Vacation

EPCOT Escapades


My family went to Orlando, Florida a lot when I was growing up. We also went a lot after I had grown up. My favorite part of the Disney experience was always EPCOT. It was a world showcase right in my own country, what more could I ask for? There was food from around the world, makeup and clothes from different countries, and of course, foreign hotties.

One of my first experiences with an EPCOT employee was when I was maybe 15. I wasn’t exactly a catch at this point in my life. I remember entering the Canadian pavilion and wanting to get some popcorn. In EPCOT they will assure you that popcorn was created in Canada. This bit of info seems wrong. Even my Canadian husband has pointed out that Canadians couldn’t have been the first people to heat up kernels. There’s no way.

At the popcorn stand was a super cute guy named Sean. He was blonde and tall and just my 15-year old type. He looked like Barbie’s Ken. After that, I looked at him from afar and pretty much stalked him for the rest of the trip. Exhilarating.

A couple years down the line I was wandering through the Morocco pavilion when a Moroccan guy, not much older than myself ran up to me. He told me that I was beautiful and wanted to see me again. His name was Amine (pronounced ah-meen) and we became instant lovers. And by lovers I mean that we held hands and walked around a theme park together.

One night we decided to watch the fireworks. I could feel my phone vibrating in my purse but I didn’t want to interrupt this romantic moment we were having. I was basically Jasmine and he was my Aladdin. When I was leaving the park, I called my mom only to find out that she thought I was kidnapped. My brother had been out looking for me and even asked Amine’s manager where he was and when he had last seen him. My mom is basically Liam Neeson.

When is she gonna learn that no one will ever want to take me?

When is she gonna learn that no one will ever want to take me?

You would’ve thought I’d learned my lesson to answer my phone but I didn’t. Years later a similar scenario happened. I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I grew up in a decade without cell phones. I guess people would’ve just assumed I was dead after every date.

My last and most exciting EPCOT lover was from the UK. On this trip I was with my friend Janna and we had been walking around for a while when we ran into my mom. She told us there was a really cute guy in one of the shops in the English pavilion for Janna. My first thought was, “What about me?!” So we met this guy and talked to him and he invited us to go to a club with him—yes, Disney has clubs. There, we met up with him and his friend Christopher.

Of course Christopher wasn’t as cute as Janna’s guy (I forget his name) but he was funny and I wasn’t picky. We ended up dancing and making out until midnight. I knew I had to be back at midnight because I was basically Cinderella. After that trip I realized that it’s less work to just admire guys from afar at EPCOT.

Especially the guys in the Norwegian pavilion.

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51 thoughts on “EPCOT Escapades

  1. This was the last thing I was expecting a piece about EPCOT would involve. I have a friend who met a girl in the line at one of the Disney rides. I think meeting people at Disney never works out but it’s good for a few hours. It truly is the most magical place on earth then once you leave reality sets in.

    • It’s true. Disney is magical in that there are tons of other people our age wandering around looking for a romantic moment. Or maybe it was just me? I made sure to only flirt with employees, meeting people in line for a ride is weird. Although you might be in a line for hours so who knows.

  2. Good times! All I can say is I succeeded in keeping you alive. You can’t argue that, right?
    Liam Neeson and I would have made a good team. He could have talked me through setting off grenades from the roof tops and drawing circles on the map. LOL! Now you’re Paul’s problem. teehee

    • Lol I think I would’ve remained alive without your calls, but it’s nice to know that someone cares enough to have a panic attack over me. :D

      Lol the map with the circlessss. Oy. So dumb.

      teehee. So far Paul has kept me alive. We’ll see what the future holds though.

    • Thanks Addie. Blonde and tall was what I meant to say. The ‘c’ button isn’t even near the ‘t’ button so I don’t know how that happened.

      You’ve never lived! Disneyland is worse because it’s only The Magic Kingdom (and now California Adventure) but Disney World has The Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, MGM Studios, three water parks, Animal Kingdom…I COULD GO ON…

  3. OK, now you know you have to explain that last line. That was probably the most esoteric thing I have ever read. Tell me about the Norweigian guys!

    Haha B and I went to EPCOT together when I had just graduated from college. We actually spent his 21st birthday there. With my mom and my brother. So basically it was the sexiest thing ever.

    • Hahaha much to my chagrin, nothing happened with any Norwegian guys. I only drooled over them from afar. Seriously, those guys can’t take a hint! Maybe because they’re working along side Norwegian girls. The Moroccan men and British men weren’t that lucky.

      Omg that sounds super hot. 21st birthdays are fun though. EPCOT is fun and I’m jealous of your memories.

    • Yesss let’s go together. I’ll be sure to show you all the hot spots. The English pavilion is one of my favorites! They have a really good restaurant called the Rose and Crown haha everything is so perfect there.

    • This is true. Let’s focus on the more important aspect. If I’m ever taken, my mom would hunt me down. So comforting, yet so embarrassing.

      She’s been known to throw a sweet throat punch in her day.. ;)

  4. What costumed Disney park employee do you think picks up the most ladies? My money is on Aladdin. Proposed pick up line: Baby, do you want to see if my magic carpet matches my magic drapes.

