I’ve come across some updates having to do with my new homeland. Can you have a “new homeland”? It’s getting to the point where I’m used to all of the weirdness around me. The same thing happened to me in England. After a while I was saying things like “might do” instead of “maybe”. It’s all down hill from there. I’ve even been tempted to throw in an “eh” every now and then. I need an electric collar to shock me any time I get too Canadian.
Canada’s population has recently grown quite a bit since the last census in 2006 (31.6 mill). Now the nation has reached 33.5 million. That’s pretty exciting. I mean, I don’t like to bring up the fact that Canada is the 2nd largest country in the world and has a population slightly lower than the state of California. But hey, who’s counting?! Good for you, Canada!
In other news, Canada’s prime minister, Stephen Harper, went to China. He’s decided to get two giant pandas on loan from China for five years. These pandas will be places in the Calgary zoo and the Toronto zoo. Stephen Harper is now my biggest enemy. I can relate to these gentle giants. Pandas want to be in China. They don’t want to come over to Canada. They just wanna chill and eat bamboo. The kicker is, borrowing these pandas for five years costs 10 million dollars. I feel like there are better ways to spend that money. Like on me, for example.
I saw a license plate that changed my life the other day. In Canada, there are about 14 license plates. I personally think all of the United State’s license plates are cool, but I had never seen one like this:
The Northwest Territories plate is shaped like a polar bear! I think Nunavut’s is as well. I mean, it would suck to live up there, so they probably had to do something cool to ease everyone’s pain. I think “spectacular” might be slightly misleading, but whatever. I think you can see the Northern Lights in the NW Territories. That’s the only reason I would venture up there.
And lastly, people are still into curling here.
Haha! Spectacular! I agree that the only reason to step foot in the Northwest Territory would be for the cool license and the Northern Lights. I do like the plate. maybe Chicago could get one shaped like the bean?
Who cares if the accent rubs off on you a little, s’bound to happen, eh?
Illinois should get one shaped like Abe Lincoln’s head. I mean, we are the Land of Lincoln after all.
Canada needs to get itself involved in a war. That way Canadians can laugh at the lame newscasts and say “Isn’t there a war going on?” and then complain that the news is too violent.
Yeah Canadians just need to be more involved in general. They like to complain about the US being too involved. Canadians are cray.
What if Canada had a Civil War? I think that would be rad.
We are to polite for that
You guys are way too nice.
Scotland got two pandas about two months ago, same thing £8 million and £1 million a year, but these animals are breed in a zoo and cannot go into the wild.
There is a program to let pandas free and they never have human contact.
A panda let out one year ago was found killed six months later.
Oh wow. I didn’t realize that they can’t go into the wild. I hate the idea of breeding animals and keeping them in environments that they can’t live outside of. Poor pandas.
Population boom!! I want a Northern Lights license plate. Sadly, no one offers them. Boo.
A northern lights license plate would be awesome. We need to find a way to make that happen!
Aren’t those plates the coolest. See them a lot in Calgary. Pretty much the only way you can drive out of NWT is through Alberta. Pretty sure it is impossible to dive out of Nunavut, never seen a plate from there.
They are the coolest! Haha yeah I looked up the Nunavut plate and it’s the same. I doubt I would ever see one in real life. It’s like a rare species.
800,000 sq miles, 31000 people, 4,000 vehicles and no roads connecting it to the rest of Canada. Wiki says there are plans to connect to Manitoba, but it will cost billions.
What would constitute a Canadian civil war? Being impolite to your enemy?
Make sure to take frequent trips across the border, Lily. Otherwise I fear for your attitude…
Oh, I’m just kidding Gaup. Civil Wars, and any kind of wars for that matter, are not good! But yeah I don’t think Canadians are mean enough to start wars.
A Canadian civil war is one where the Leafs play the Canadiens or the Flames play the Oilers. About as close as it gets
I had a sit down with a couple of Canadian friends not too long ago and we drew a map of Canada so I could really understand what the heck was going on. First and foremost, I am a cartographer, so I love to internalize facts while map-making. Secondly, I am fascinated that there are three HUGE territories to the north that have so few people! Hugely huge! Because it’s so cold. I just never thought about it until we drew maps.
Then we all drew our version of the US and I leave out about 15 states each time. I think it would be easier if we only had 13 states total like Canada, although there are apparently provinces AND territories, not states. I told you, I learned a lot that night.
Dude. That’s awesome that you’re a cartographer. So glad to finally know one! Having 13 states would be awesome. I feel like we would be more of a country and less of just a bunch of states. But I guess thats one of the things that makes the US so cool and different.
The provinces are equivalent to states, just a British thing. The territories are no fully mandated as provinces and are supported by our federal government. Some day they could become full fledged provinces.
John, you are my new Canadian go-to guy. You seem to know everything aboot Canada and that makes me happy that you’re so patriotic. Or maybe you’ve just been here too long.
That license plate is awesome! Wanna have!
Me tooooooo!
I am more than happy for you to ‘adopt’ your new homeland as it means you will find other things to laugh at and keep us entertained with.
Personally I don’t understand the obsession with pandas and getting them to breed in captivity. Quite frankly if I was thrown into some kind of reverse Lilliputian world where I was bunged into a cage, given crap food and forced to shag some fat ugly person I didn’t like, I wouldn’t feel like breeding either.
Pandas look cute but ultimately they are rubbish. They can only eat one type of plant and the males can only obtain an erection once a year if a pig walks past Castle Dracula whilst playing a banjo.
I reckon a panda invented curling.
I know, leave pandas alone! You’re right, they’re not exciting anyway! Just leave them alone to eat their bamboo in peace. Hahaha I think a panda did invent curling. That’s why they have to be punished and be bred in tiny rooms. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
Haha! “Panda’s are rubbish!” I think that should be a bumper sticker.
It’s true though. They are the goldfish of the mammal world.
Don’t hump, eat boring stuff and just look miserable.
I remember reading this while strung out on Red Bull and Gin at 3am this morning. Still awesomeness reading it twice Lillers!
Aww thanks Sir Peteth of Howorth. I always do that. I’ll read someone’s post and then I’m like “there’s no way I’ll make sense if I comment right now.”
I think I was in the middle of commenting then realised my friends had disappeared so I abandoned it. It was probably the greatest thing ever written
Noooo. Do your friends realize that they ruined the greatest thing ever written?
I dont think they realised what their names even where let alone anything else.
hahah typical night out
Great update from The Great White North, Lily!
Thanks Hook! I do what I can!