Holidays, Vacation

Waking Up in Vegas


I never thought I’d use a Katy Perry song as my title, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. Just be relieved that I didn’t use “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it.”

This year my husband and I spent our Christmas in Vegas by ourselves which turned out to be a fun little getaway and something very different compared to my past Christmases. Celebrating the holiday in Las Vegas is not for the faint of heart. But it is a great time to go because the weather is nice and the crowds have died down.las-vegas-strip

I find that I always have a running commentary whenever I’m at a public attraction. There’s so much to see, so many people to judge, and a lot of things to laugh at. The following is a list of some of my brain’s dumb thought process while on vacation:

Everyone here is on crazy pills. 

Why are people gambling at 8am? Why are they drinking at 8am? 

A hustler tried to sell me his rap album and refered to me as Taylor Swift. Then he asked for my autograph and I told my husband to give him some money ($3) for his “album.” I got a talking to about interacting with strange men on the strip. Tee hee.

Mmm what smells so good?

So much foooood. Buffet dreamland.

What is the point of see through pants? 

I think my legs are going to fall off…omg what is that? SO SPARKLY!

I hate slow walkers.

That cab driver is my new best friend.

Ahhh spa time.

Ahh jacuzzi time.

Ahh nap time.

Where am I? Who am I?

Elvis impersonator informs me that it’s “illegal to be that cute.” Umm alright. Why do I attract freaks?!

Did Wolf of Wall Street really need to be 3 hours long? Don’t get me wrong, I love Leo, but like, this was so unnecessary. 

While eating the thinnest pizza ever I determine that this is what heaven tastes like.

Merry Christmas, homeless man!

While eating the most sugary milkshake ever, I decide that this is what hell tastes like and throw up in the bathroom like a real lady. Was there butter in that shake?!

Merry Christmas, crack addict!

Do people actually like Celine Dion this much?

She has her own gift shop?

Got tickets to Cirque du Soleil’s Beatles Love show and it was literally the bomb.com. I had this creepy smile on my face the entire time. It was gross.

Merry Christmas, Chinese man who’s been playing the slot machines since midnight yesterday!

“The Desert Inn Has Heart, The Desert Inn Has Heart…”

Why is there a five mile line up at Starbucks?

I want to punch that cab driver in the face.

Goodbye Vegas, thanks for the mems!

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? What did you think?

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18 thoughts on “Waking Up in Vegas

    • Haha true. Everyone there is a tourist so maybe you would just blend in with the crowd. You could always drive a taxi around and then no one would be the wiser! ;)

  1. No, but I have been on a casino boat in Mississippi where I took full advantage of the all-you-can-eat buffet.

    It’s good that you’ve got this blog to capture your thought processes on, otherwise such genius would be lost forever.

    Las Vegas sounds like one of those bright, over the top places that everyone should visit at least once.

    Was it a man or a woman wearing see-through pants?

    • Lol my grandma is from Mississippi. So strange. I’m sure they have amazing food down there in the deep south!

      Lol you flatter me, dear Michael.

      I think you would like Vegas. British people seem to like it just because it’s so crazy. It wears you out though. One can only deal with so much stimulus.

      Haha a woman. I hope…

  2. I’m from Las Vegas so, yep, I’d say I’ve been there. I miss it like crazy. All my friends and family are there….but as much as I love it, I didn’t want to raise my son there since we had other options. There’s so much to see and do away from the strip.

    I loved the running commentary! Made miss home just a little more. :-)

    • Oh no way! That’s really cool. The outlying town looks like it goes on forever! That’s nice that you decided to raise your son somewhere else–the good news is that you can kill two birds when you want to go on vacation and visit family! Sounds like a good deal to me!

      Hah thanks so much! I hope you get to go back soon!

  3. You two should have renewed your vows while you were there. Such a romantic place.

    NYC is full of rappers trying to sell CDs. What they do is hand them out and when you grab it they run up to you and try to charm you. They usually charge more than $3. It’s so annoying and there are so many. I hate Times Square so much.

    • Haha I actually thought about that but then I also thought about how cheeseball and gross it would be–so yeah, I agree…super romantic.

      YES! See I fall for that crap all the time. I assume if someone shoves something in my hands that I should take it, but nopeee. Yeah I think $3 was all we had luckily. So I got myself a sweet album by Koopah 3D. Haha. When I was in Times Square like 4 years ago it wasn’t too bad…but I’m an oblivious person most of the time.

  4. For some reason, I’ve never had the inkling or desire to go to Vegas but your rambling thoughts made me laugh out loud a few times, Lily. I’ve been to a Cirque du Soleil show and I loved it. I don’t understand the Celine Dion thing. And I agree with you, The Wolf of Wall Street DID NOT need to be three hours long. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

    • Haha thanks Brigitte! Yeah it’s definitely not for everyone. There are other, better, cleaner places to go! Haha. Cirque du Soeil shows are so great, huh?! Celine Dion must be making so much money there though–there are so many people lined p to see her! Weird! Omg Wolf of Wall street was so indulgent…like, we get it! Glad you agree! Happy New year girlie!

  5. I need to get to your posts faster. Every time I saw this in my email, that song got stuck in my head. But all I know is the one line, so it just kept looping.
    Gah!

    I am both saddened and relieved that you don’t understand the joys of 8am drinking.

    • Haha I hate the one-line song loop! That happens to me almost every night.

      Hah maybe some day I’ll be a person who relies on a 8am drink, but for now, I think I’m safe! :D

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