The thing that makes me giggle is that David Gray’s soft-spoken lyrics and smooth guitar melodies have been used to such torture. Take a moment and picture an inmate at Guantanamo crying, in pain from David Gray’s voice. Torture is not funny, but this image for some reason makes me laugh because it’s so ridiculous.

The idea that his music could be seen as torturous to people pushed David Gray to address the media saying that “It doesn’t matter what the music is–it could be Tchaikovsky’s or it could be Barney the Dinosaur.” Meaning that, if any type of music is loud enough and played over and over, it will be painful. But they didn’t pick Tchaikovsky or Barney, Mr. Gray, they picked your mellow voice.

One night at dinner, ‘Babylon’ came on and I mentioned the whole debacle to my dad and brother and husband (who already knew about it). We all had a bit of a laugh thinking about the torture music we were listening to and my husband, Paul, defended Gray’s honor by noting that his album, White Ladder was featured in Rolling Stones’ Top 1,000 Albums of All Time.

My brother then responded, “Yeah it’s in my Top 1,000 Albums too because I can’t even think of 1,000 albums.”

I don’t know why, but I found this super hilarious and almost died laughing.

Do you like David Gray’s music or is it like torture to you?

Olivia Palermo gained social status by starring in the reality TV series The City alongside young fashion hopeful Whitney Port. Whitney was originally on The Hills as a friend of Lauren Conrad, but moved on to bigger and better things. Olivia was kind of like Whitney’s frienemy and showed her the ropes of the fashion world in NYC but still making sure that Whitney was somewhat beneath her. I never said my girl crush was nice, okay?

Since then, every time I see a picture of this girl, she looks perfect. She knows style. Every look she wears seems effortlessly chic, like putting outfits together is second nature and money grows on trees. The girl can dress, is what I’m trying to say. I have a feeling that Kate Middleton wants to be Olivia Palermo, but is too restricted by modest royal garb and cries every night about having to re-use outfits to seem like “the people’s princess.” The people want fashion statements, Kate. If I have to see you in that green jacket one more time I swear…

Anyway, Olivia has done a couple note-worthy things with her time besides walking around the streets of New York hoping that someone takes her picture, but I don’t feel like looking up the details on Wikipedia. I think she got signed to Wilhelmina modeling agency but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t model any more.

When I was thumbing through one of my mags recently, I saw her in an ad accompanied with Masai tribesmen in traditional dress, all looking super chic. Basically, this Spanish footwear brand, Pikolinos (a non profit company), are sending their leather and beads to the Masai people to help better their lives and sustain the development of their endangered tribe. In turn, these Kenyan women are producing beautiful, handmade designs and earning money for their children’s schooling, livestock, clothes, etc.

So that’s cool right? Olivia is the ambassador for the charity project so that basically means she gets a free trip to Kenya to oversee the project and gets to model the footwear. Fair.

Who’s your girl crush at the moment?

An off-putting factor of this film is that it’s 2 hours and 20 minutes. However, I figured that I’ve spent 3 hours watching a young Leo race around the Titanic, so why couldn’t I endure this?

Instead of reviewing this flick, I’m just going to touch on some points of interest. Because now we all know that I’m the worst at reviewing movies.

Carey Mulligan as Daisy Buchanan is not what I expected. 

I was ready for a droopy Daisy snore fest but instead I received magical Daisy chain of wonder. Lol what is that sentence? In the 1974 version of The GG, Mia Farrow played a selfish Daisy. And a very sweaty one. Is it just me, or was everyone in that movie dripping? However, in the 2013 version, Carey Mulligan plays the Daisy that everyone wants to be. She’s a relatively happy character even though her life is in shambs (shambles). It was a different take on Daisy, but I dug it. I also totally dug that Ms. Mulligan beat out a bunch of other actresses for the role including the one that shall not be named (Blake Lively). I don’t acknowledge her existence after she married my other husband Ryan Reynolds.

The trailers were misleading.

