Clothes, TV

Red, White, and Blue Oscar Apparel

It’s a challenge for me to watch one of my country’s favorite pastimes from a lesser, more embarrassing location. And the pastime I’m referring to is the judgement of people who’ve achieved thespian greatness. Attacking people from the privacy of your own home is the true winter sport. Sorry Sochi winners. Combine it with live tweeting and I’d consider you an athlete.

I couldn’t help noticing that my country was calling out to me through Oscar ensembles. So much red, white, and blue! Granted, they could have been calling out to people from France, The United Kingdom, Russia, Norway, Australia, Cambodia, Chile, Costa Rica, Cuba, Czech Republic, Iceland, Laos, etc, etc, etc. But I just have a strong feeling that they were trying to signal me.

Jennifer Lawrence really stepped out of her comfort zone by choosing another Dior gown to sport at the Oscars. This one was pleasant, but doesn’t hold a flame to her dress last year. However, she did manage to trip in both of them. Is it just me, or are her falls a cry for even more attention? In some light this dress looked orange-y.

Pink’s ruby slipper dress was so unexpected and glorious. I think everyone was assuming she would enter swinging from the chandeliers, wearing a leotard, but she classed it up big time. Also, who knew she could sing like that?pink-oscars-1

Jared Leto is sporting a cute little crimson bow tie with his white tuxedo jacket. I was unsure about this combination, but I realized that if he chose to wear something normal, it would feel seriously wrong. Paired with his ombre beach waves, Jared managed to glam it up without being too strange.oscars_2014_jaredleto_650_15_1

Matthew McConaughney also decided to wear a white jacket on the red carpet which made him resemble a cute little busboy. I feel like Matthew and Jared made a pact to both wear white, hoping to please the Oscar gods. Luckily for them, it worked.movies-oscars-2014-matthew-mcconaughey-trophy

Kate Hudson really stole the show in her Atelier Versace gown. Like, stop. This dress is gorge. I mean, she hasn’t even done anything worth mentioning in the past 5-10 years but the girl knows how to dress.rs_634x1024-140302165209-634.kate-hudson-oscars-030214

I have to give some honorable mentions to Naomi Watts and Maria Menounos. They both wore chic white gowns that didn’t ask for too much attention, but were simply beautiful. Also, Maria Menounos shouldn’t even be there, but props on the dress.Naomi-Watts-Oscars-2014 oscars-2014-maria-menounos-red-carpet__oPt

Lupita Nyong’o’s ice blue ethereal number really did it for me. It’s possible that she won an award for that dress alone. She also had such a beautiful and eloquent acceptance speech–I’m certain she was inspired by her frock. Lupita is most definitely America/Kenya’s sweetheart.da78d970-a285-11e3-b834-ef0e1167164d_Lupita-Nyongo-back-dress-oscars

Jason Sudeikis wore a blue tux on this big day, which I applaud because I’m a fan of navy. However, I unapplaud because of the black bow tie. I just have trouble with navy and black mixing. Sorry, I’m not sorry.1393805319_476193135_olivia-wilde-jason-sudeikis-467

Sandra Bullock’s Alexander McQueen dress looked terrible during the televised interview I tuned into. However, the photos online make it look pretty damn good. I also thought her hair was delightful.Sandra-Bullock-Oscars-2014

I have to applaud Amy Adams’ dress solely for the fact that didn’t show her side boob. Congrats on figuring out how to flatter your body, Amy. x700

I think my favorite dresses of the night were Charlize Theron’s, Kate Hudson’s, and Lupita Nyong’o’s. Did you watch the Academy Awards? Which outfits did you like?

Standard
Feelings, Judging, TV

Bronies

A month or so ago my husband asked me if I knew what bronies were. I had no idea. He explained to me that bronies are guys who admittedly enjoy My Little Ponies. I know I’m gullible, but I was not about to be fooled by that obvious BS. “Look it up if you don’t believe me” he said. So I did. And he was right.

It’s laughable at first, and then when you give the idea more thought, it’s perplexing. What makes teenage boys and even grown men interested in a franchise that, for so many years, was aimed toward young girls? I’m pretty sure it comes down to entertainment value.

