This is the title of one of Roald Dahl’s short stories. It’s about two men who read the gossip column in the paper every morning. One writer in particular often slanders the names of high society members. The two men reading the column feel bad for those trapped in the fire of words written against them. Long story short, they devise a plan to help the people that the columnist wrote badly about. They decide to beat up, scare, or embarrass the columnist for a reasonable fee. Why not make it a business? This same situation happens to people every day! And so they did.
One reason why I love Roald Dahl is because he makes me think about a story long after I’ve finished it. Another reason is that, in most of his stories, everyone gets what’s coming to them. There’s nothing better than karma, whether it’s instant, or in the case of Vengeance Is Mine, Inc., man-made.
If you could seek vengeance on someone that did you wrong and no one would ever know it was you, would you? It’s hard to say for me personally. The idea is so tempting. There are plenty of times I’ve wanted to punch someone in the face. Well, maybe not plenty, but a handful of times for sure.
Here is the list of punishments you would be able to choose from by Vengeance Is Mine, Inc.:
1. Punch in the nose, once, hard–$500
2. Black eye — $600
3. Punch in the nose and a black eye — $1000
4. Introduce a rattlesnake (with venom extracted) into his car, on the floor by the pedals, when he parks it –$1500
5. Kidnap him, take all his clothes away except his underpants, his shoes and socks, then dump him out on Fifth Ave. in rush hour — $2500
Which would you choose (if money wasn’t a factor, obviously)? I feel like it would depend on how much the person bothered me. The rattlesnake one is pretty genius, I must admit. And depending on the enemy, I wouldn’t always opt for the venom to be extracted…if ya know what I mean.
Do you think an act like this is worth the money? I hate to say that I do. I actually think the business idea is great! I might steal it for myself. My occupation at the moment is sleeping so I bet I could get more money this way. And punch more people in the face.