Thoughts on Mad Men Season 6

Okay so only two episodes have aired from the newest season of Mad Men but my mom suggested that I review it and I never turn down a suggestion. Unless it’s a bad suggestion.

I’m not a true blue Mad Men fan. I often get bored with the show and find it to be pretentious at times. That being said, the show is able to redeem itself quite often in my book. For example, I really liked the first season but then I hated seasons 2-4. But then I really liked season 5. Why do things have to be so complicated?

Let me just make it clear that there will be spoilers if you haven’t watched the first two episodes yet. Someone yelled at me once via comment for spoiling a show for him. But the show had been over and done with for a while so it was really his own fault for being too slow to watch it.

There are things that I’m pleased with so far in season 6 and there are aspects of it that make me mad. One thing I am elated with is that Don Draper is back to his old self. He’s quiet, cheating on his new ugly French buck-toothed wife, being snappy at the office, and a smooth talker with the ladies. That is the Don I know and love from the earlier seasons. Last season he was so jovial and smiling all the time–it made me sick. He even took his new wife to a Howard Johnson and bought her ice cream. Old Don wouldn’t be caught dead doing that.

Peggy is literally a new character each season. I remember clearly at the start of season 2 thinking, what happened to Peggy? I guess the writers try to develop her into this successful girl of the world but it just seems so unlikely. I’ve never even seen Peggy come up with a good idea so how has she climbed so high so quickly? I wish they would kill her off like Lane.

At first she was a lowly, self conscious secretary.

Then she started to let loose.

And tried way too hard to act cool.

She rose higher in the workplace.

And now she’s a 60′s Barbie doll apparently.

Betty is still overweight, which is good. I thought they were going to return to this season with a new svelte Betty which would’ve bugged me. Also, no one cares about Betty now because she’s married to some old guy that no one cares about. However, I do care deeply about Sally. She is a precious gem in a show filled with rhinestones. I like that the writers make Sally’s rage at her mother visible. Betty is kind of the worst mom evs. And this season they had her acting all concerned for Sally’s friend who ran away to live in the city. Like, who cares? Betty wouldn’t care if Sally ran away so why does she care about this random girl? Such unnecessary filler.

Roger Sterling is still funny and charming and does absolutely nothing around the office. They managed to keep his character pretty true to the first seasons. Every show needs a silver fox and Roger is our man.

The first episode was kind of dumb and too long. However, the second episode was great because it focused on Don cheating on his wife and Pete Campbell cheating on his. It was an interesting episode because it showed how suave Don can be when wooing a woman (Lindsay Weir from Freaks and Geeks will make do in this case I guess?) and how utterly messed up things can get. With Pete Campbell demonstrating the latter. A great scene was when Pete’s wife Trudy found out about his misbehavior and laid down some ground rules. And this is big coming from the timid housewife Trudy.

So overall, I would say this season is shaping up to be alright. What I’m looking forward to is a massive Don and Megan blow out fight, possibly a Pete Campbell divorce, and lots of Sally sprinkled in between everything.

Modern-er Family

I was watching my Wednesday night line-up last night and I kind of got fed up with Modern Family. It’s almost too modern that it doesn’t even make sense. Well, I guess it makes sense but it just bothers me. Like, no family is that mixed and multicultural and skinny. Here are some things that I would change about the show to make it more realistic and a better watch overall.

First and foremost I think Claire, the mom, should die of anorexia. They always make comments about how she likes to workout or about how skinny she is. The plot twist is already halfway there. Maybe she had a case of exercise bulimia, couldn’t stop working out after each meal, and just slowly ended her life. Now the kids have to depend on their single parent, Phil, for everything. Phil, instead of being his funny, happy self, spirals into a deep depression and doesn’t come out of his room except to eat. He loses his job and the 4 of them have to move into a 2 bedroom apartment. Modernity at it’s finest.

Cam and Mitch decide that it’s time to get married. They travel to Massachusetts, tie the knot, and eventually travel down to DC to become gay rights activists. They lead marches and protests and eventually put their daughter’s happiness on the back burner. Lily, being the annoying child that she is, goes across the street to the picketers from the Westboro Baptist church. She rebels against her parents and finds a place in the Westboro community. And she gets to make really colorful signs which no kindergartner can resist.