I was surprised to find out that these bronies were entranced by not only the toys, but also the show. The show My Little Pony didn’t amount to much when I was a young lass in the late 80′s and 90′s. Of course I had the toys, but the show came and went. Currently, My Little Pony is in it’s 4th generation reboot, which clearly illustrates character development, relatable story lines, and humor. An all around enjoyable show compared to earlier, weaker versions.My-Little-Pony-my-little-pony-256752_1280_1024

I understand being trapped in an adult body and taking pleasure in shows, movies, and even toys that are meant for children. (That’s why I’m such a great babysitter.)  In a youtube documentary about bronies, they quote Walt Disney who said, “You’re dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway.” I find this to be extremely true. There is a reason why Disney movies have so much success with all generations and genders. Everyone can enjoy them–they don’t single out a certain audience.

As I child I relished in entertainment and toys. I played every game, watched every show available to my eyes, and played with both my brother’s toys and my own. As we got older, my brother was interested in Pokemon, so I began to take an interest as well. I remember being twelve years old and thinking, “Okay I’m too old for this.” But I couldn’t help loving it. I get the same shameful feeling when I take a video games just as seriously now as I did when I was ten years old. It’s okay to stay youthful in the most innocent ways possible. I feel for these bronies.my little pony games

During this day and age, the blue and pink lines that define “boy stuff” and “girl stuff” have been blurred slightly but not completely. I think mothers have taken notice of their children’s preferences and catered to them more, which is great to witness. I love seeing little boys with their toenails painted just like their sister’s. Colorful toes are attractive to all eyes, so why can’t colorful ponies be attractive to both genders?

It makes sense to me. Do you think it’s odd that My Little Pony has a broad fan base?

Standard
Beauty, TV

Girl Crush of the Week: Dalia Royce

What can I possibly say about Dalia Royce? She’s everything that I aspire to be in life. I came across this character whilst watching my Wednesday night line up (The Middle, Modern Family, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about). When the network premiered the show Suburgatory I decided to give it a try. The show itself isn’t that great, but there are a couple minor characters that keep me coming back for more. Enter Dalia Royce.dalia

She’s perfect in so many ways. Dalia basically doesn’t care about anything and goes about communicating with people in the driest possible way. I wouldn’t describe her as a deep person, per se, but she does have emotions and struggles. I mean, she doesn’t have monetary struggles, but her parents got divorced and one time she had to transfer to a different school and live out of her mom’s car. It was pretty tragic. Despite what people think, she’s definitely had some trials and tribulations.

Dalia’s mother, Dallas Royce (played by Cheryl Hines) wants the best for Dalia but is usually torn between being a responsible parent and bending over backwards for her daughter. In one episode, Dalia gets a kangaroo for a gift simply because she wants one. When Dallas starts dating Dalia’s school enemy’s father, she becomes attached and begins to favor him over most people. She even starts to call him “Daddy Altman.” 

The reason that Dalia is my crush is because she’s a strong woman who doesn’t take no for an answer. If she wants a kangaroo, she will find a way to get one. She is so honest to the point where people start to question what’s wrong with her. And she also has the fliest wardrobe that I’ve seen in a long time.

Standard
Beauty, TV

Girl Crush of the Week: Ja’mie King

I seemed to overlook Ja’mie in past GCOTW posts. This could possibly be due to the fact that she’s my girl crush of my life forever and ever, so clearly limiting her to the title of a weekly crush is very wrong. But I’m doing it anyway because it’s my blog and I do what I want. Also, I had trouble concentrating because my friend Tracie keeps begging to be my girl crush. She’s been taking really provocative facebook photos in hopes of impressing me, but I’m not going to give into her games. You can’t just ask to be honored on my blog. What a freak.

How do I explain Ja’mie King? Well, she’s a private school girl who tries extremely hard to be the best at everything. She takes high school extremely seriously and is constantly looking for ways to make herself stand out from her fellow pupils. She’s sponsored around 85 African children in her lifetime, does many extra curricular activities, and tries to look out for her fellow classmates. Oh, by the way, Ja’mie is a character from Chris Lilley’s Australian TV shows We Can Be Heroes and Summer Heights High. Mr. Lilley thought up Ja’mie as well as many other characters featured in the shows that I mentioned above.  He also made a series called Angry Boys which covers an all-male cast of characters.

CC_Summer-Heights-High_Ja-mie

I’m also in love with Chris Lilley mainly because if we got married, my name would be Lily Lilley. So there’s that too.

