School

My Carbon Footprint

Science was never my thing. And by “never my thing” I mean that I loathe it. Earth Science=rocks are dumb. Physics = velocity squared times I don’t care. Chemistry = Periodic Table of Death. Biology = the bane of my existence. I only failed one class during my college career and that was Bio. I re-took it and got a D-. I was clearly enthused about learning. Photosynthesis and cells and plant life are sooooooo boring. I have no time for that. However, I believe that my teacher initially failed me for one reason and one reason only–the size of my carbon footprint.

Me in every science class.

I have pretty big feet. And you know what big feet mean…big shoes! Hah yeah everyone makes that joke, but it’s somehow funnier when I say it, don’tcha think? My size 11 feet make pretty large footprints, so shouldn’t it make sense that my carbon footprint would be above average? It seems pretty straight forward.

My teacher made us take a quiz online to measure our carbon footprint. I printed mine out and brought it to class. I answered the questions as honestly as I could. Here’s an example of a question:

What energy sources do you use in your home? Check all that apply.

Electricity.

Natural gas, propane, or liquified petroleum gas.

Heating oil.

Wood burning biomass.

Being a completely normal person, I only checked electricity and moved on. I mean come on, heating oil? I’m not Amish. Wood burning biomass? WTF is that?

When I got my quiz results it said:

Ughghh really? This is the opposite of impressive. Maybe my teacher won’t judge me, I thought. Oh, she judged me alright. She judged me good and hard. I tried talking to her and I even pretended that I was interested in mitosis! But even my greatest brown-nosing failed me. I was disappointed for like 5 minutes and then I got over it. I realized that I am who I am and if that means I’m single handedly destroying our planet, then so be it.

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Food

Neapolitan, More Like Neapoopitan

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Whoever invented Neapolitan ice cream is a total psycho. Turns out it’s those damn Italians. Well, just the ones from Naples. Neapolitan immigrants brought their awesome ice cream recipes to the cool side of the pond a.k.a. the new world a.k.a. the U.S.A. a.k.a. Italy is gross. I’m not saying Italians don’t know how to make delicious foods, because they definitely do. Gelato is amaze maze–I’m super grateful for whoever invented that. And remember in Eat Pray Love when Julia Robert’s character has an eating frenzy in Naples because the pizza tastes like heaven? She eats so much that her pants don’t fit. She would. However, Neapolitan ice cream is just downright wrong.

Okay, I’m gonna have to ask you to calm down about the pizza.

Apparently Neapolitan ice cream is a variation (almost an evolution) of spumoni. Let it be said that spumoni is good and Neapolitan isn’t. Have you ever been to a party where someone brings out the ice cream and it’s Neapolitan? It’s super lazy. The host thinks they’re being super creative by fulfilling everyone’s dessert wishes in one, but little do they know, no one wins when Neapolitan is served. It puts an immediate damper on all of the fun food times that everyone’s having. First of all, kids don’t know what Neapolitan is. They can barely pronounce the word. Hell, I can barely pronounce it. Strike one, Italians.

Secondly, people don’t always love chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Usually guests will favor only one of those flavors. And I can tell you right now it’s definitely not all of them mixed together. Neapolitan is basically served block style with the flavors packed in vertical strips. If you request vanilla, you’re going to get vanilla with a little bit of chocolate. If you want chocolate, expect some vanilla and strawb, and if you want strawberry, I hope you like chocolate covered strawberry ice cream! It’s an impossible task to get one flavor without getting a bit of another flavor in it.

Ice cream should not look like a brick.

The vanilla is always a neon yellow color. Like, a color that isn’t even found in nature. The strawberry stripe tastes like…not strawberry. It doesn’t even have strawberry chunks in it or anything! And chocolate ice cream always tastes like coffee to me, so I’m probably not the best judge for that one. Except I do enjoy a good old fashioned Frosty. R.I.P. Dave Thomas.

I hope that we can all agree that ice cream isn’t worth eating unless it’s delicious. I don’t want to waste my precious daily calorie intake on ice cream that tastes grody. I’d rather eat something that never gets old and has a cute name like Cookie Dough, or Baked Alaska, or Pralines and Cream. Not Neapolitan.

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Artwork, Feelings

Blowing My Mind

Have you ever thought about something so hard that it made your brain hurt? I love doing that. Thinking about things that are so great and so hard to comprehend. I started Bill Bryson’s “A Short History of Nearly Everything” last night and (If you haven’t read any Bill Bryson books, you’re pretty much wasting your life.) it made me think about how fleeting life is. He mentions how a human life is about 650,000 hours long. That doesn’t seem like that many hours, does it!?!? I thought I had more time than that.