Now that Claire is out of the picture, Phil is finally able to make a move on Gloria. Gloria welcomes the change–she almost forgot what it was like to be with a semi-youthful man. Jay finds out and gets Gloria and Manny deported–sent back to Columbia. Manny becomes a drug lord and eventually pimps out his mother. He makes millions. Since Jay and Gloria’s newborn was born in the states, Jay keeps the child and raises it. In his will, he leaves all his money to baby Joe.

Doesn’t that sound like a better show? Much more interesting and well…modern. In times like these we need a show that we can relate to, not a Brady Bunch filler that takes our mind off of the scary world around us. It might not be as funny as the Modern Family that everyone knows and loves, but it will be real and raw. Sorry I’m such a creative genius.

Politically Correct or Just Can’t Take a Joke?

I hate getting opinionated. Mostly because everyone finds a way to tell you that your opinion is wrong and that you don’t know what you’re saying. Well, not everyone. But a lot of people say that.

I’m interested in movies and the media. I watch the Academy Awards some years and other I don’t. If you really take the ceremony apart, bit by bit, it’s slightly disturbing. Yeah, let’s award these people for pretending to be someone else in front of a camera. Their payment of millions of dollars isn’t enough already. This is just a way for people to continually stroke their own egos. I also hate when people say actors or actresses are so “normal”. No, none of them are normal. They all want to be in front of a camera and have people tell them how great and talented they are. That’s not normal. Normal people wouldn’t chose that lifestyle.

Take the most eloquent, distinguished actor you know- Daniel Day Lewis or Meryl Streep, whoever. Sure, they seem like controlled, classy people, but when you break it down, they like to be other people in front of the camera. They want people to review them, critique them, and love them. It’s kind of sick when you think about it. All of Hollywood should have “Hey, look at me!!!” sharpied on their foreheads.

I can probably hone in on their love for attention, because I love attention too. I mean, who doesn’t right? But there are people that will go to greater lengths to get it. Like showing their boobs for example.

That was the only way I could segue into what I intended to write about. A bunch of people I know have been posting links to articles written about Seth MacFarlane’s job as a host. All of them have been awful. See, if I hadn’t watched the show myself, I would’ve just assumed that he was terrible and taken everyone’s word for it. But he wasn’t.

I am a fan of Family Guy and American Dad, both shows created by Mr. MacFarlane. I always thought he was super smart, comical, and had a great singing voice but I wasn’t sure about him hosting the Oscars. I warned my mom multiple times that he might do voices from Family Guy which will be super cringy, in which case I would change the channel immediately. 

To my surprise, there weren’t any voices (unless you count him doing the voice of Ted, the teddy bear). The audience laughed at all his jokes, he sang, he danced, he made fun of how long the show was dragging on for, it was great. Of course I expected him to make some borderline offensive comments, but the only thing the audience seemed to gasp for was a joke about Abraham Lincoln getting shot. Like, who cares?! There wouldn’t be a movie about him if he didn’t get shot! Actually, there probably still would’ve been because Daniel Day Lewis looks too much like him to not reenact his life. And to be honest, which Abe definitely was, I bet Mr. Lincoln would’ve laughed at that joke. Okay maybe not, but only because he wouldn’t understand our amazing 21st century humor, am I right?

The thing that really seemed to upset America was a little song that Seth performed called, “We Saw Your Boobs”. Journalists have been calling this song misogynistic. This honestly makes my blood boil. It just shows that people, women in particular, can’t take a joke. The actresses were the ones that CHOSE to show their boobs! If they’re upset at someone pointing it out, maybe they shouldn’t have been so ready and willing to take off their shirts. And pants for that matter. The Kate Winslet bit was perfect because she has been naked in almost everything that she’s been a part of. I don’t think there was a nude scene in Finding Neverland, but she probably asked for one. That song was nothing but funny, I would even call it silly. To get upset by a harmless tune like that is just ridiculous. He was only making an observation–something anyone could’ve done. If Jennifer Lawrence had sang the song I bet you a million dollars that everyone would’ve raved about how relatable and fun she is. She can do no wrong! But because Seth is a man, he’s now a misogynist. Okay, that’s fair.