The reason why Ja’mie is the perfect pick for this week is because news has recently surfaced of a new Chris Lilley production that only focuses on Ja’mie King called Ja’mie: Private School Girl. You could say that I’m pretty excited. Let me introduce to you a gal who needs no introduction:

I think the reason that I love Ja’mie is because she’s not afraid to be herself and offend people. She’s confident, bossy, funny, and gets what she wants. I think more girls should have the chutzpah that Ja’mie has. If you’re someone who gets the impression that Ja’mie is a bitch, it’s probably because you’re just jealous.

Don’t get me wrong, there are sides to Ja’mie that aren’t attractive. She’s abusive to her mother, she often uses fund raisers to raise money for her own interests, and she can be outwardly mean to people she calls her friends. That being said, I think she’s a very real and amazing character that has a lot of growing up to do even though she’s practically perfect already.

Standard
TV

Arrested Development Season 4

I’m the first to admit that I didn’t watch Arrested Development when the show was on air. As much as I’d like to say that I discovered it, I didn’t. I remember my friend introducing it to me in 2007, the summer I came home from my first year of college. We went on a road trip with two of our other friends to Sanibel Island and giggled about the running jokes throughout the trip.

Since then, I’ve watched seasons 1-3 two more times and fallen in love with different characters, catching references that I missed the first time, and studying the character development. As the years passed, everyone jumped onto the Arrested Development bandwagon. It used to be rare to find someone that had heard of the show, never mind liked it. Now, six years later, Arrested Development has developed itself into a cult classic but in a less cult-y way and in a more everyone-and-their-mom-has-seen-it kind of way.header-arrested-development-season-4-first-full-trailer

So the long awaited Arrested Development Season 4 was released on Netflix–15 fresh new episodes for us fans (everyone in the world?) to fawn over. I hate to say that I was disappointed. Here are a couple of things I hated about the new season (SPOILERS AHEAD):

Too Much Ron Howard

In the previous seasons Ron Howard lent his voice and narrating abilities to the show. It worked well–filled in the gaps for the audience, and even added to a lot of the jokes. This time around I felt like it was The Ron Howard Show. His narration was wayyy too strong. I would say that he had the most lines out of any character, and he, of course, appeared in this season as well, playing himself. Like, okay we get it, you produced the show. I also feel like his part in this season was so thrown together and unnecessary. In fact the whole Bluth movie story line seemed forced and dumb. Especially since nothing came of it.

Confusing Story Line

Maybe it was just me, but I was constantly trying to keep everything straight with these episodes. It felt like the writers were trying to jam in so many different views and new characters and old characters that it didn’t really seem cohesive. The time frame was also confusing for me because in one scene it would be “6 months earlier” and then the next minute it would be “a year later” and then they would show a clip from last season. Like, am I taking crazy pills? I feel like they could have simplified things and it would’ve given them more room for conversational jokes rather than depending on comical situations.Arrested-Development-Season-4

Michael Is a Completely Different Character

Umm is it just me or did Michael morph into a totally different person? Wasn’t he the only sane, sarcastic one out of his entire family in seasons 1-3? This time around he seemed immature, desperate, and frankly, stupid. I’ll admit that the part where he lived with George Michael in his college dorm was pretty funny, and probably one of my favorite parts, but it didn’t seem like a choice that the Michael Bluth from seasons past would’ve made. I didn’t like how George Michael was suddenly more confident and self-assured than his father, so much so that he punched him in the face and I felt like Michael deserved it. Which brings me to my last point.

Disappointing Ending

I thought more of the story was going to be wrapped up in the last episode. I felt like most pieces of the season were there for absolutely no reason (ex. building the wall on the border of Mexico, the sweat lodges, the Bluth movie, Gob and Tony Wonder, Lindsay taking over for Herbert Love, Lucille Austero’s 700,000, Lucille in prison etc.) because nothing came from them at the end. It just seemed like the story could have been more succinct. Compared to previous seasons, it felt too busy and messy with no direction.

What did you think of Season 4?

 

Standard
TV

Thoughts on Mad Men Season 6

Okay so only two episodes have aired from the newest season of Mad Men but my mom suggested that I review it and I never turn down a suggestion. Unless it’s a bad suggestion.

