Stores

Customer Service


Why do employees have to be nice to customers? It’s so fake. Customers obviously don’t want to be talked to because whenever they enter a store, their eyes dart around the room to avoid the burning gaze of the employees.

I realized today that I’m the worst at pretending I’m interested when I’m really not. I think the people I work with have taken note of this because I get comments like, “So have you worked in merchandise before?” or “Do you want to organize those t-shirts?”

I think my supervisors try to give me jobs where I don’t have to talk to people. Which is fine by me. I got to Windex some shelves today and it was definitely a highlight.

I love talking to my co-workers or should I say my co-volunteer-ers. I actually talk to them for most of my shift. Ignoring customers is a gift that I have. It’s just that whenever I ask someone if they need help finding anything, they say “nope” or “just browsing” or give me an intense death stare. So then I just leave and wander around some more. I don’t understand why no one needs my help, but then they’ll strike up a conversation with one of the other employees.

The thing is though, whenever people do have questions for me, I never know the answer. Unless it’s “How much does this cost?” I’m the champion of finding prices. People are always scared to pick up delicate things. Hell, I’ll juggle it if that’s how you find the price.

Could I force people to buy things if I break them trying to find a price for them?

I have a lot of good conversations with the people that I work with, but I don’t have anyone to make fun of customers with. I noticed this today actually. A guy with a really gross long beard came in the store and I needed to comment on it desperately, but everyone I work with is too nice. So I had to make fun of old long-beard in my head. It turns out that he didn’t speak English so I could have just said how gross his beard was to his face and smiled. But that’s just too mean. I would be like the Vietnamese women who give me pedicures. They say nice things to your face–“Ohh you so tall, you should be model” but then all of a sudden they start laughing and speaking Vietnamese. Borderline abusive behavior.

No one ever warns you about your feet and legs hurting from all that standing. Mine always hurt after I work. I feel like a modern day Cinderella but instead of an evil step-mother and step-sisters I have a supervisor and co-workers. And instead of being forced to clean, I’m forced to talk to random people about Native American art. My life is basically a Disney movie. Actually one of my co-workers told me that I reminded her of Cinderella. Not my top choice of Disney princesses, but I’ll take it.

The resemblance is uncanny. Especially when she's making that face.

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16 thoughts on “Customer Service

    • The thing is, I can’t really work her because I’m not a citizen. That’s just at my volunteer job. I shouldn’t be complaining about work that I signed up for, but I can’t help it!

  1. Hah front facing customer service, that’s something I’ve not done for awhile, the only sort of experience like that I had was working for a hotel. Trying to avoid customers you can’t do though as they walk up to reception and don’t go away until you come out of the back office.

  2. LOL! The nice Canadian people just have to get use to your ways. I think you can break them in by letting them think you’re joking and then eventually reveal that you’re not.
    If I had been there we could have had a good time with the beard man.

    That Cinderella picture is perfect- it captures the real essence of you.

    • I know, they’re way too nice sometimes. I haven’t really had a situation where I could showcase my sense of humor yet.

      Hah I just need to find a Gus Gus…

  3. Every friend I’ve ever made came from making fun of strangers. Imagine how many friends have been made from making fun of me??? It’s got to be an amazing amount.

    I imagine you making fun of the guy to his face then having a Braveheart moment. You know, the part when they’re insulting Mel Gibson then shows off how he can not only speak French but also Latin? That was great.

    • Haha Mel used to be so cool. Now the only language he speaks is racist. I love making fun of people. That’s like the main reason I leave the house. Just knowing there are people out there that are way worse and creepier than me makes me happy.

  4. Ha – I was thinking the same thing about Canadians as a Gripping Life when I read this!
    If you bring your customer service skills to NYC, you’d be running the joint inside a month.

  5. I thought you could only do babysitting for a job at the moment. Have you been lying to us?

    I know what you mean about having to laugh at someone who looks like a pleb. I tend to clock such things straight away and I always feel like I am going to burst. Once, at the office I work in, the smallest person in the building came in through the door and nearly collided with one of the largest, fattest people I have ever met. The look of panic on the fat person’s face was amazing.

    No-one else saw it happen.

    Retail is hell though. I would sometimes put little bits of bubble wrap on the floor and wait for an unsuspecting customer to step on it. The old people got really confused, it was great.

    I was awful at answering questions as well. I had no idea of the answer to anything. I sort of didn’t really care what wood the chairs were made of.

    • Haha no this is for my volunteering. But I feel like I should be getting paid for it! That’s awesome about the bubble wrap! Smart move there!
      That’s so funny about the collision with fatty and tiny. Must have been pure entertainment!

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