Music

Dear Lana Del Rey Why Are You So Coolio?


After hearing the song, Video Games, by Miss Del Rey, I couldn’t help the urge to become obsessed with her. I went through the same kind of thing with Gaga, but she literally wore a dress made of meat, and after that point I really couldn’t deal. Let’s delve into some reasons why I love her. Hopefully this will make up for the post where I made fun of Adele and everyone hated me for like 5 minutes.

Lana Del Rey is a cool name, right? Yeah, too bad it’s not her real name. We can’t all be blessed with awesome names like mine. Lana’s real name is Elizabeth Woolridge Grant so can anyone really blame her for changing it? No. We support you Lana/Elizabeth. Although I would have made the ‘D’ in Del Rey lower case, but whatever.

Lana has some really crazy fingernails. I have to applaud her for never poking her eye out with one of those bad boys. They’re so long and pointy. Does she bleed every time she scratches herself? She must. What a brave soul. Inflicting pain on herself just to be cool and different. That’s probably something I would do. Beauty is pain after all.

Wowza.

Lana’s song Video Games is awesome. It’s so different from anything I’ve heard lately. Her voice is gravel-y, yet controlled and smooth. A walking contradiction, she is. The music video is self-made and pretty bomb. Other songs of hers that I enjoy are Born To Die and Blue Jeans. Here are some Born To Die lyrics:

“Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry,

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough,

I don’t know why…

…Choose your last words,

This is the last time,

Cause you and I, we were born to die.”

Mmm I love those lines. I mean, we’re all going to die eventually, so good for Lana for figuring out a way for everyone in the world to relate to her song.

There have been a lot of bad reviews on her Born To Die album though. Which is weird. In fact, there’s an online article with every awful thing that different magazines have said about her. Here’s an example:

Yowch. But like, does anyone even read the Los Angeles Times? Does anyone even live in Los Angeles? Plus, I think recording an album in an underwater cathedral would be an amazing feat. So, she should take that as a compliment.

Also, her song Video Games was parodied to perfection into a song about The Hunger Games, appropriately titled, Hunger Games. Listen, if you don’t like Lana by now, here’s a picture of her holding a cat. Cat’s are awesome.

But you're like really pretty, Lana Del Rey.

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25 thoughts on “Dear Lana Del Rey Why Are You So Coolio?

  1. Marya says:

    Is it just me or is Ms. Del Rey bring back the ’80s in a subtle, classic way. I’m impressed. The other aspect of her I just can’t deny is that she has a resemblance, in a certain light, to my good friend from Driver’s Ed. days, Half Pint/Laura Ingalls/Melissa Gilbert/Wen Info-mercial Star. I’m just sayin’

    • Totes. Anyone who can figure out how to make the 80’s look good, is super impressive. Hmm I can kind of see the resemblance. But I feel like Lana is far more superior in the looks department than old, dirty Half Pint.

    • Yeah it does seem kind of pornish. But someone said that about my name when I was born too. Maybe it’s just the sign of a fantastic name.

  2. Her cat looks like DC. She should be thrilled she’s made your blog, and, I’m thinking I should go listen to her sing now. Because you are bringing more people into seeing how great she is, she should hire you as her manager.

    Jus’ sayin’.

    • You should listen to her sing! She’s really good! I think I would be a great manager, come to think of it! Hmm. Maybe I’ll forward her this post and see what she thinks!

  3. I only know who this is from top Yahoo searches. That’s also how I learn about newly discovered planets.

    What nationality is she? It better be Mexican. Doesn’t Del Rey mean “The King”? That’s not very feminine of her.

  4. I like her. Even though she’s not the greatest live singer, her album is interesting. Also she’s not mexican but she did make up the name with her mexican friends.

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