Judging, Music

Analyzing Avril


If your eyes haven’t had the pleasure of watching Avril Lavigne’s new music video, “Hello Kitty”, you’re probably 84 years old and don’t own a computer. Or even know who Avril is. If that’s the case, would you be willing to trade lives with me?

The mistress of Nickelback has made the entire world cringe with her new song and “dance moves.” The song itself is kind of difficult to understand and not just because some of the lyrics are in Japanese. I’ve listened to the song twice now and all I call decipher are the words “Come come kitty kitty, you’re so pretty pretty.” The next poet laureate, perhaps?

I’d like to give Avril an ounce of credit and assume that someone else wrote this song for her and when she read the title, “Hello Kitty”, she was like, “Oh God. Really? Okay.” So maybe it’s not totally her fault. But I have to give her props for singing a song that makes “Sk8er Boi” sound like something performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

As for the music video, it’s painful to imagine that these are the BEST shots the director could get. Basically Avril dances around in cupcake tutus, blazers, and unflattering tights. She’s followed around by four identically dressed Japanese (I’m assuming) women who don’t look the least bit happy to be trailing this Canadian wannabe around all day. I imagine that the direction given to Avril on set was like “Okay can you just jump around or something? Maybe try to mouth the lyrics like you’re actually saying the words? Try to strum the guitar like you know how to play the guitar.” The beginning of the video seems like Avril is pretty into what she’s doing but by the end, it kind of falls apart. Her heart just isn’t in it. Which is probably a good thing.

If you care to ruin your life by watching this terrible POS, be my guest. CLICK HERE.

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26 thoughts on “Analyzing Avril

  1. Due to the insistence of people on my FB feed, I had the, um, hmmmm…I need a kind word here…ahhh, oh! the experience of viewing said video. Now, I need to roll my mind’s ears and eyes in acid in order to wipe away the memory.

    PS I had to Google Translate what Sk8er Boi was in English. It said I was too uncool to understand.

    • Hah yeah it definitely has a way of disturbing all of the senses. Like, I felt physical pain after watching it, for reals.
      Oh Sk8er Boi. That was like my anthem in 6th grade. My sad and extremely lame anthem.

  2. Apparently I’m 84 and don’t own a computer! My life is glorious, because I’ve never even heard the song. But then again, I will click the link, just to knwo what it is about.
    However stupid that may be :D

    • Haha no, you’re just safe in Belgium and haven’t been introduced to our terrible music artists yet. Also, it’s pretty new. Nothing wrong with being 84! :D

  3. The boys at the Bell Desk and I made it through one minute and six seconds of… whatever the hell that was before vowing to track down and destroy Avril and that douchebag Chad Kroeger…
    Then we went back, at the boys’ insistence, I might add, to staring at your 5×5 pic, Lily.

    • Lol you flatter me. But yeah, truly, it’s horrendous. Avril and Chad really make quite the couple, huh? One bad track after another.
      Also, sorry I haven’t gotten around to guest posting! I’ve been super sick and overwhelmed with nannying so I’ll have to rain check on it. But it will happen one of these days, I promise!

  4. I watched this video and I don’t know what’s worse, her haircut, or the fact that 1900 people have actually liked this video clip.

    Do you just picture her and that guy from Nickleback having D&Ms over their latest songs. ‘Yeah honey, I think that’s fantastic! Wanna listen to my latest track where I pretend to be a nerd in Japan?’

    • I think the people that liked the video are people that are using the internet for the first time in their lives and it was like, a mind blowing experience for them.

      Lol yes. What must their relationship be like? You would think one of them would have the sense to talk the other out of doing terrible songs, but nope. Poor unfortunate souls.

      • No way, they probably egg each other on. They’re probably the only people in the world who view Nickleback and Avril songs as good. Ughh.

    • You described it perfectly. It does become depressing. It’s a wonder that Avril can’t see that though. Like, doesn’t she watch that video and think, “Wow this is terrible.”?

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