Didn’t the previews make this movie seem like an post-modern celebration filled with Jay-Z music and obnoxious flappers? Yes, it did. It was actually much calmer than I was expecting. Which is good. I really really really loved how Baz “Why is your name Baz” Luhrmann depicted the preppiness of East Egg and the new money castles of West Egg. My favorite scenes were when the audience first met Daisy in an ethereal tangle of sheer curtains and when Nick, Gatsby, and Daisy spent the day together, gallivanting around Gatsby’s property to the musical accompaniment of Lana del Rey. Perfection.

The minor characters were just as good as the main characters.

Elizabeth Debicki as Jordan Baker

I feel like some casting directors get ballsy when it comes to choosing smaller characters by selecting wild cards (Isla Fisher plays Mrytle Wilson, wife of the mechanic) or take chances on nobodies (Elizabeth Debicki as Jordan Baker, a top female golfer/best friend of Daisy). That being said, everyone really proved their worth, especially Joel Edgerton (who played Tom Buchanan, Daisy’s super rich husband) and Jason Clarke (as George Wilson, the mechanic stationed between East Egg and NYC).

The costume choices were superb.

I couldn’t really think of a last point besides the fact that Leo was awesome, so I guess I’ll just touch on the wardrobe. There wasn’t a stand out outfit that really made me drool like Keira Knightley’s green dress in Atonement, but there were some great looks. I appreciated all of Gatsby’s outfits, especially his pink linen suit that he saved for hot summer days. I thought Daisy’s dresses were lovely, but for some reason I liked her best in the black silk robe that she wore around Gatsby’s mansion.

Have you seen The Great Gatsby yet? What did you think?

I recently picked up the popular semi-real semi-fake memoir, A Million Little Pieces written by James Frey. There was a lot of media commotion attached to this book after Oprah found out that Mr. Frey embellished some parts of his story. I could honestly care less. If a book is good, then it shouldn’t matter what’s real and what’s not. The story is pretty unbelievable so the fact that parts of it are true makes it even better. 

At first I was frustrated by James and his situation. As a reader, the minute James introduces himself you become aware that he’s not in a good place. He’s an addict and he’s used almost everything possible (alcohol, cocaine, heroine, glue, gas, etc.). He eventually ends up in rehab, not willing to listen to anyone trying to help him. He wants to do things his way or the highway. The book shows him grow as a person through his observations and lots of therapy. Mr. Frey’s writing style is short and choppy, unique and easy to follow. If you’re in the mood for a real gritty read, you should probably pick this one up.

After that I grabbed Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson. Besides having the longest title of all time, it proved to be a very interesting read. I actually had a love/hate relationship with this book. Well, not as extreme as love/hate. More like love/meh.

The novel tells two stories, one being how the Chicago World’s Fair exposition came to be, and the other about a serial killer lurking in the area. Hence the title Devil in the White City. Mr. Larson does a fantastic job bringing to life what the architects had to endure to make the fair a success. You learn so much about the city designers, as well as some famous names such as George Ferris (inventor of the Ferris Wheel) and Nikola Tesla (conductor of electricity), and even Buffalo Bill. After a while, I started to get bored from learning all the facts and started to long for the juicy serial killer story line. That part of the book really kept me going  while also amazing me that in the 1890′s you could basically get away with whatever you wanted. Even murder.

Today I finished reading Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I had a couple of people recommend this book to me and I just don’t understand the appeal. The book itself is only 100 pages which seems do-able. But like my friend Carter told me today, they were the longest 100 pages of my life.

The story is narrated by a sailor named Marlow who recounts his trip into the depths of the African jungle down along the Congo. He explains the dreariness of it all and talks about the “horrors of colonialism.” Throughout the book I was looking forward to meeting a character named Kurtz who had made himself somewhat of a legend in the ivory trading business. The natives worship the man and the other sailors are fascinated by him. I wasn’t wowed at all, to be honest. Most of the book was a lot of long thoughts that weren’t of particular interest to me. It was written well, but I just couldn’t get into it. My apologies Mr. Conrad. Actually, no. Mr. Conrad should apologize to me.

