I don’t like science. Never have, never will. I didn’t care how much the sun weighed or how dense a cylinder of water was. I laughed when my Earth Science teacher said that we had to find the cleavage in our rocks. I also had the biggest carbon footprint of all time and couldn’t care less.
Often times I would look around the room, staring at pictures of our solar system or the periodic table. After a couple of years in high school, a reoccurring poster would appear on the walls of my science rooms. It looked like this:
I need to talk about this poster. Let’s start with Carol. Carol is the worst name ever. Apparently she never wore her safety goggles. I don’t blame Carol here. If her class had safety “goggles”, that’s pretty embarrassing. We only had to wear these clear glasses. If ours had a strap at the back, I sure as hell wouldn’t have worn them either. She was probably just trying to be cool and make up for the fact that her name was Carol.
It’s obvious that her teacher didn’t care about her. If he/she cared, they wouldn’t have made it an option to wear the goggles. Another question: why is Carol’s teacher using such dangerous chemicals in the presence of young students? There are sooo many experiments that you could do, but you choose the one that could blind someone? Good work.
It’s obvious that Carol made a mistake. She burned her eyes and probably didn’t run to flush them out with that cool spurty sink that all the class rooms had. Or she could’ve used the shower in the back of the room that I’ve always been tempted to use.
So now Carol doesn’t need safety goggles? Just because she’s blind, she doesn’t need to keep her eyes safe anymore? What kind of logic is that? Or do they mean that she already has protective goggles because she has to wear those sweet sunglasses? Either way, it’s weird. At least she gets to walk with a pimp cane now and she never has to look at how badly she dresses. A win/win really.
Lily In Canada 
Lily,
Once again, I give you the slow clap. A great, great piece! You had me at “….She was probably just trying to be cool and make up for the fact that her name was Carol.”
Addie
Thank you thank you. She probably was though! I could totally see her doing something like that. Everyone wants to be cool. She paid the price with her eyes.
Yes, but, in exchange she did get the cool pimp cane. And, maybe a dog.
Hahaha I love the mention of Carol. My friend Rob actually has the poster of this. He emailed some site. Then I tried to email them and for some reason I claimed to be a teacher. They said they’d mail it to the school and I got nervous and stopped pursuing. I think I didn’t want them realizing two kids living in the same town were asking for the same poster in the same week.
I don’t think Carol has to wear her safety goggles anymore because how can she even mix chemicals now? I think the poster I saw said “Now she doesn’t have to” instead of “Now she doesn’t need them.” It really could have been better written. There’s too much 1970s irony in it.
That’s awesome! It’s such a good poster. You should ask him to photocopy it for you. I’m pretty sure it’s a good addition to any room. Just a reminder of how precious your sight is.
I think you’re right. Maybe I missed the point that she can’t even do scientific experiments, let alone walk to class by herself. Such a tragic story.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry
Can’t it be both? 😉
absolutely!
LOL!! Carol gets to use a pimp cane. Is there any wonder why I love ya so much?
Haha love ya too! Carol turns into a real pimp in her later years. Who needs science when you’ve got moneyyy $$$$.
Haha!
Carols got it going on.
You mock poor Carol. Her life as a bad example is bad enough, isn’t it?
The only reason I don’t have a problem mocking Carol is because she’s probably not real. They should’ve used a real person on the poster who blinded themselves! I would’ve taken it more seriously.
Actually, no. I probably wouldn’t have.
Never — NEVER! — got to see anyone use the eye-wash doohickey or shower. NEVER! Squandered high school experience, if you ask me.
I know, right?!? How frustrating. They tempt us with those eye wash stations and showers, yet no one ever gets to use them! RUDE.
Is Carol wearing a hoodie to show that she is a hip teenager, or is hair that shellacked down with hairspray in the back?
And why does she have to look like she is coated in sulphur? Do all chemistry safety posters follow a color theme corresponding to the Periodic Table?
It does look like a hoodie! Haha I never noticed that. I bet she doesn’t mind dousing herself in hairspray because she doesn’t have to worry about closing her eyes! What a care-free life!
I know, right? Who was in charge of the color scheme for this poster? It’s just so awful.
It’s worse than we thought. Carol accidentally grabbed sunglasses instead of the nose plugs she wanted, because everyone know how badly Pete’s feet stunk.