The other night I was literally wowing myself thinking about how crazy it is that I’m a human being. I know it sounds super dumb. That’s one of the first things we learn when we’re little–I am a person. But really, think of all the other living things you could have been born as. I think everything has a spirit. I could have been born as a cat. But instead I’m able to think, have opinions, get dressed, laugh, make blog posts. I mean, it’s endless the things that we are able to do. Bill Bryson mentioned how we were all made up of atoms. Doesn’t that freak you out? It makes me want to huddle in the corner of the room and rock back and forth. Everything is made of atoms. Why do we know that? HOW do we know that? You can’t see atoms. How are humans so smart?

I read this last night and I loved it:

Not only have you been lucky enough to be attached since time immemorial to a favored evolutionary line, but you have also been extremely–make that miraculously–fortunate in your personal ancestry. Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the Earth’s mountains and rivers and oceans, every one of your forebears on both sides has been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life’s quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result–eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly–in you.

It’s crazy to think about. I’m sure some people are like, yeah yeah, everyone on this planet is human–it’s not that crazy. BUT IT IS.

Have you ever been inside a Cathedral and marveled at it’s grandeur? Or been to a museum and stood in awe of brilliant works of art? It’s kind of amazing how things like that can make you feel so small. I remember feeling that way when I was in Venice right after I exited St. Mark’s Basilica. I can recall thinking, I’m in a city that’s floating on the water. WHAT IS LIFE?!

I browse online for cool stuff all the time. I’ve come across some truly wonderful discoveries, like this: Sand under a microscope.

When I first saw this, I almost cried. How have we been walking around, not knowing the beauty that was beneath our feet? It’s almost like it’s a joke. Everyone hates sand, but they don’t know how beautiful it really is. I know I sound super cheesy, but just look at it!

I was also wowed by this: Jason deCaires Taylor’s Underwater Sculptures.

He took sculptures to a whole new level. By allowing sea life to grow on them, adding color, and making his work even more beautiful and pure. Let’s be real, sculpting is one of the most difficult forms of art. My brain literally hurts when I think of artists chiseling away at what would be the material draped across a statue’s body. Taylor’s work adds another element. To see his work, you have to go beneath the surface. Imagine how quiet it is when you’re viewing them. Such an original and amazing idea.

And lastly, just consider our universe for a minute. Astronomer Geoffrey Marcy said, “They’re all on the same plane. They’re all going around in the same direction…It’s perfect you know. It’s gorgeous. It’s almost uncanny.” while describing the solar system. It’s too perfect to be just “a coincidence”. Did you know that there are as many stars as their are grains of sand? Just let that sink in for a minute. Did you also know that the light from stars that we see every night is thousands of years old and all of those stars are already gone? Mind blown.

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Food

All You Can Eat Taco Night

Paul and I had been dying to go to this restaurant’s All-You-Can-Eat Taco Night. It’s held every Monday and we finally remembered to go yesterday.

The establishment is called Pluto’s. I think it used to be a gas station once upon a time. Now it’s just a really weird purple building with neon lights. Their tag line is “The hottest food from the coolest planet” or something super clever like that. The food is decent, nothing amazing.

The one and only.

We’d eaten there once before and the record for most tacos devoured was 16. That’s not too bad, but nothing special either. I’m not really one to talk. I ended up only eating 6 tacos in all. But to be fair, I had burritos for lunch so I actually could have had maybe two more, which would have left me at a total of 8. We noticed that there was a new record to beat. Some kid ate 28 tacos. We inquired about him. The waitress said he was a short kid, maybe 20 or 21. He stayed for 3 hours eating tacos. Paul and I kind of felt like that was cheating. 3 hours is a long time. He might have even gone to the bathroom during that time, which would also be cheating in my book.

I really wanted Paul to beat that kid. I know he could have too, but by the time he got to his 20th taco, the restaurant was closed. He didn’t want to keep the waitress and staff there for that long, so we left. If we go back, I’m certain he can break the record. I just want the guy who ate 28 tacos to be really upset. YOUR TACO EATING WAS ALL IN VAIN.

Just to be clear, I had mine without cheese or sour cream because both of those items freak me out.

Have you ever been in an eating competition? How many tacos do you think you could eat? Should Paul go back and try to beat the record?

 

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Movies, TV

Adolescent Actors That Might Do Bigger and Better Things

When I was making this list, I started to realize that none of these gals are what I would call child actors. They seem to be young adults. In this modern time, actors and actresses must be believable no matter how old or young they are. No one cuts them slack just because they don’t have a lot of experience. For example, the actors in the brilliant show Full House were full of excuses. The Olsen twins could barely say their lines correctly, yet the world didn’t seem to mind because they were 10 months old. And no one seemed to mind that Uncle Joey (Dave Coulier) obviously had a severe mix of Down Syndrome and Tourettes. Anything would fly back then.