It’s kind of great because I can write this post and a lot of you know who I’m talking about. You know my mom’s sweetness, her sense of humor, her comforting words. She’s like the WordPress mom. But she’s my real mom so I win.

I am also writing this because my brother wrote my mom a really nice note and ugh I’m the favorite so I have to secure my spot up at the top. Jk.

But seriously.

My mom has had a rough year. My whole family has. I mean, I could kind of see it coming because, lets be real, 2013 cannot be considered a lucky number for anyone. But she’s strong. Almost too strong. She’s protected my brother and I from sadness when we were little even when she was crying inside. I think that’s the hardest thing a mom can do-smile for her kids when she just wants to curl up in a ball. I can’t imagine doing that. Maybe that’s why I haven’t had kids yet.

She’s always happy and healthy. She sets a great example for my brother and I even though we don’t always follow it. But she let us make our own mistakes, she’s still proud of us when we’re mean or disagreeable. She comforts us when we’re low. She lets us have our freedom.

She has unconditional love and calmed me down whenever I got stressed out. And now I don’t care about anything so I guess that worked!

Out of all the mothers in the world, I have one of the most selfless, brightest stars around. She’s helped me become the sassy, fun-loving person I am today. She’s helped me take chances I wouldn’t have done on my own, and for that I owe her everything.

Thanks for being my support system, my confidant, and my best friend. I love you!

I always knew I would be terrible at golf. Some sports I look at and I’m like, okay I could do that. Like volleyball or tennis–I’m not great, hell, I’m not even good, but I can get away with looking like I know what I’m doing. Kind of. But whenever Paul watches golf, I get confused by so many things:

How do the golfers know where to aim? You can’t even see the flag from the beginning of each hole so like, do the golfer just guess where to swing? Unclear.

Why do there have to be so many different clubs? Can’t there just be one kind that works for every type of swing? Why do I have to learn which iron or wood to use? Why are there numbers involved? 9 irons? Drivers? Putters? How annoying.

Who decided 18 was an appropriate number for holes in a course? Did they realize that it takes hours upon hours to complete a full game? I mean, that’s cool if you like golf a lot, but do you still like it after 4 hours of playing? Probs not.

The one thing that I do approve of are the chic clothes that you get to wear. Lots of argyle and polos and plaids, oh my! So that’s fun.

I’ve only been to the driving range thrice in my life and one of those times was when I was twelve. The other two times were recently when Paul was trying to teach me some golf basics. Needless to say I’m the worst and try to stand far away from anyone else because I’m so embarrassed for myself.

Luckily I have a patient teacher. And I don’t even brag about how much better I am at putting than he is. Much.

I used to do awesome gif posts, but my computer had a bit of a meltdown. It was in a slow decline ever since I moved to Canada (I guess it doesn’t like it here). One day I tried using it and it just wouldn’t work. It said “Operating System not found.” And I was like Awww hell naw. I took it to get fixed and I cost $100 bucks. And then it broke again three days later. So I took it in again and said “You better fix it for free this time.” So hardcore.

Actually it was more like, “Umm can you maybe fix this for no charge if you have time?”

I hate myself.

I think the second time it broke was really my own fault though because I tried opening World of Warcraft on it and my computer was like, REALLY?! and just went to a black screen. So I’ve been using my husband’s new computer. He’s so sweet for letting me use his. It’s hard though because I don’t have my itunes on his laptop (and I really want to download Sleigh Bells’ album!!!) and all of my gifs that I wanted to use were on my old computer. But apparently it’s fixed now so whatever.

Speaking of Sleigh Bells, have you seen the trailer for Sofia Coppola’s new movie based on the Hollywood Hills Burglaries/Alexis Neiers/Pretty Wild? I’m pretty psyched for it since Emma Watson has clearly found her calling and looks hot in a movie for once in her life. (The song at the end of the trailer is Crown on the Ground by Sleigh Bells)

I hate asking this question because I asked it in a status on facebook (Ugh I know) and it turned into a PC vs. Mac battle extraordinaire. If you had to buy a new computer, which brand would you go for? And if you say HP or a brand I’ve never heard of, you’re not invited on my blog anymore. Actually, please say Sony Vaio because my last two computers were Sonys and I feel the most comfortable with them.