(That’t the real reason the Beatles broke up.)
I think you’re onto something. She even got to replace John! She’s taking over the world!
LOL Poor Carol. You nee to adopt her and make her feel worth caring about.
Lol I really should. She deserves a good life, doesn’t she? Maybe I could buy her one of those sweet seeing-eye dogs.
We can call the dog Christmas.
Hahah!
Well, once again you’ve hurt me deeply. Carol was my first wife. She was blinded in high school by me. I was playing with the acid and pretending to throw it in her face when the lid came of the jar. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes. Carol died in a tragic bus accident. We were visiting London and her seeing eye dog failed to look the right way and led her into oncoming traffic. It was one of those red, double-decker tourist buses. I always wanted to ride on one of those, but I digress. Carol was shattered and so was her pimp cane. With the insurance money, I had that poster made and distributed to help others. I also put in a neat pool and got a bitchin’ car. Anyway, thanks for bringing back those tragic memories. I loved that dog. HF
This comment was almost better than my entire post. Almost. Cars and pools really help heal all wounds. Such a jokester–pretending to throw acid in her face! How fun! I could see how her dog would be confused and I’m sure the jet-lag didn’t help matters.
It wasn’t all that much fun–I got detention for a week! HF
From the highs of Epcot, to the lows of Carol the blind bird.
That’s why I keep coming back.
Hahah thanks Michael. I always accredit you to “discovering me”. I’m glad I’ve held your interest for so long!
Haha Carol the blind bird…
Carol doesn’t even get a seeing eye dog. She has to be content with an old cane. What a sad existence.
Ugh I know! How many bad cards is this girl gonna get dealt? Rough life.
Hey, she had a seeing eye dog! Doesn’t anybody read my comments around here. Why oh why do I bother! HF
Hahaha
Hahahaha I love the bluntness of this poster! Isn’t it just trying to teach us science is rubbish & dangerous, get rid of it?
Pretty much. It’s basically saying that science is the worst and you’ll probably end up maimed in the process. Hahah!
I laugh whenever scientists or other medical professionals say the word ‘invagination’ anything. Vaginas are hilarious!
Omg I’ve never heard of that! Or maybe I have and I just wasn’t paying attention. Vaginas are extremely hilarious!
But if it wasn’t for science class, how would we have met?!? 😛
This is true. The one good thing that came out of Bio. Also, do you remember the fingerprint crime solving unit? That was kind of fun… 😉
Yes, I def remember that! I actually liked the entire CSI unit, but that’s prob because I’m super-morbid… oop~ lol Didn’t we go to Brookfield Zoo too? I feel like that was something that happened.
I know have the Thomas Dolby song stuck in my head after reading this post and HF’s comment. Thank you for that…
that should read I NOW
Haha omg that’s so perfect! I should’ve named my post that! Damn!!!
Lily, you are a riot. You obviously put your artistic skills to work putting Carol with the Beatles. She should be proud, pimp cane and all. I do hope you’ve learned a vital lesson about safety goggles — Carol is the poster child for that now. Don’t let it be you. (but Lily would be a much cooler name, though).
Haha thanks Brigitte! Carol should definitely be proud! She has the best strut out of all the members of the band! Unfortunately I didn’t make the picture…I found it on google! Apparently, I’m not the only one who likes to poke fun at Carol! Lily would’ve been a more appropriate name because it’s definitely something that I would’ve done!
oh carol , I am but a fool
you hurt me and you made me cry..
oppss sorry I can’t help it ..
I hadn’t ever heard that song before. I just youtubed it–it’s a good one! Haha
that is one song I can’t forget, one embarrasing moment of my life 🙂
Omg that poster is jokes. And you’re right, Carol’s cane is pimp. You know what else is pimp? The fact that I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Check it out:
http://breezyk.wordpress.com
That is the pimpest news I’ve had all day. Granted, it’s only 10:45 am for me, so who knows. Thanks Breezy! You make my blogging life way more fun 😀
Poor Carol. We always had to wear our safety goggles even in the olden days (the 60s) and my father made me wear mine when we were woodworking, too. He was very safety conscious.
You woodworked with your dad? That sounds intense. That’s good that he made you wear your safety goggles though. Imagine getting a splinter in your eye! Yowzaaa!