But now, now we’re in the market for serious performers. No excuses. No apologies. No justifications. The following is a list of youngsters that I believe will be the future of the Actors Guild of America.

Kiernan Shipka. Besides having one of the weirdest name ever, she’s one of the brightest stars around. For those of you who watch Mad Men, you know her as Sally Draper, daughter of Don and Betty. For those of you who don’t watch Mad Men, do you live under a rock? Stop reading blog posts and go catch up on the seasons you’ve missed. Sally is one of the best characters not only in Mad Men, but in television history. Kiernan plays her perfectly. I know she will go on to do bigger and better things.

Hailee Steinfeld. “They tell me you’re a man with true grit.” That’s the only line I remember her saying from the trailer. I never actually saw True Grit, but she looked awesome in it. Hailee also has a relatively normal name for someone in Hollywood. The moment when I knew Hailee would achieve greatness was when I saw her dress at the Academy Awards last year. What a cutie patootie! I’m not sure if she’s pretentious or if it’s just because she’s 15, but I feel like she’s a pretty confident person. However, if she becomes too confident, she will be transferred to my most hated celebs list. Be wary, Hailee.

Saoirse Ronan. Really? No normal person knows how to pronounce Saoirse. Apparently it’s SEER-shuh. Like, I get that you’re from Ireland, but just stop. But Saoirse really makes up in the talent department for what she lacks in the name department. Her resume includes big films like, Atonement, The Lovely Bones, Hanna, and The Way Back. I’ve only seen Atonement and Hanna, but I really liked both of them a lot. Hanna is pretty weird, but I never found myself bored. And Atonement is awesome. I definitely recommend that. According to IMDB, Saoirse has 4 movies coming out in 2013. Either her parents are slave drivers or….Nazis.

Chloe Grace Moretz. For some reason she has an umlaut above the ‘e’ in her name, and she also had to add her middle name into her title. What is it with these people? No one else is named Chloe Moretz. You don’t have to make it all fancy with your middle name. This isn’t facebook. Anyway, Chloe’s face kind of bothers me, but she seems like someone who will be a great actress eventually. I don’t think she’s on the same level as the others quite yet. But i respect her because she’s worked her way up unlike the aforementioned girls. Chloe did a lot of kids shows and voice overs. She’s been in movies that aren’t that popular. She was barely in 500 Days of Summer. My favorite movie of hers was Let Me In, a remake of the Swedish film Let The Right One In. A true vampire flick. I highly recommend both versions since the remake was basically a carbon copy. And now she’s in another vampire movie, Dark Shadows. Can we just wrap up the whole vampire thing now?

Can we all agree that she has a weird face?

Elle Fanning. Hopefully she’ll make it farther in life than her dumb sister Dakota. The only movie I remember seeing Elle in was Super 8 which wasn’t that good, but she definitely showed her acting skills. Apparently she was in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I guess she wasn’t very memorable. Dakota must be pissed because her sister is climbing up the ladder faster than she did. The one thing that I don’t like about Elle Fanning is that she always smiles with her mouth closed. Someone must have told her that her teeth were gross and scarred her for life or something. Definitely look out for her in 2014 in Maleficentas Princess Aurora. (Maleficent is played by Angelina Jolie! Yessssssssssss.)

Always the pursed lips!

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Exercise, victoria b.c.

The Tweed Ride

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. About two weeks ago Paul and I were walking downtown. We were about to cross the street when a string of bicyclers soared in front of us. Typically I would have thrown my purse in the road hoping to trip all of them using a domino effect. But this time I was too transfixed to even attempt to cross, never mind cause them to crash.

All of the riders were casually biking, not racing. And they were dressed in what seemed to be 1920′s and 30′s British attire. All of the outfits looked so authentic. Not a bad one in sight, really. And everyone had a bit of tweed incorporated into their outfit as well.

I was really intrigued, watching them go by. I felt like I was on the set of a movie. Some people had their children on the back of their bikes and they were dressed up too! So much detail. One of the best bikers actually had a penny-farthing. I don’t know how he found it, but he looked awesome.

Yeeeah. I decided to find a picture because I know none of you knuckle-heads knew what I was talking about.

I guess the Tweed Ride started in London in 2009 and has been picked up throughout the world. It’s described as “a cosmopolitan ride with a bit of style.” Righto.

Usually I wouldn’t be interested in an activity that included exercise and public appearances. But for some reason I want to participate in it next year. I’ll have to start looking for an outfit. And a bike.

Congratulations Canada. This is the first cool thing I’ve seen in a while. Massive props.

Everyone in this video is super annoying and British, but you get the picture.

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