Okay, that’s a little dramatic. I’m not saving the world. But I’m definitely saving Victoria’s ass big time. I’ve already helped people in need thrice this week. Do I need to purchase a cape or what?
A couple of days ago I was shopping in Walmart (gross, I know). I chose an express line and the old man in front of me kept turning around and staring at me. Assuming it was just another Walmart psycho, I chose to ignore him and put my sausages, peppers, carrots, and hummus (the essentials) on the conveyor belt.
When the guy in front of me turned around to face the cashier, I noticed that he had a packet of cheese in his back pocket. Like, an $8 block of cheese. He was completely rung up and about to pay when I tapped him on the shoulder and said “Don’t forget the cheese in your pocket!” He reached back, laughed and pulled it out and paid for it.
Afterwards the cashier was about to kiss my feet or something, she was so grateful. The best part was when I reached down to grab my groceries, I saw that the man in front of me forgot his other bag to which the cashier said, “Karma!” He must have been very flustered.
*There was originally part of me that thought he might have forgotten the cheese and wasn’t trying to steal it but then I realized, who would put cheese into their back pocket instead of into their cart with the rest of their food? I also thought he was going to beat me up in the parking lot or follow me home so I laced my keys between my finger and took a weird route home. The things I do in order to stop thievery.
The next day I was walking downtown when two Asian tourists flagged me down. They were holding their luggage and looking super confused. They had a map with their hotel circled on it and asked if I knew where it was in broken English. I said yes, and gave them directions but since I was walking that way anyway, I told them to follow me and I would take them there.
I had a little chat with them and found out they were coming from California and just visiting for pleasure. They said the city was very beautiful (even though it was a little cloudy) which was cute. All in all they were super grateful that I was able to guide them to their destination. Just doing my civic duty.
On the same day, as I was walking home, a biker stopped and asked me for directions and I pointed him in the right way. Not a super big deal, but if it wasn’t for me he probably would’ve gotten lost and died. So what I’m trying to say is that Victoria needs to erect a statue of me pronto.
Lily In Canada 
I’ve opened the Kickstarter campaign to fund the statue. You can thank me later.
Nice work minion. Things are progressing as planned.
Lily, you’re an excellent example of an immigrant defying the odds and proving your worth to the local community.
Well done.
If I was going to be saved by someone in cape, you’d be my favourite person to do it. Not only would you be heroic and noble, but you’d be incredibly clean, stylish, and well-read as well.
Hah thanks Michael. Yeah, it’s always a fun feeling to not be from the city you live in, but you still feel superior because you know your way around.
Haha clean! I would be though. From all my baths. You know me too well. Hopefully I can save you one day!
Is there any reason for not buying a cape? You will surely rock it. Don’t forget to take a servant with a fan, you know, for the effect ;).
Hah totally! I need to invest in one soon. Although there was a guy in my high school who wore a cape and it was pretttttty weird. But I think I could rock it. Good idea about the fan!
You use the word ” thrice” better than any blogger I know. Way to save V- ass lady.
You so need a cape…., with glitter. You can pack your bath bombs in your utility belt. Kerpow!!!
(Who the hell puts cheese in their back pocket?– stupid shoplifter dude)
Hah so glad you noticed. Trice is one of my favorite words along with ricochet and akimbo.
I do need a glittery cape and bath bombs to throw at people! Hah this is turning into a Roy Lichtenstein painting…
I know right? There are so many better things to steal!
Haha! Great story! I’m already designing your super hero costume! 🙂
Yess! I needed a designer! Thanks for having me covered!
Cheese in his back pocket?! Can we call that man Buttcheese from now on?
Also, the story of the tourists is so sweet. Way to be awesome, girl 🙂
-Sarah
Hah Buttcheese it is! It’s got a certain ring to it…
Ahh thanks! It was one of those things where you feel extremely good about yourself when you’re making someone else happy 🙂
Thanks for the kindness Sarah!
Make sure you do something bad now to balance out the world.
When I first read this I was wondering who Victoria was. I thought you were one of those people who talk about people you know without giving us any background and you expect us to figure it out. Then I remembered places are named after people.
I know, right? This behavior is so unlike me. I’m surprised I didn’t spontaneously combust.
Yeah, if I was reading this I would be confused as well. I always feel like I should explain that Victoria is where I live, but it’s so much extra work for my poor fingers. I’m glad you thought I had a friend named Victoria. Or just a friend in general.
Girl you’ve got some good karma coming your way for sure. I get asked for directions all the time too. I like to think it’s because I’m pleasant looking but not too attractive to be threatening, and have a warmth that glows from within.
Hahaha you’re very observant of your own being. I love it. I would totes ask your for directions. You probs seem really savvy and people are just drawn to your chic city style. I know I would be!
Why did I think you lived in Ontario? Ah well, Victoria is a lovely city….I have family there.
Canadians are known for being the nice-ies. Especially here in the Maritimes (ie. Nova Scotia where.I.is.). Tourists are always flabbergasted when they ask for directions and 15 people chime in to help out.
And yes, I think you deserve a statue.
Not sure. I think everyone assumes that I moved to Toronto because that’s the most populated place, but nope! I moved to V-town which is a little more obscure haha. But yeah it’s a great place!
Canadians are super nice, although I have met my fair share of meanies as well. Haha! Thanks girl! You should have a statue in Nova Scotia! I’m sure you’ve done enough good deeds there!