    • Hah eww! But yeah probably Aladdin. But the person that plays him in the park is pretty short. Maybe Phoebus from Hunchback of Notre Dame. Or Gaston? Haha

      Or maybe the hunchback? Hahah

  5. Popcorn was invented in Canada? Wow. I just looked it up and found that the earliest known popcorn was from 1519, found in a bat cave in New Mexico. Migrating Canadian bats probably stopped at a 7-Eleven, bought some Super-Pufft, and then made little popcorn poopies in New Mexico. The internet never lies.

    But that’s not the take-away from your post, right? Epcot apparently is the sizzling center of young love, Disney-style. That’s amazing!

    You lead such an exciting life. :)

    • I love that my post inspired you to look up popcorn facts. haha! Bats are typically known to help the human race evolve through popcorn so I believe it.

      Hah my life is not exciting! But thank you! I’m glad you liked it! Lot’s so sizzling young love for sure. I always thought EPCOT was super romantic. Maybe because they have a fake Eiffel Tower?

  6. Before cell phones they wouldn’t have assumed you were dead after every date becuase you would have had a chaperone on all of them – problem solved!

    Haven’t been to Epcot yet, but it’s on the list and I’ll get around to it one of these days. However, it is one of the places my wife has been to without me which is going to make it difficult to schedule it in. (She’s also been to New York, Miami, and Hawaii without me… what’s with that?!)

    • Your wife sounds selfish. Maybe you should ditch her? Jk jk. My husband has been to Hawaii without me and I complain about it every day. How rude.

      Epcot is great. Your wife will probably want to go again because it’s so good. If she hasn’t been in the last 5 years, they’ve actually added a lot of new stuff! Fun for everyone!

      • Her travels are all work related, so, not much either of us could have done about them… but, yeah, rude! :-P

        I think she does want to go back so probably won’t take too much convincing.

  7. harperfaulkner says:

    EPCOT? Ha! Give me a break. LameO! If you really want to do some canoodling, It’s a Small World After All is perfect. It’s really cold on the hottest days and the song is so bad any women (or guy) by your side wants to make out. Plus, you can stay on the ride forever! I also got some booty in Pirates of the Caribbean. However, now I like the ESPN bar while my wife hauls the twin nephews around the Magic Kingdom. I find Disneyworld to be much more enjoyable when you’re half lit. HF

  8. harperfaulkner says:

    Oh, and Lily, you know I love you like the daughter I never had. Wait, I had a great daughter. Never mind about that. I have held off in hopes that someone else would say something, but anyway–do you think there might be something wrong in your headline? Just asking. Don’t want to cause a fuss. So sorry. HF

    • Yeah yeah yeah. I fixed it just for you. I literally hate when people correct my stuff unlike you who I’m sure likes to have everything perfect. If something’s wrong it doesn’t really bother me, but thanks for looking out for me. I’m probably like the mean, abusive daughter you never had! :)

  9. Funny post and I apologize in advance because this is off the mark but your recollections of Disney reminded me of the time we went as kids. My father decided he would drive two of my brothers and me down to Disneyland and thinking she would say no, he asked our grandmother as a courtesy if she wanted to go and thinking he would never actually go, my grandmother said yes.

    So cut to two adults and three boys stuffed into a Toyota the size of a seat cushion for a two day drive from NJ to Disneyland. Even though we were jammed in that car, my brothers and me were all jazzed to be going to FL and to be headed to the happiest place on Earth. We get there, pay whatever exorbitant amount it was for our tickets and are barely able to restrain ourselves from breaking into a dead run –but we can’t since we had to keep pace with my Grandmother. Not halfway over this little bridge that takes you into the heart of the park, my grandmother stops, gives the place the once over and says to nobody in particular but loud enough for all of us to hear, “Sucker’s paradise.”

    That’s a theme park theme that tough to adjust to. Made me wish they had a Devil’s Island pavilion at Epcot we could have booked her into for 72 hours or so…

    • Haha damn your grandma really knew what was up. She could see through the magic–it wasn’t fooling her! Haha that’s awesome. I remember driving there when we were younger too. We drove from Indiana. WHY. Longest trip.

      Have you been back since? If so, you’re a true sucker like the best of us! :)

      • I took one of my kids to the one in CA but outside of business trips that were held at the one in FL, I haven’t been back “willingly”. In retrospect, I think I may have inherited or “caught” my grandmother’s cynicism depending on whether you think that particular trait is passed on through genetics or from not covering your mouth with your elbow when you say mean things…

      • Hah right on! If a day went by when I didn’t say something mean, I’m pretty sure the world would explode. So I’m right there with ya!

  10. I’ve been to Orlando and to EPCOT! We at some point could have been stood in the same place as each other, how weird is that? That’s some Time Travellers Wife shit that is. I was about 15 at the time and I was with my parents, I can’t remember what I did there exactly I just remember it was hot and I sweated profusely.

    • Hahaha my family gets so sweaty there. There’s no way not to. “That’s some Time Travellers Wife shit that is” HAHAHA just died laughing.

      We’re basically twins. I was probably there at the same time as you which is like some Twilight Zone shit.

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