Another thing that Seth said when he was acting as the voice of Ted alongside “Marky” Mark Wahlberg, was a joke about Jews in Hollywood. To sum up the joke, Ted basically announced that “Jews control Hollywood.” So journalists have called MacFarlane an anti-Semite as well. I mean, I don’t really find that offensive. Maybe because I’m not Jewish? Everyone knows that Jews don’t control Hollywood, but there are definitely a lot of Jewish people in that area of California. That’s just a fact. They made their voices known during Passion of the Christ, remember? I wouldn’t call MacFarlane an anti-Semite because of that joke. Nothing about that quote was offensive in any way.

MacFarlane was also called racist for making a joke about Daniel Day Lewis being in character at all times. He asked aloud, “If you bumped into Don Cheadle on the studio lot would you try and free him?” People are so overly sensitive to other people’s reactions. I feel like more white people felt “offended” than black people did with this one. He’s not racist because he tried to make a joke about Lincoln, slavery, and method acting. It’s a real shame that he’s being so attacked for making light-hearted jokes.

Of course on his shows, Seth MacFarlane pushes the envelope and says many crazy things. But that doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. As a host, he was tamer than I ever expected him to be.  Since the show, he’s been asked if he will ever host the ceremony again to which he responded, “No way.”

Let’s Take a Moment

For someone who has no nails, I’m obsessed with nail polish to an unhealthy degree. I know every brand, nail accessory, and collection. One of my favorite brands is O.P.I. They have amazing colors and they’re a super innovative company. I usually approve of most collections that they put out, which is why I was so taken aback when I saw that they collaborated with Mariah Carey.

O.P.I is known for their cute play-on-word polish names. In their Nice Stems collection (summer 2011) they had a shade of magenta called “Be a Dahlia Won’t You?” and one called “I Lily Love You” which I had no choice but to purchase. The brand is also well known for featuring a different country every year and doing a collection inspired by the nation’s life style. For example, in their Germany collection they had a nice nude shade called “Berlin There Done That.” Cute, right? You get the picture.

I was looking at the Mariah collection and the names were terrible. I knew that O.P.I must have let MC name her own polishes because they sounded like how I described colors when I was eleven.

Here are some examples:

“Pink Yet Lavender”

“Sprung”

“Anti Bleak”

“A Butterfly Moment”

When I saw “A Butterfly Moment” I had to laugh. A couple months ago I saw a video of Mariah guest-hosting on QVC. The video was just a compilation of Mariah trying to fit her favorite word, “moment”, into every description. It’s incredible and amazing and one of my favorite clips of all time.

I think my faves were the “bandana moment” and the “diamond moment”. It gives me no greater pleasure than to see people struggle with words. I struggle with them all the time especially when I’m trying to describe something. From now on I’m just going to use the word moment to fill in any gaps. I think it’ll sound really professional and intelligent. Maybe throw it into a masters thesis or something. The possibilities are truly endless. It’s like an endless moment. I think we should all go out and buy “A Butterfly Moment” nail polish. That way, if things get too hectic during the day, we can look down at our nails and have the butterfly moment that Mariah wanted us to have.

Godspeed, Kim Kardashian

What’s wrong with you, you crazy slut?

I see you’ve been off the pill.

What if your child is one gigantic butt?

Did you realize that you’re legally married to Kris Humphries still?

Kanye must be feeling proud—giving you his seed.

He’ll probably want to dress you though–he seems to feel the need.

Buying new pregnancy clothes could end up being fun.

It’s unfortunate that you’ll gain 50 pounds before you’re done.

To think of Khloe in all this must upset you.

She’s always wanted a baby too.

You probably don’t care because you all compete.

Khloe is stuck babysitting Rob. And we know they like to eat.

How do you come up with such good money-making schemes?

It’s almost as if you plan all of those dramatic reality scenes.

First it was a sex tape, then of course a fake marriage,

I didn’t think you would ever find more ways for disparage.

But now you’re stuck with Kanye,

There will always be a link,

He rapped about avoiding gold diggers,

Being stuck with you, well, that’s gotta stink.