I’m not a true blue Mad Men fan. I often get bored with the show and find it to be pretentious at times. That being said, the show is able to redeem itself quite often in my book. For example, I really liked the first season but then I hated seasons 2-4. But then I really liked season 5. Why do things have to be so complicated?mad-men-returns-on-april-7-the-first-of-only-26-episodes-left-in-the-critically-acclaimed-series

Let me just make it clear that there will be spoilers if you haven’t watched the first two episodes yet. Someone yelled at me once via comment for spoiling a show for him. But the show had been over and done with for a while so it was really his own fault for being too slow to watch it.

There are things that I’m pleased with so far in season 6 and there are aspects of it that make me mad. One thing I am elated with is that Don Draper is back to his old self. He’s quiet, cheating on his new ugly French buck-toothed wife, being snappy at the office, and a smooth talker with the ladies. That is the Don I know and love from the earlier seasons. Last season he was so jovial and smiling all the time–it made me sick. He even took his new wife to a Howard Johnson and bought her ice cream. Old Don wouldn’t be caught dead doing that.

Peggy is literally a new character each season. I remember clearly at the start of season 2 thinking, what happened to Peggy? I guess the writers try to develop her into this successful girl of the world but it just seems so unlikely. I’ve never even seen Peggy come up with a good idea so how has she climbed so high so quickly? I wish they would kill her off like Lane.

At first she was a lowly, self conscious secretary.

At first she was a lowly, self conscious secretary.

Then she started to let loose.

Then she started to let loose.

And tried way too hard to act cool.

And tried way too hard to act cool.

She rose higher in the workplace.

She rose higher in the workplace.

And now she's a 60's Barbie doll apparently.

And now she’s a 60′s Barbie doll apparently.

Betty is still overweight, which is good. I thought they were going to return to this season with a new svelte Betty which would’ve bugged me. Also, no one cares about Betty now because she’s married to some old guy that no one cares about. However, I do care deeply about Sally. She is a precious gem in a show filled with rhinestones. I like that the writers make Sally’s rage at her mother visible. Betty is kind of the worst mom evs. And this season they had her acting all concerned for Sally’s friend who ran away to live in the city. Like, who cares? Betty wouldn’t care if Sally ran away so why does she care about this random girl? Such unnecessary filler.

Roger Sterling is still funny and charming and does absolutely nothing around the office. They managed to keep his character pretty true to the first seasons. Every show needs a silver fox and Roger is our man.

The first episode was kind of dumb and too long. However, the second episode was great because it focused on Don cheating on his wife and Pete Campbell cheating on his. It was an interesting episode because it showed how suave Don can be when wooing a woman (Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks will make do in this case I guess?) and how utterly messed up things can get. With Pete Campbell demonstrating the latter. A great scene was when Pete’s wife Trudy found out about his misbehavior and laid down some ground rules. And this is big coming from the timid housewife Trudy.tumblr_mla4xjac571qcnueyo1_500tumblr_mla4xjac571qcnueyo2_500tumblr_mla4xjac571qcnueyo3_500

So overall, I would say this season is shaping up to be alright. What I’m looking forward to is a massive Don and Megan blow out fight, possibly a Pete Campbell divorce, and lots of Sally sprinkled in between everything.

Standard
TV

Modern-er Family

I was watching my Wednesday night line-up last night and I kind of got fed up with Modern Family. It’s almost too modern that it doesn’t even make sense. Well, I guess it makes sense but it just bothers me. Like, no family is that mixed and multicultural and skinny. Here are some things that I would change about the show to make it more realistic and a better watch overall.

First and foremost I think Claire, the mom, should die of anorexia. They always make comments about how she likes to workout or about how skinny she is. The plot twist is already halfway there. Maybe she had a case of exercise bulimia, couldn’t stop working out after each meal, and just slowly ended her life. Now the kids have to depend on their single parent, Phil, for everything. Phil, instead of being his funny, happy self, spirals into a deep depression and doesn’t come out of his room except to eat. He loses his job and the 4 of them have to move into a 2 bedroom apartment. Modernity at it’s finest.modern_family_serie_background-1920x1200

Cam and Mitch decide that it’s time to get married. They travel to Massachusetts, tie the knot, and eventually travel down to DC to become gay rights activists. They lead marches and protests and eventually put their daughter’s happiness on the back burner. Lily, being the annoying child that she is, goes across the street to the picketers from the Westboro Baptist church. She rebels against her parents and finds a place in the Westboro community. And she gets to make really colorful signs which no kindergartner can resist.

