t understand anything I said in that sentence because I’ll explain. In Canada they wrongly refer to Girl Scouts as Girl Guides. Like, who do they guide? They’re 9 years old. You can scout when you’re 9. But you can’t guide people because most people are smarter and have more life experience than you. So Canada, you’re wrong again. Sars (sorry). But seriously everyone in Canada might have Sars. Even if they don’t, lets start the rumor.

I was eating the Girl Guide cookies that my husband bought us me and thinking about writing a piece about this heinous topic. But then I thought that I wouldn’t have enough to write about. BUT THENNN I remembered that I’m nothing short of genius and can write about even the most trivial of subjects.

Shouldn’t these gals, sorry guides, be selling their cookies in the fall? Isn’t that when kids sell their cookies? I might be wrong but I thought that Girl Scout time coincided with the start of the school year. I mean, I was only in Brownies (for maybe a year?) but I don’t remember selling cookies in the Spring. Or ever.

Perhaps the most shameful thing about Girl Guide cookies is that they only have two different flavors. Like, we have 11 flavors in the good old US of A. Some people would argue that’s because we’re fatties. Which is true. Other people might point out that our country spends too much money on stupid things. Also true. But they’re probably just jealous because we have spending money from our good friend China.

At least in the states we give our Girl Scout cookies charming names like Do-si-dos (a cute nod to the square-dancing patch), Caramel deLites, Savannah Smiles, etc. Still living the American Dream obviously. The Girl Guide cookies don’t have names and are described as “chocolate cookies and vanilla creme cookies.” Ummmm wait what? Do you have no pride?

Girl Guides even have a similar cookie to the Thin Mint. Their version is called “chocolatey mint cookie” and I really wish I was joking, but I’m afraid thems the facts.

Can we just have a moment of silence for Canada’s Girl Guides and their lack of cookie names and flavors? Don’t get me wrong though, I will still eat any cookies that anyone buys for me.

Foo Asian Street Food

I don’t think it’s any mystery that I like food. I also love eating out. To me, food tastes better when it’s prepared by someone else. It’s about the experience. I’d rather pay a little extra for service, a good meal that I couldn’t make myself, and the relaxation of not having to wash dishes when I’m finished. It’s just worth it to me.

I love finding new restaurants to love–secret spots that no one has heard of or popular places that my friends have raved about. The other week, my husband and I passed a tiny spot called Foo on the way to the movies. We had walked past the place many times but never  ventured in to see what they had to offer. Last week we decided to take a chance and I’m so glad we did.

For those of you who’ve been to Wagamama in England (I think there is one in the Brisbane airport, one in Boston, and maybe one in DC–trust me, I keep my eyes open for Wagamama locations…) it’s kind of like that but on a much smaller level. They describe their food as “Asian Street Food” which my stereotypical mind automatically thought was code for “We Cook Cats and Dogs.”  I was wrong. It’s actually code for “We Prepare Amazing Food That Will Keep You Coming Back For More.”

Foo’s menu is the perfect size. There are only about 12 options to choose from along with about 4 daily specials. I like how simple they make things. Nothing is more daunting than a Cheesecake Factory menu with so many pages that you feel like you’ve finished reading a short novel afterwards.

The ambiance is so cool and hip and that’s saying a lot coming from me. I immediately hone in on people and places that try too hard. It turns me off. But Foo is just cool. They play 80′s and 90′s pop music and have two rows of window seats where diners can people watch while they eat their grub. I usually don’t like seating like that–I hate having to balance on a stool while eating with chopsticks (I could join Cirque du Soleil after that) but it just works with the atmosphere of the place.

My husband tried their Rare Steak Salad. He’s much more adventurous than I am.

So far I have tried two different items off of the menu: Pad Thai with Pork and Prawns, and Red Coconut Curry. The dishes they serve seem so perfect and clean–each served in a white bowl–but they actually give you a lot of food. Very filling and delicious. The flavors aren’t boring or predictable.

I know that I really like a restaurant when I try different things on the menu. I’m usually a creature of habit and will find one thing I like and stick to it, but at Foo everything sounds so delicious and actually is scrumptious, that I find myself having to try a little bit of everything they have to offer.

Overall, Foo is a fun and easy place to eat where you will have a good meal guaranteed. I’m going there again tomorrow and I can’t wait!