I hope you pick a good baby name,

I hope it’s something the public can stand.

Maybe something more traditional and tame

Instead of Penelope Scotland.

Lily Playing Jeopardy

Every weeknight my husband watches Jeopardy and I join him on occasion. I have trouble answering a lot of the questions, or questioning a lot of the answers, as you do on Jeopardy. Sometimes I’ll be familiar with a category and start thinking of possible answers before the questions are even asked. By doing so, I manage to make Jeopardy the least fun activity ever.

Let’s say someone picks the category Bible Books By Story. Here’s what it would be like to watch with me:

Some loser on the show named Sheila or something dumb: I’ll take Bible Books for $200 Alex.

Me: Ugh don’t call him Alex.

Alex: A great fish swallows a reluctant prophet.

Me: Who is John?

Sheila: Who is Jonah?

Alex: Correct!

Me: Oh yeah. I knew it started with a ‘J’.

Sheila: Let’s continue the category for $400.

Me: Yes, let’s.

Alex: Moas and boas are loaded into Noah’s ark.

Me: John?

Sheila: What is Genesis?

Alex: Right!

Me: Oh yeah. I forgot about that one.

Sheila: Bible Books for $600 please.

Alex: 3 friends are thrown into a fiery furnace.

Me: I’m gonna go with John.

Sheila: What is Genesis?

Alex: No sorry.

Me: HAH you already guessed Genesis you loser. Geeze Sheila, figure out the Bible already.

Sheila: Bible Books $800.

Alex: Shamgar, one of the title arbiters, kills 600 Philistines with an ox goad.

Me: Wtf is an ox goad? I’m pretty sure that was John.

Sheila: What is Judges?

Alex: Yes!

Me: Calm down Alex.

Sheila: Finish the category please.

Alex: Thomas doubts the other Apostles have really met the risen Jesus.

Me: John?

Shelia: Idk

Alex: Ooo sorry. The answer is John.

Me:

Kidz Showz

Isn’t everything cuter when you spell it with z’s? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Anyway, this is a special announcement to celebrate the opening of a special collaboration blog that Mooselicker and I have made. Well, I basically did everything and Tim said he would write some stuff. It’s really organized, I promise.

If you’ve ever mentioned a kid’s show on your blog, it’s likely that I zoomed in on that bit of information and only commented about the kid’s show and nothing else. They fascinate me. I say “kid’s shows” but I’m talking about shows that range from Blue’s Clues to Lizzie McGuire and everything in between. Kid’s movies will also be included. There is really no limit to what this blog will cover in terms of childhood shows. I’m sure you’re all super jealous that you didn’t think of it first.

I’m using this post as not only an announcement, but also as a poll of sorts. If you are interested in us covering one of your favorite shows, make sure to leave a comment so we can write about it. We have a good base of knowledge between us, so it’s likely that we’ve seen most shows from the past and present.

So go visit our new blog Kidz Showz! (There is only one post up now, but there will be lots more to come!)

Cartoon Characters That I Feel Sorry For

It’s hard for me to trace back my thought process in order to explain how I came up with this topic. I believe I was eating Lucky Charms and thinking about the Trix Rabbit and what a rough life he has. What’s more sad: a cartoon rabbit’s non-existent life, or the fact that I can’t even keep my cereal mascots straight?

I’ll start with the Trix Rabbit. Clearly, the guy likes his colorful cereal. He does whatever he can to get his hands on a box of Trix and his plans always eventually get spoiled by children that claim “Trix are for kids!” Okay honestly, says who? I could go to the grocery store right now and buy some Trix and no one would stop me. Those kids are actually perpetuating bullying and I don’t think it’s right. No one taught them how to share I guess. How is the Trix Rabbit not allowed to eat his own brand’s cereal? I feel like we should get an army of cereal mascots on the case to punish these kids. Or am I taking this too far?

Daffy Duck is another character that never really gets lucky. Unfortunately, his rival is Bugs Bunny who tends to be overly lucky. I mean, the guy gets put in a boiling caldron of water and doesn’t die. Slightly unfair. Whenever Elmer Fudd is about, Bugs tells him that it’s Duck Hunting Season which is most likely a lie. Daffy usually tries defending himself but always ends up getting shot. His beak spins around a couple of times and that’s that. I’d like to see Bugs get shot and I’m not ashamed of that.