Now that Claire is out of the picture, Phil is finally able to make a move on Gloria. Gloria welcomes the change–she almost forgot what it was like to be with a semi-youthful man. Jay finds out and gets Gloria and Manny deported–sent back to Columbia. Manny becomes a drug lord and eventually pimps out his mother. He makes millions. Since Jay and Gloria’s newborn was born in the states, Jay keeps the child and raises it. In his will, he leaves all his money to baby Joe.

Doesn’t that sound like a better show? Much more interesting and well…modern. In times like these we need a show that we can relate to, not a Brady Bunch filler that takes our mind off of the scary world around us. It might not be as funny as the Modern Family that everyone knows and loves, but it will be real and raw. Sorry I’m such a creative genius.

Standard
Movies, TV

Politically Correct or Just Can’t Take a Joke?

I hate getting opinionated. Mostly because everyone finds a way to tell you that your opinion is wrong and that you don’t know what you’re saying. Well, not everyone. But a lot of people say that.

I’m interested in movies and the media. I watch the Academy Awards some years and other I don’t. If you really take the ceremony apart, bit by bit, it’s slightly disturbing. Yeah, let’s award these people for pretending to be someone else in front of a camera. Their payment of millions of dollars isn’t enough already. This is just a way for people to continually stroke their own egos. I also hate when people say actors or actresses are so “normal”. No, none of them are normal. They all want to be in front of a camera and have people tell them how great and talented they are. That’s not normal. Normal people wouldn’t chose that lifestyle.

Take the most eloquent, distinguished actor you know- Daniel Day Lewis or Meryl Streep, whoever. Sure, they seem like controlled, classy people, but when you break it down, they like to be other people in front of the camera. They want people to review them, critique them, and love them. It’s kind of sick when you think about it. All of Hollywood should have “Hey, look at me!!!” sharpied on their foreheads.tumblr_mf4zg4E4VA1qioqu5o1_r1_500

I can probably hone in on their love for attention, because I love attention too. I mean, who doesn’t right? But there are people that will go to greater lengths to get it. Like showing their boobs for example.

That was the only way I could segue into what I intended to write about. A bunch of people I know have been posting links to articles written about Seth MacFarlane’s job as a host. All of them have been awful. See, if I hadn’t watched the show myself, I would’ve just assumed that he was terrible and taken everyone’s word for it. But he wasn’t.

I am a fan of Family Guy and American Dad, both shows created by Mr. MacFarlane. I always thought he was super smart, comical, and had a great singing voice but I wasn’t sure about him hosting the Oscars. I warned my mom multiple times that he might do voices from Family Guy which will be super cringy, in which case I would change the channel immediately. seth-macfarlane-talks-oscars__oPt

To my surprise, there weren’t any voices (unless you count him doing the voice of Ted, the teddy bear). The audience laughed at all his jokes, he sang, he danced, he made fun of how long the show was dragging on for, it was great. Of course I expected him to make some borderline offensive comments, but the only thing the audience seemed to gasp for was a joke about Abraham Lincoln getting shot. Like, who cares?! There wouldn’t be a movie about him if he didn’t get shot! Actually, there probably still would’ve been because Daniel Day Lewis looks too much like him to not reenact his life. And to be honest, which Abe definitely was, I bet Mr. Lincoln would’ve laughed at that joke. Okay maybe not, but only because he wouldn’t understand our amazing 21st century humor, am I right?

The thing that really seemed to upset America was a little song that Seth performed called, “We Saw Your Boobs”. Journalists have been calling this song misogynistic. This honestly makes my blood boil. It just shows that people, women in particular, can’t take a joke. The actresses were the ones that CHOSE to show their boobs! If they’re upset at someone pointing it out, maybe they shouldn’t have been so ready and willing to take off their shirts. And pants for that matter. The Kate Winslet bit was perfect because she has been naked in almost everything that she’s been a part of. I don’t think there was a nude scene in Finding Neverland, but she probably asked for one. That song was nothing but funny, I would even call it silly. To get upset by a harmless tune like that is just ridiculous. He was only making an observation–something anyone could’ve done. If Jennifer Lawrence had sang the song I bet you a million dollars that everyone would’ve raved about how relatable and fun she is. She can do no wrong! But because Seth is a man, he’s now a misogynist. Okay, that’s fair.