Should I get the Pork and Pineapple Fried Rice, Beef and Brocoli Chow Mein, Butter Chicken, or Caramel Chicken? Choices, Choices…

 

Projects

I have a lot of projects I’m working on. But they aren’t like home-type projects. Or projects that anyone else would consider a “project” but they’re projects to me and this is my blog so I win.

Drinking tea. I know I know. Drinking tea isn’t really a hard thing to do. I mean, you have to heat up water which can kind of be a pain, but other than that, it doesn’t take much skill. I just have a lot of tea in the house for some reason and my OCD keeps telling me to make room in the cabinets. What can I get rid of? How can I make space? The answer was simply to drink all the tea that we had in the course of a week. I’ve been having 5-6 cups a day which is weird because I usually hate drinking water or anything that isn’t Diet Pepsi, but I had to do it to make space for other food. (I realize I could have simply moved the tea, or given it to someone else, but no.)

Teeth whitening. Ever since I questioned my dental hygienist about whether I should get my teeth whitened, I’ve been interested in the process. The only reason I became more interested is because my hygienist’s answer was that my teeth were “pretty white” but “they could be whiter.” Well there you have it. They aren’t perfect and this is making me feel gross. I didn’t feel comfortable asking my parents to pay for my teeth whitening (well, that’s not true, I felt totally comfortable but it just didn’t end up happening) so I bought an at-home whitening kit. And no, I didn’t buy Crest White Strips. I’m not made of money! I didn’t think the kit was doing it’s job until Paul and I were eating lunch the other day and he told me my teeth looked white. AWWW. Love that guy.

Lotioning. I’m getting prepared for tanning season, or summer as other people refer to it. If your skin isn’t moist and lotioned nicely, your tan won’t stick, and you’ll be ugly. At least that’s what I tell myself. Plus, lotion smells good and it makes your legs look silky. Nice, luxurious lotions can be costly though. I purchased three good-sized bottles for $40 from Sephora and the scents are so weird. The first one I used was Lemon and Sage. It was okay, and thankfully the sage was kept to a minimum. I didn’t want to come off smelling like a lost love child of Stevie Nicks. The scent I’m currently using, and second in the pack is Blood Orange and White Pepper. Like, who was in charge of that combination? It sounds like a new potato chip flavor. But it’s actually more orangey than peppery so it’s not that bad. Actually, it’s not bad at all. Luckily, the last scent is Raspberry Champagne. Save the best for last. Always always. Except with food. Definitely eat the best things first so no one else can have them.

Running. UGH. I thought I was over this torture. I hadn’t been consistently working out since I moved to Canada. I used to be one of those people who worked out all the time. Then I moved and got distracted. I tried working out, doing different things so I wouldn’t lose interest, but I lost interest a lot. The other day, however, I ran on the treadmill for a bit and I really liked it. So I guess I’m getting into that again. *sigh*

Do you have any “projects” that you’re working on?

Modern-er Family

I was watching my Wednesday night line-up last night and I kind of got fed up with Modern Family. It’s almost too modern that it doesn’t even make sense. Well, I guess it makes sense but it just bothers me. Like, no family is that mixed and multicultural and skinny. Here are some things that I would change about the show to make it more realistic and a better watch overall.

First and foremost I think Claire, the mom, should die of anorexia. They always make comments about how she likes to workout or about how skinny she is. The plot twist is already halfway there. Maybe she had a case of exercise bulimia, couldn’t stop working out after each meal, and just slowly ended her life. Now the kids have to depend on their single parent, Phil, for everything. Phil, instead of being his funny, happy self, spirals into a deep depression and doesn’t come out of his room except to eat. He loses his job and the 4 of them have to move into a 2 bedroom apartment. Modernity at it’s finest.

Cam and Mitch decide that it’s time to get married. They travel to Massachusetts, tie the knot, and eventually travel down to DC to become gay rights activists. They lead marches and protests and eventually put their daughter’s happiness on the back burner. Lily, being the annoying child that she is, goes across the street to the picketers from the Westboro Baptist church. She rebels against her parents and finds a place in the Westboro community. And she gets to make really colorful signs which no kindergartner can resist.

Now that Claire is out of the picture, Phil is finally able to make a move on Gloria. Gloria welcomes the change–she almost forgot what it was like to be with a semi-youthful man. Jay finds out and gets Gloria and Manny deported–sent back to Columbia. Manny becomes a drug lord and eventually pimps out his mother. He makes millions. Since Jay and Gloria’s newborn was born in the states, Jay keeps the child and raises it. In his will, he leaves all his money to baby Joe.