Wait. What if Bugs Bunny is really the Trix Rabbit in hell and his punishment is to always hunger for Trix while his craving is never satisfied? I should write a book on that theory.

I’m not super familiar with the TV show Tom and Jerry, but I do know that ill-fated Tom always gets the short end of the stick. All he wants is to eat Jerry, is that really so much to ask? Hanna and Barbera are super unrealistic if they think that a cat can’t catch a mouse. My cat caught birds. Birds don’t ever have to touch the ground if they don’t want to, yet my cat managed to catch one twelve. Cats are awesome. The fact that Jerry also got to dance with Gene Kelly really burns me up inside. He’s so undeserving of such great attention. It should be Tom dancing there.

Lastly, I think Wile E. Coyote deserves some attention. He lives in the desert. He’s hungry. He wants to kill this stupid Road Runner. He comes up with amazing plans, most of which end up with an anvil on his head. The story is pretty heart breaking. The sad part is, Road Runner is oblivious to everything. Most of the time he doesn’t even realize that Wile E. Coyote is trying to catch him which makes it even more annoying. I think the real shame in this whole cartoon is how much the Acme corporation lets Wile E. down. He depends on them so much and they usually end up dropping crates on his head. I mean, he should really sue them. Then he could eat all the Road Runners he wants! Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Kate’s Mistake

I think we’ve all heard about Kate Middleton’s topless photos by now, haven’t we? The reason it’s a big story is because, well, that’s not how a princess should act. At least in my opinion.

Here’s the scoop, Kate and Wills were on vacation in France and a photographer snapped some pictures of the couple while Kate was topless (to be fair, William was topless too!). The photographer gave the pictures to the French tabloid, Closer, and they were published for all the world to see. William was livid and took action, suing Closer for their nice spread of Kate’s boobies.

Kate, your boobs are EVERYWHERE.

Many people would say, “Isn’t Kate allowed to be topless on her private vacation? She’s only human!” Yes, she is allowed! But if she wants to be seen in a certain, professional and royal light, then she has to watch herself when she forgets to wear a top. Not to sound harsh, but it’s no one’s fault but Kate’s. Look, I’m all for Kate having fun and living it up. But she should know by now that photographers are everywhere, professional, or not. She will always be one of the most photographed people ever, and if she thinks that she can take off her top and no one will be the wiser, she is sorely mistaken.

I don’t think it’s fair that William and Kate took action against the magazine. After all, they were only doing their job. If you don’t want to be featured in scandalous pictures, don’t invite scandal. If you don’t care, then be free! Go topless! And bottomless for that matter.

You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back. So I decided to find the pictures, because I wanted to be fully informed on the issue. What a disappointment. If only Kate would put on a little weight, then she might have some crowd-pleasing breasticles, but alas, her slight frame proved to be a letdown. Perhaps that was the reason that William was so upset? He didn’t want everyone to see Kate’s invisible boobs?

Kate may be royalty, but now I have a one-up on her. Or maybe a two-up?

Let Me Introduce The Wiggle Lady

This YouTube video has been floating around the internet for some time and hasn’t received as much recognition as I would like. So let me introduce to you, The Wiggle Lady.

I’m sure her official title isn’t the Wiggle Lady, but this is my blog and that’s what we’re calling her. She’s the spokesperson for the amazing and unique Rainbow Sponge. It’s the perfect gift for kids under 5 years old or for your crazy grandma. Personally, I know that my crazy grandma would be entertained for hours. And she would probably make the same noises, unfortunately.

So what can we learn from the Wiggle Lady?

1. Squeezing Rainbow Sponges will improve your arm strength.

2. The Army Arts and Crafts department can apparently send people anywhere they please.

3. Earth tones are super in this year.

4. Oh My Gosh!

5. Rainbow Sponges are insanely addictive.

I really admire the Wiggle Lady because she gets joy out of the smallest things. If we were all like her, maybe the world would be a better place. For the upcoming election, I’ll be entering the Wiggle Lady for President on my ballot.