Another thing that Seth said when he was acting as the voice of Ted alongside “Marky” Mark Wahlberg, was a joke about Jews in Hollywood. To sum up the joke, Ted basically announced that “Jews control Hollywood.” So journalists have called MacFarlane an anti-Semite as well. I mean, I don’t really find that offensive. Maybe because I’m not Jewish? Everyone knows that Jews don’t control Hollywood, but there are definitely a lot of Jewish people in that area of California. That’s just a fact. They made their voices known during Passion of the Christ, remember? I wouldn’t call MacFarlane an anti-Semite because of that joke. Nothing about that quote was offensive in any way.

MacFarlane was also called racist for making a joke about Daniel Day Lewis being in character at all times. He asked aloud, “If you bumped into Don Cheadle on the studio lot would you try and free him?” People are so overly sensitive to other people’s reactions. I feel like more white people felt “offended” than black people did with this one. He’s not racist because he tried to make a joke about Lincoln, slavery, and method acting. It’s a real shame that he’s being so attacked for making light-hearted jokes.

Of course on his shows, Seth MacFarlane pushes the envelope and says many crazy things. But that doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. As a host, he was tamer than I ever expected him to be.  Since the show, he’s been asked if he will ever host the ceremony again to which he responded, “No way.”

Standard
Beauty, TV

Let’s Take a Moment

For someone who has no nails, I’m obsessed with nail polish to an unhealthy degree. I know every brand, nail accessory, and collection. One of my favorite brands is O.P.I. They have amazing colors and they’re a super innovative company. I usually approve of most collections that they put out, which is why I was so taken aback when I saw that they collaborated with Mariah Carey.-OPIMariahcareycollection-

O.P.I is known for their cute play-on-word polish names. In their Nice Stems collection (summer 2011) they had a shade of magenta called “Be a Dahlia Won’t You?” and one called “I Lily Love You” which I had no choice but to purchase. The brand is also well known for featuring a different country every year and doing a collection inspired by the nation’s life style. For example, in their Germany collection they had a nice nude shade called “Berlin There Done That.” Cute, right? You get the picture.

I was looking at the Mariah collection and the names were terrible. I knew that O.P.I must have let MC name her own polishes because they sounded like how I described colors when I was eleven.

Here are some examples:

“Pink Yet Lavender”

“Sprung”

“Anti Bleak”

“A Butterfly Moment”

When I saw “A Butterfly Moment” I had to laugh. A couple months ago I saw a video of Mariah guest-hosting on QVC. The video was just a compilation of Mariah trying to fit her favorite word, “moment”, into every description. It’s incredible and amazing and one of my favorite clips of all time.

I think my faves were the “bandana moment” and the “diamond moment”. It gives me no greater pleasure than to see people struggle with words. I struggle with them all the time especially when I’m trying to describe something. From now on I’m just going to use the word moment to fill in any gaps. I think it’ll sound really professional and intelligent. Maybe throw it into a masters thesis or something. The possibilities are truly endless. It’s like an endless moment. I think we should all go out and buy “A Butterfly Moment” nail polish. That way, if things get too hectic during the day, we can look down at our nails and have the butterfly moment that Mariah wanted us to have.

Standard
TV

Godspeed, Kim Kardashian

What’s wrong with you, you crazy slut?

I see you’ve been off the pill.

What if your child is one gigantic butt?

Did you realize that you’re legally married to Kris Humphries still?kim-kardashian-ass

Kanye must be feeling proud—giving you his seed.

He’ll probably want to dress you though–he seems to feel the need.

Buying new pregnancy clothes could end up being fun.

It’s unfortunate that you’ll gain 50 pounds before you’re done.

To think of Khloe in all this must upset you.

She’s always wanted a baby too.

You probably don’t care because you all compete.

Khloe is stuck babysitting Rob. And we know they like to eat.

How do you come up with such good money-making schemes?

It’s almost as if you plan all of those dramatic reality scenes.

First it was a sex tape, then of course a fake marriage,

I didn’t think you would ever find more ways for disparage.Kim_Kardashian_wedding1

But now you’re stuck with Kanye,

There will always be a link,

He rapped about avoiding gold diggers,

Being stuck with you, well, that’s gotta stink.

I hope you pick a good baby name,

I hope it’s something the public can stand.

Maybe something more traditional and tame

Instead of Penelope Scotland.

Standard