Doesn’t that sound like a better show? Much more interesting and well…modern. In times like these we need a show that we can relate to, not a Brady Bunch filler that takes our mind off of the scary world around us. It might not be as funny as the Modern Family that everyone knows and loves, but it will be real and raw. Sorry I’m such a creative genius.

Jobs That Shouldn’t Exist

Occasionally when my husband and I sit down to watch Jeopardy, we catch a bit of Wheel of Fortune beforehand. While I was studying the show, I noticed Vanna White dressed to the nines. And by nines, I mean wearing dresses that someone her age should not be wearing unless they’re up for an Academy Award.

What kind of prestigious job does Vanna do that requires her to wear such gorgeous uniforms? Why she touches panels that have been lit up, of course! In all seriousness folks, do we really need to keep paying Vanna to do this? Honestly? We live in the 21st century for crying out loud! Can’t the panels show the letter on their own now? She really has to go up to each one and touch it? Update your set, Wheel of Fortune. How can you be able to give away “fortunes” but not have up-to-date technology?

Also, do we really need to keep paying for extras in movies and TV? Can’t they just film shows and whoever ends up in the background is just part of the show that day? Is it really necessary to pay people to walk from one end of the set to the other? I know what you’re thinking, What if the show is a period piece and the extras need to be dressed up and go through makeup? You bring up a good point. If people want to be extras then they can get dressed up and be in the background and their payment is that they get to be in the background of a really cool movie or TV show.

I’m actually not sure if this is a job or if volunteers do it, but either way I hate them. Those bell ringers at Christmas time who want money for the Salvation Army or whatever? Like, do you really need to stand there? Why don’t you just leave a box accepting donations at the registers of the stores you’re standing outside of? Also, don’t you think people would’ve donated money already if they wanted to? Are you supposed to put me in the giving spirit? Because you’re putting me in the murder someone spirit.

I’m kind of torn about this next job because I appreciate them, but I also feel like they’re unnecessary. Models–do we really need people to show us how expensive clothes look on someone way skinnier than the person buying the clothes? Probs not. Like, if I wanted to buy something, I would try it on, not see how it looks sashaying down the runway. I actually think models are gorge, fun to look at, and almost an art form really. That being said, their job entails walking and posing for pictures. I do that every day so where are my millions?

Lastly, I hate the people who stand by the side of busy roads and wave signs that say “BLOWOUT SALE” or “BUY TWO PIZZAS GET ONE FREE!” How hard is it to find signs that stick in the ground? You really want to pay someone to stand outside holding a sign? Is that being proactive? No. Stick the sign in the ground and then you’ll save money, save your business from embarrassment, and save your employee from wanting to throw himself/herself in front of a moving vehicle.

Why do I constantly have to tell the world how it can improve itself? These are simple solutions to dumb problems.

Can you think of any unnecessary jobs?

Spring Favorites

I used to have seasonal favorites segments on my blog, you know, my favorite things during that time in my life. But I stopped doing them for some reason. Maybe I stopped liking things. Regardless, I am back with new favorites and some shameless self-promotion. Whatevs.

1. Heart. As in Heart the band. My husband really likes Heart and I’d never really given them a chance so I always thought he was crazy. But I’ve been listening to them on repeat for 4 days and it’s starting to get weird. Like, I cannot stop. It’s unhealthy. I like blasting Alone in my room and pretending I’m some love-sick 80′s teenager.

2. Tumblr. If you’re bored and like looking at pictures of funny things, pretty models, and cool photography, you should check out my tumblr. I’d taken a long break from posting stuff on there but now I’m back into it and I’m lovin’ it! There is a link to it at the top of my blog where it says “My Links” or you can click HERE.

3. Candy Crush. I have a love/hate relationship with this Facebook game. It’s so addicting. I’m one of those people who will play every video game and computer game around. I love Facebook games and I’m not ashamed of it. I was a little late on the uptake with this one though. I thought I was over my love of gaming. Then, one rainy day I bought the App for my iPad and I haven’t looked back since.

4. My friend’s blog. I have a friend here who’s almost in an identical situation as me–stuck in Canada, missing the states, etc. Except she’s from San Diego so she really must be feeling the pain! Her recent blog post describes both of our feelings towards Canada very well–we shouldn’t be complaining…but we still manage to do so. If you wanna check it out click HERE.