Also, I’m almost done with another book so I’m one step closer to writing a Lily’s Literature post! I really like writing those for some reason. I feel I do an okay job of reviewing books. Reviewing movies on the other hand….well, just read my last post. It’s not so much of a review as it is a play-by-play of the entire movie. So yeah, I’m really good at those.

Does anyone have any good weight loss tips? And I don’t mean exercise and eat healthy. I mean lose 20 pounds in a week tips. If so, make sure you tell me in the comments.

So what’s new with you? 

*There will be spoilers in this review*

The Place Beyond the Pines was pretty good. (Reviews are obviously my forte.) I was entertained through most of the film but I did find it a bit too long–it was 2 hours and 20 minutes! The opening credits made me think that I signed up for Drive Part 2. What is with Ryan Gosling playing the solemn tough guy roles? Like, okay we get it. But it turned out being okay because he died half way into it. Byeeeee.

I started typing out a synopsis, but the story is actually pretty long and complex so I’m not going to do that. I’m just going to review it as best as I can without confusing everyone.

Gosling played a character named Luke who was torn between being a good father and making good life choices. He thought the only way he could be a good father was if he provided for his son in a way that the child’s mother, Romina (Eva Mendes) and her new boyfriend could not. Luke started robbing banks with his new friend who fixed up cars. They were pretty successful and obtained a lot of money. Everyone was happy and life was good. It was basically like The Town except no Boston accents and no scary nun masks.

Okay so that still ended up being a synopsis. WHATEVER. I thought the first half was pretty entertaining but not totally realistic. It’s fun to watch bank robberies, but how often do people try to rob banks these days? Eva Mendes did a good job of acting poor and sad. I thought it was good casting for her.

Ew

Eventually Luke gets greedy and wants to pull off two bank robberies in one day. His friend warns him not to, things go awry, and Luke ends up dead. A young officer named Avery (Bradley Cooper) ends up shooting Luke and earning some kind of police metal of honor.

This part of the movie was slightly boring. They depicted a lot of corruption within the police world–Ray Liotta portrayed one of the dishonest police men who was in the movie for like, 10 minutes. What happened to him? He was so perfect in Goodfellas and now he gets minor, stupid roles that should have been cut out of the film all together? Lame.

As the movie progresses, they show Luke’s son fifteen years later in school with Avery’s son. It’s interesting because one assumes that Avery’s son, AJ, should have turned out as a good, solid kid. And one would’ve assumed that Jason, Luke’s son, would’ve turned out for the worst-addicted to drugs, brought up on the wrong side of the tracks kind of stuff. But their characters are totally different to what you expect. Which is one thing that I really appreciated. Even though Jason’s family didn’t have as much as AJ’s family did, they managed to provide him with morals and love, where it seems that AJ got nothing. Also, I’m pretty sure AJ is should be cast on the next season of Jersey Shore.

Jason and AJ.

The best part about this half of the film was how old they made Eva Mendes look. She looked roughhhh. But in a good, believable way. They didn’t age Bradley Cooper as much as they made him look young in the first half. I actually thought this was a pretty boring role for him compared to his part in Silver Linings Playbook. But what do I know? Everything.

Overall, I thought the movie was entertaining and an interesting story. I wasn’t expecting much, so I was pleasantly surprised with most of it. I thought they could have trimmed a lot of extra scenes because I found it to drag on in some areas.

What did you think of this movie? If you haven’t seen it, does it sound like something you would like to watch (now that I’ve ruined the entire film)?

I’m not a true blue Mad Men fan. I often get bored with the show and find it to be pretentious at times. That being said, the show is able to redeem itself quite often in my book. For example, I really liked the first season but then I hated seasons 2-4. But then I really liked season 5. Why do things have to be so complicated?