Being cool is a hard job after all! 😉
It’s true. I think Carol got cooler after she was blinded.
It certainly makes you more unique! 😉
Oh my gosh this is hilarious!
Haha thanks Brianna! Glad you enjoyed it 😀
I heart this. If I ever need help finding a silver lining in any situation will you help me?
Haha thanks so much! Yes, definitely. In most bad situations, my way of comforting people is by pointing out that at least they’re not dying a painful death. That usually makes people feel better (or worse). Feel free to use it any time!
Hmmm….I’ll try it!
Beautiful work, Lily – again!
Thank you thank you!
Hahaha I really love science, but sadly I’m really, really terrible at it. I can appreciate fantastic facts and love learning about the different parts and what not, but apparently I just can’t apply that to any form or reason, or exams for that matter. Ohhh chemistry.
Hah yeah sometimes science is fascinating. I wish I could understand it better, I really do, but there are so many different terms and formulas…I can’t keep them straight. I hear ya girl. Ohhh chemistry!
Lily, thanks so much for leaving a comment on 365 Cups of Kindness blog so I could click on your link and check out your blog! I have only read the most recent 2 blogs and I am a fan already! Thanks for making me laugh out loud with your thoughts about Carol – I needed it after being up most of the night with my annoying insomnia. This Texas girl is glad she found you!
Any old time! So glad you liked the dumb little things my brain comes up with! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! I love Texas, so I’m sure we’ll get along well 😀
Amazing!
Hah thank you kindly, glad you liked it!
Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks!
You are welcome to camp out here any time. Good news is, there aren’t any bears! Thanks so much for stopping by! 😀
Hahaha! This is amazing. It reminds me of when I worked in this electrical component factory, there was a sign next to the store room that said, “WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES – WE HAVE NO MORE EYES IN STOCK” as if to say that at some point they did in fact have eyes in stock. Like in a pickle jar or something. I never to used wear safety crap, because I’m ‘Ard but someone like Carol, well she learnt her lesson there.
Hahah we have no more eyes in stock. Ugh I hate safety jokes! You’re way too ‘ard to be wearing safety gear, but I’m sure you could make it look cool!
If by cool you mean wearing them upside down out of defiance and getting my hands burnt by moulton hot tin then yes, well suave 😀
So suave. I need to come to England so we can hang out and be ‘ard together.
You do and before I go to Australia, otherwise we’ll have to have a BBQ and a crocodile wrestle.
When are you going to Aussie? Maybe I should meet you there!
Hopefully around October time, I need to save up about 4k before then though so that means no more prostitutes for me. Well not the expensive ones anyway. It’d be awesome if I manage it and actually find work out there. There’s no better accent than an Aussie accent. As long as I don’t get fired I’ll be dandy! (famous last words)
Sounds pimp! October is my birthday month so maybe I’ll either take a trip to England or Australia depending on where you are. You should feel the most special.
Woo! Imagine spending your birthday with me! You’ll be expecting like hardcore partying but I end up taking you around some art galleries and museums. (Lolz asif, we’ll be getting battered) It will probs be England because I’m pessimistic and won’t even make it to Australia. But I shall keep you updated 😀
Kk sounds good! Let’s do it for real! I think we should get wasted and THEN go to a museum hahah!
Yes! We can break a load of expensive shit and then I can blame it all on you, and they’ll be like, “Well… where does she live?”
And I’ll just suavely reply, “Canada mofu!”
Haha!
I beg to differ on the name argument though. Carol is not THE worst. I think Barbara or Roberta could easily top Carol… to offense to anyone with those names of course.
You bring up a good point! Barbara is so bad. Roberta is bad too. Or what about Francis? Ughhh
Hmm Francis… Somehow I feel that would be okay for a man.
I just found your blog today and started following it, mostly because I agree with almost every topic you’ve written about. And this poster–such memories! I found it so hilarious when I was in high school. Eventually I stole it from my chemistry classroom. I couldn’t imagine living my life after high school without Carol. I can’t believe you posted it on here!
Aww that’s such a great compliment, thank you! I love when others can relate to what I write about. This poster, as you can tell, made me laugh so much as well. I’ll never forget Carol. I love that you stole the poster! If you’re gonna steal one thing from high school, it might as well be Carol. What a babe she is.