5. Long walks. I’ve been going on hour long walk/runs lately and its been really refreshing. Maybe it’s because the weather has been so nice here and it feels like spring has finally sprung. My favorite places to walk are along the ocean and through parks. Very serene and peaceful.

6. Kidz Showz. If you haven’t visited my other blog that I share with Mooselicker, what are you waiting for?! It’s chock full of everyone’s favorite memories–children’s shows! I think everyone can bond over kid’s shows, whether you hate them or you love them or you love to hate them, they’re around and they’re not going anywhere. We talk about movies, TV shows, character studies, certain episodes–the topic is endless. If you are interested in guest posting, contact either Tim or myself and we will hook you up with the deets! There’s a link in “My Links” or you can click HERE.

What are some of your favorite things this Spring?

You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown: A Review

Last Friday I went to a university production of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, expecting a great performance. I had never seen the musical before, but my dad played Snoopy in his hay day which is super embarrassing but I figured that I would be in for a good show. I guess I forgot that I’m in Canada and people are bad at everything here.

I don’t know a lot about the performing arts, but I know when a show is bad and when a show is good. I know what over acting looks like and I know how to spot lazy props and backdrops. College students should be at the point where they don’t come off as annoying or pretentious thespians on stage. They need to be able to morph into a character. If you cannot do this simple task by the time you’re graduating college, there’s really no hope for you. Sorry, but it’s true. I’m not saying that I know everything about acting, but yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

From the minute that I heard the actors fake voices, I knew it was going to be a long show. It just seemed so forced. The girl who played Charlie Brown’s sister, Sally, put on a voice that made me cringe. It wasn’t charming or funny at all. If I were her, I would’ve studied the old TV specials and mimicked the voices that they used. If that’s what this actress was trying to do, she failed miserably. She put on this high pitched, pinched nose voice which didn’t resemble that Sally that I know whatsoever. So congrats on being a terrible actress. She did have a good singing voice though. That was her redeeming factor.

Note to the costume designer: Sally does not have a full head of curly hair. She has poofy bangs and wears light blue, not bright pink. Good job on messing that up and distracting me. You’re fired.

The girl who played Lucy was a much better actress than anyone else there. That being said, her part didn’t require much. She also put on a weird voice, but not as awful as Sally’s. I don’t know if they had a meeting where they tried to teach the girls how to enunciate and taught them to get the audience’s attention by putting on crazy voices, but that’s what it seemed like. I could imagine them having a voice coach saying, “Very good, but try to be more annoying if possible.”

I’m going to include one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies because that’s what I’d like to think their voice coaching would be like. Bursting into choreographed dancing and everything.

The guy who played Schroeder was really good. He had good comedic timing. However, he wasn’t a big character and he didn’t have a lot to do. At least his outfit was identical to his character’s and his voice was normal. Snaps for Schroeder.

Peppermint Patty was fine. She was barely in the show at all. Why include her and not Marcie? It would’ve been cute to see Marcie and Patty’s young lesbo relationship. I do like the fact that Patty calls Charlie Brown “Chuck”. I just wanted Marcie to be around to address Patty as “Sir”.

Linus and Charlie Brown were below par. First of all, the guy playing Linus was chunky. Like, chunky in a way that you couldn’t look past it or focus on his character. Linus shouldn’t be chunky. He’s like 7 years old. In the show they said that they were 5 years old but I don’t believe that because they were writing book reports and no 5 year old can write their own name, let alone a book report.

Charlie Brown was okay but his vocals weren’t that good. He could’ve been stronger on that department. Other than that, he played Charlie Brown pretty well. He seemed terminally depressed, so he was either really into his character, or actually severely depressed.

Snoopy was probably the best part of the show. I guess they have to save their best actor for Snoopy because he has the best songs and has to balance on top of a dog house most of the time. Snoopy was definitely entertaining so I would give him two thumbs up…or two paws up! I don’t know…I hate myself.

The set design was actually pretty good. All the props looked exactly how they appeared on the show so I was happy that they got at least one thing right.

I guess I’m just used to living in the states where we spend lots of money on theater departments. Like, no joke my high school performances were better than this university production. Talent wise, costume wise, production quality and value wise. Whenever I say anything like this, my husband likes to point out that maybe that’s why the US has no money–because we spend it on dumb things. And maybe he’s right. But at least we have high quality entertainment.