Let me just make it clear that there will be spoilers if you haven’t watched the first two episodes yet. Someone yelled at me once via comment for spoiling a show for him. But the show had been over and done with for a while so it was really his own fault for being too slow to watch it.

There are things that I’m pleased with so far in season 6 and there are aspects of it that make me mad. One thing I am elated with is that Don Draper is back to his old self. He’s quiet, cheating on his new ugly French buck-toothed wife, being snappy at the office, and a smooth talker with the ladies. That is the Don I know and love from the earlier seasons. Last season he was so jovial and smiling all the time–it made me sick. He even took his new wife to a Howard Johnson and bought her ice cream. Old Don wouldn’t be caught dead doing that.

Peggy is literally a new character each season. I remember clearly at the start of season 2 thinking, what happened to Peggy? I guess the writers try to develop her into this successful girl of the world but it just seems so unlikely. I’ve never even seen Peggy come up with a good idea so how has she climbed so high so quickly? I wish they would kill her off like Lane.

At first she was a lowly, self conscious secretary.

Then she started to let loose.

And tried way too hard to act cool.

She rose higher in the workplace.

And now she’s a 60′s Barbie doll apparently.

Betty is still overweight, which is good. I thought they were going to return to this season with a new svelte Betty which would’ve bugged me. Also, no one cares about Betty now because she’s married to some old guy that no one cares about. However, I do care deeply about Sally. She is a precious gem in a show filled with rhinestones. I like that the writers make Sally’s rage at her mother visible. Betty is kind of the worst mom evs. And this season they had her acting all concerned for Sally’s friend who ran away to live in the city. Like, who cares? Betty wouldn’t care if Sally ran away so why does she care about this random girl? Such unnecessary filler.

Roger Sterling is still funny and charming and does absolutely nothing around the office. They managed to keep his character pretty true to the first seasons. Every show needs a silver fox and Roger is our man.

The first episode was kind of dumb and too long. However, the second episode was great because it focused on Don cheating on his wife and Pete Campbell cheating on his. It was an interesting episode because it showed how suave Don can be when wooing a woman (Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks will make do in this case I guess?) and how utterly messed up things can get. With Pete Campbell demonstrating the latter. A great scene was when Pete’s wife Trudy found out about his misbehavior and laid down some ground rules. And this is big coming from the timid housewife Trudy.

So overall, I would say this season is shaping up to be alright. What I’m looking forward to is a massive Don and Megan blow out fight, possibly a Pete Campbell divorce, and lots of Sally sprinkled in between everything.

I was eating the Girl Guide cookies that my husband bought us me and thinking about writing a piece about this heinous topic. But then I thought that I wouldn’t have enough to write about. BUT THENNN I remembered that I’m nothing short of genius and can write about even the most trivial of subjects.

Shouldn’t these gals, sorry guides, be selling their cookies in the fall? Isn’t that when kids sell their cookies? I might be wrong but I thought that Girl Scout time coincided with the start of the school year. I mean, I was only in Brownies (for maybe a year?) but I don’t remember selling cookies in the Spring. Or ever.

Perhaps the most shameful thing about Girl Guide cookies is that they only have two different flavors. Like, we have 11 flavors in the good old US of A. Some people would argue that’s because we’re fatties. Which is true. Other people might point out that our country spends too much money on stupid things. Also true. But they’re probably just jealous because we have spending money from our good friend China.

At least in the states we give our Girl Scout cookies charming names like Do-si-dos (a cute nod to the square-dancing patch), Caramel deLites, Savannah Smiles, etc. Still living the American Dream obviously. The Girl Guide cookies don’t have names and are described as “chocolate cookies and vanilla creme cookies.” Ummmm wait what? Do you have no pride?

Girl Guides even have a similar cookie to the Thin Mint. Their version is called “chocolatey mint cookie” and I really wish I was joking, but I’m afraid thems the facts.

Can we just have a moment of silence for Canada’s Girl Guides and their lack of cookie names and flavors? Don’t get me wrong though, I will still eat any cookies that anyone buys for me.