 

The Freakin’ Weekend

When I see someone that I know downtown:

If one of us suggests going for Chinese buffet:

When I meet new people and they find out that I don’t have a job and they ask what I do all day:

Anytime that someone suggests doing something that sounds lame and says, “It’ll be fun!”:

If we go to a party:

If I see people from my volunteer job outside of work:

If we go out for brunch and I order a plate of fruit:

When someone arrives to a party and they bring booze:

When Paul asks me if I ate all the chips:

When I make a weekend to-do list:

If I go shopping, find a cute outfit, and someone tells me to have a nice day:

After we realize that we’ve been playing a Facebook game all day:

March Madness

I know I’m kind of late on the uptake, but I thought I would share my tips and tricks on choosing teams for March Madness brackets. Keep in mind that I’ve never made a bracket before because it’s not fair for me to use my all-knowing powers to take people’s money. But I do enjoy saying the word bracket.

And let me just point out that I love the alliteration that March Madness forces on everyone.

If you’re having trouble choosing between two schools and can’t tell who’ll win, first study the team. And by team, I mean the uniforms. If one of the teams has awful uniforms and the other has a nice color combo, unique lettering, or cute warm-ups, then you know you have a winning team. Like, isn’t it obvious that Colorado State would win with their emerald green uniforms over Missouri’s weird yellow ones? Duh.

If the team uniforms are equally classy or equally awful, judge the mascots. A mascot can really define a team. For example, in the Oregon vs. Saint Louis game on Sunday, you know that Saint Louis will lose terribly because their mascot is a Billiken. It’s like, really? You are going to be a losing team with a stupid mascot like that. Why would you even be a university with a Billiken representing you? I’m assuming none of you know what a Billiken is, which is good. I’m going keep you in the dark with this one because your life will be way better without knowing. So mark my words, Oregon will win. (And if they don’t, that Billiken is obviously some kind of devil charm.)

I can’t even explain the nightmares I’m going to have.

If you still can’t make up your mind, you’re clearly really indecisive and shouldn’t be betting your money. Another way you can tell which team will be victorious is by judging the school/city/state. For example, in the New Mexico vs. Harvard game, I think it was pretty obvious that Haaavard was going to win. Who even lives in New Mexico? Bad basketball players, that’s who.

Lastly, if all else fails, go with your gut. Sometimes dumb luck works. But don’t blame me when you’re out $200 because you bet on Minnesota instead of UCLA.

A Day Out On The Town

I did something today that I haven’t done for a long time. I went shopping. I used to go every day, and now I go every other day. Just kidding. I actually hadn’t been for a while because I’m in this weird stage in my life where I try not to spend money. I know, gross.

When I was an avid shopper, it was easy to stay in my own little world and just focus on the clothes and myself. I was a little rusty today and kept observing other people and the ridiculous things that were being said by common folk.

The following are real quotes said by real people and my responses (if I actually had the guts to say them out loud) along with some of my inner thoughts and struggles.

At H&M

Girl shopping with her grandma: I like these dresses.

Grandma: Yes. Dresses are in this year.

Me: You know what else is in this year? Pants. And shirts. And clothes in general.

At Joe Fresh (I know, wtf?)

Employee: How are you doing today?

Me: Fine thanks. How are you?

Employee: I’m good, thanks! It’s kind of cold in here.

Me: Yeah you should probably quit.

At Forever 21

Me: Ughhh.

Me: This would be too small on me.

Me: This would be too short on me.

Me: This is too pink.

Me: This is…wait what is this?

At H&M

Mom with her daughter: Hey this would be cute! [holds up a sparkly black mini skirt]

Daughter: UGH not for festivals!

Me: Um you should listen to your mom, she knows what she’s talking about and could really fix your whole look. If you consider what you’re wearing “a look”.

At Forever 21

Me: I need these shoes.

Me: No.

Me: Yes I do.

Me: You need food, water and shelter.

Me: And these shoes.

Me: Then you have to throw out a pair at home to balance your life.

Me: When did I make that rule?

Me: Yeah wtf that rule sucks.

Me: Unlimited amount of shoes, right?

Me: Right.

Me: But then if I buy these I’ll have to wait in line and talk to someone.

Me: Unnecessary purchase.

At Joe Fresh

Me: Hi, do you have these in a darker denim?

Employee: Hmm no, I don’t think so. But we have them in red!

Me: Oh, okay. That’s the same.